In accordance with his emphasis on the social influences upon personality, Adler (1931) suggested that certain life - styles frequently develop as a function of one's ordinal position within the family. Specifically, he reasoned that even though children have the same parents and grow up in nearly the same family setting, they do not have identical social environments. The experiences to parental attitudes and values that vary as a result of the arrival of more children, additional education, or specific circumstances create unique conditions of childhood that profoundly influence the formation of one's life - style.
For Adler, the child's numerical rank in the family constellation is of considerable importance. Particularly important are the perception of the situtation that are likely to accompany the position occupied. Thus, it is the meaning that children attach to the situation that actually determines in what way their particular ordinal positions will influence their life - style. Moreover, because perceptions are inevitably subjective, children born in any position may create for themselves any life. In general, though, certain characteristics are commonly found in children born at a specific position. Adler focused on four such birth - order positions: the first - born, the second - born, the youngest, and the only child.
The First - Born (Oldest) Child Because she or he is first - born, the oldest child is in the enviable position for a time of being and "only child." Usually the parents are thrilled if not somewhat anxious about the arrival of their first - born and are thus totally devoted to doing all the "right things" for their new baby. The first - born thus receives the parents' undivided love and care. In turn, she or he often enjoys a secure and serene existence - until another child is born to remove the favored status. This event dramatically changes the child's situation and view of the world.
Adler often referred to the first - born as the "king dethroned," and noted that this might be a very traumatic experience. Seeing that a younger sibling is winning the contest for parental attention and affection, the oldest child fights back in order to regain his or her former supremacy in the family. However, the battle to recapture the original position is doomed from the beginning; things will never be the same as they were, no matter how hard the first - born tries. Eventually the child learns that the parents are too busy too harassed, or too unconcerned to tolerate infantile demands. Then, too, the parents exercise for more power then the child and are likely to counter troublesome (attention - getting) behavior with punishment. The final outcome of this family struggle is that the first - born child "trains himself for isolation" and masters the strategy of surviving alone and independently of the need for anyone's affection of approval.
The Second - Born (Middle) Child The second child has from the very beginning, a pacesetter in the form of an older brother or sister and is thus stimulated, or perhaps challenged, to outdo the older child's exploits. The second - born is often generating a faster rate of development than the first - born exhibited. For example, the second child may begin talking and walking at an earlier age than the first child did. "He behaves as if he were in a race, as if someone were a step or two in front and he had to hurry to get ahead of him."
As a result of all this, the second - born is characterized by being highly competitive and ambitious. Her life - style is one of constantly trying to prove that she is better than her older sibling. Thus, the middle child is characterized as being achievement - oriented, using both direct and devious means to surpass the older sibling.
I am a middle child.
The Youngest Child The situation of the youngest child or last - born child is unique in several ways. First, he never experiences the shock of dethronement by another child and may, as the "baby" ot "pet" of the family, be pampered not only by the parents but, particularly in large families, by older siblings as well. Second, if the parents are economically strapped, he may be relegated to the position of "tag - along kid" who has nothing of his own and must get by on hand - me - downs from other family members. Third, with several older models that sat the pace, all of whom are bigger, stronger, and more privileged then he is, he is likely to experience strong feelings of inferiority coupled with a lack of independence.
Nevertheless, the last - born possesses one advantage: a high motivation to surpass older siblings. As a result, this child often becomes the fastest swimmer, the best musician, the most talented artist, or the more ambitious student in the family constellation. Adler sometimes spoke of the "fighting youngest child" as the child most likely to become a revolutionary.
The Only Child According to Adler, the only child in the unique position of not having other siblings with whom to compete. This fact, coupled with a vulnerability to beging pampered by the mother, often leads an only child into an intense rivalry with the father. She or he thus becomes "tied to the mother's apron strings" and expects pampering and protection from all others too. Dependency, and self - centeredness are the leading qualities of this life - style.
Such a child continues to be the focus of family attention throughout childhood. In later life, however, occurs a rude awakening - the discovery that he or she is no longer the center of attention. The only child had never had to share the center stage not to compete with another siblings for it.
Each of the above examples represents a stereotypic description of the "typical" oldest, middle, youngest, and only child. And, as previously noted, not every child in each of these categories will fit the general life - style descriptions proposed by Adler. What he was suggesting is that each child's original position in the family is likely to present certain kinds of problems, e.g., having to give up being the center of attention after having held the limelight forf some time, having to compete with others who have more expertise, and so on. Thus, Adler's interest in birth order relationships was nothing more than an effort to discover the kinds of problems faced by children and the kinds of solutions children might develop in trying to cope with these problems.
