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Asian Stereotypes & Attributes

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YOU KNOW YOU ARE CHINESE IF...

1. You think you're the smartest people in the world.
2. You have a pager and cellular phone with you at all times.
3. Today's steamed rice is tomorrow's fried rice.
4. You're afraid of black people.
5. You hate being called "Zip Head" at school.
6. You have puffy hair and u split it in the middle.
7. All other races (whites, blacks, beaners, etc.) know what you are because when they see you, they automatically say, "Are you Chinese or something?"
8. You've mastered the piano, violin, or flute. That's all because any other instrument isn't worthy to be played.
9. You're proud because every other Asian says "I'm part Chinese" or have Chinese connections.
10. You believe Bruce Lee was a national hero.
11. You know you are superior to all other Asians.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE KOREAN IF...

1. You smoke and drink too much.
2. You're actually sorry that Margaret Cho's sitcom was canceled
3. You're afraid of black people.
4. You hate the Movie "Don't be a Menance While Drinking...Etc."
5. Your friends tell you..."How do you walk with your eyes closed??"
6. You have 6 AP classes and you're on the tennis team.
7. You are always on the evening news with other races involved.
8. A relative owns a store and all own personal handguns.
9. Your last name is Kim/Park, you are a relative to a Kim/Park.
10. You know you are superior to all other Asians.
11. You get irritated when other races ask you "Are you Chinese or something??"

YOU KNOW YOU ARE MALAYSIAN IF ...

1. You believe everything the Government tells you.
2. But are willing to change your mind if someone slips you $50.
3. The whole world (and Soros) is out to suppress you and your country.
4. You think that Mahathir will be around in 2020.
5. You welcome all people (be they black or otherwise) who invest in the MSC (Multi-Super Corridor)
6. You think you are superior to most other Asians, but $50 can change that too.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE SINGAPOREAN IF ...

1. You eat, sleep, have sex and smile according to the policies stipulated by the Government in the Red Book they gave you when you were born.
2. The Red Book does not state that you have to be afraid of black people so you aren't.
3. You know you are superior to all other Asians, because it says so in the Red Book.
4. You think the Government is oppressive but you still vote them in again and again.
5. You join a long queue even though you don't know what that queue is for.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE CAMBODIAN IF...

1. You own, have relative who owns, or know someone who owns a DONUT SHOP!!!
2. You have a life time job at a donut shop.
3. You still work at a donut shop on weekends even if you have a full time job outside.
4. You HATE Donuts!!
5. You live in Long Beach and/or you have relatives who live in Long Beach, or, you go to Long Beach every weekend.
6. You can't live without steamed rice.
7. You're darker than all your other Asian friends.
8. You kick it with black people and other people think you're black too.
9. You hate the name Pol Pot.
10. The first cool thing you learned in America is how to break dance.
11. You hate it when people think Cambodians are the dirtiest asians.
12. You own the old Toyota Cressida or an old Nissan Maxima.
13. You have a Laotian relative.
14. You are tired of Cambodian stereotypes, so you say that you are "Kampuchean" instead.
15. You want other Asians to stop meddling in your country.
16. You deny numbers 1 through 15

YOU KNOW YOU ARE VIETNAMESE IF...

1. You've gotta have fish sauce with every meal.
2. You eat at a restaurant that has "Pho."
3. You have some relative who is Chinese.
4. You're afraid of black people.
5. Your mom has the meanest accent and you can't even understand a word she says.
6. People call you "war boy or war girl" in school.
7. You have rice grains growing in your backyard.
8. Your last name is Nguyen, you have a relative whose a Nguyen, or you live next to a Nguyen.
9. You think you are superior to all other Asians.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE FILIPINO IF...

1. You want to be a dancer, a singer, or an actor, even though you have a day job as a nurse, a security guard, or an accountant.
2. A member of your family back home is a politician or a movie star.
3. You're not afraid of black people.
4. You keep a tabo in your bathroom.
5. You have a T-shirt somewhere in you're closet that says "Filipino Power."
6. You eat your dog.
7. Your mom pronounces a P like an F and an F like a P.
8. Your parent's English sounds like Tagalog.
9. You greet your elders by touching their hands to your forehead.
10. You're proud that your last name is Spanish, and in some cases, you seriously claim you have Spanish blood!
11. When you are talking on a chat room (Yahoo or AOL Chat), your name always includes Flip, Pinoy, or Pinay.
12. You have 5 pairs of tsinelas on your doorstep.
13. You are either in a gang, you want to be in a gang, a relative is in a gang, or your grandpa used to kick with the "Roxas Blvd." gang.
14. You point with your lips.
15. You don't care if you are superior to all other Asians or not, because being Filipino is just cool in itself.
16. You have relatives (or your nickname) whose nicknames consist of repeated syllables, such as Jun-Jun, Ling-Ling, Mon-Mon...etc.
17. You parents call each other "Mommy" and "Daddy" (or "Ma and "Pa")

YOU KNOW YOU ARE INDONESIAN IF....

1. All throughout your years in school, not one teacher have ever pronounced your last name right.
2. You drive a fixed up Toyota Corolla.
3. (Guys) You are dark, have long hair, and listen to Heavy Metal music (Girls) You wish you were Filipino.
4. You're afraid of black people.
5. Your mom is a nurse and your dad is in business.
6. You live in Redlands, CA or Loma Linda, CA, Diamond Bar, CA.
7. Your parent's dream car is a Toyota Previa.
8. You never find "Indonesian" under the ethnicity section of ANY application.
9. You brag about the Komodo dragon living in Indonesia.
10. Whenever you tell someone what race you are, they always answer "Where's that??"
11. No matter what year/model of car you have, you find some way to modify it and race it.
12. You always get the "Are you Filipino or something??" question.
13. You think you are superior to all Asians

YOU KNOW YOU ARE JAPANESE IF...

1. You're obsessed with your hair, your car, and your clothes.
2. You want to marry a Korean American or Chinese American woman (males); or you want to marry a white guy (females).
3. You're afraid of black people.
4. Your household has appliances and electronic products not yet invented in the States.
5. Your last name always ends with a vowel (Akira, Osaka, Fujitsu, Fukuzaki, Miyagi, Toyota, Honda...Etc.)
6. You're the most hated and envied of all other Asians.
7. You know you are superior to all other Asians.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LAOTIAN IF....

1. You own the old Toyota Cressida or an old Nissan Maxima.
2. You wish you were black.
3. You have a black boyfriend (Girls) You wish you had a black girlfriend (Guys).
4. You live in Long Beach, you have relatives who live in Long Beach, or you go to Long Beach every weekend.
5. You have a Cambodian relative.
6. You get mistaken for a Cambodian.
7. The first cool thing you learned in America is how to break dance.
8. You wish people would stop thinking that Laotians are dirty.
9. You lie about what race you are, saying that you are Pinoy or Pinay.
10 You never think that you are superior to all Asians because no one will take you seriously anyways.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE THAI IF...

1. No matter what you eat, it's not greasy or spicy enough.
2. Your last name has a minimum of 15 letters.
3. You're not afraid of black people, because in some cases you're just as dark as they are.
4. Everytime you say you are from Thailand, men's eyes light up and they say "Ahhh...Bangkok city of legalized prostitution!"
5. Females are the main attraction for tourists in your country.
6. You know in your heart that you will never be superior but if you've learned to live with it.
7. You own or you worked in a THAI CUISINE restaurant.

And finally, YOU KNOW YOU ARE ASIAN IF...

1. Your dream goal is to become a DJ or own a racing parts store (Guys) Your dream goal is to go out with a DJ or a racing parts store owner(Girls)
2. Other races (whites, blacks, beaners, and etc.) always refer to you as "Chinese or something".
3. You believe that the Acura Integra or Honda Civic are the fastest cars in the world.
4. Your mom buys noodles in bulk amounts.
5. You don't care that hundreds of other people have the same exact haircut as you do.
6. Being Filipino is the "in" thing to be
7. Your favorite holiday is the day "Import Showoff" comes to town.
8. You laugh whenever you see beaners getting caught and sent back across the border, but turn red in embarrassment when you see the Coast Guard intercepting fish boats off the CA coast.
9. You're proud to be what you are but would hate to live in your own country.
10. Rice is worshiped in your home!!!!!!!
11. You have a Japanese scripted decal on your car that says "Miyagi's Sushi", but you keep it there anyways because no one could read it anyways, plus it looks cool.
12. No matter what crime you do, it never ends up in the evening news or front page of the paper.
13. When you go to a house party, there is 1 girl to 10 guys. All you see is couples dancing in the middle of a circle of guys wishing they had a girlfriend.
14. You work quadruple shifts on minimum wage just so that you could buy an Integra or Civic or buy racing parts for your civic or integra.(for cambodians) you work in your donut shop for 24 hours a day 7 days a week just so you can buy a civic or integra and/or buy racing parts for your integra or civic.
15. You are the majority at all of the universities, but the minority in any sports.
16. You try your hardest to buy the name brand clothes..(polo, nautica,tommy) but instead you buy it at default stores (marshalls, ross, tj max) or just you say fuck it and buy fake ones from your local indoor swap meet.
17. No matter what other races say about you, it doesn't matter cuz you're damn, hell ass proud to be Asian. Why?? Because it beats being called a Redneck, Nigger, or Beaner right??? "Chinks" sound aesthetically better. If you send this to a million people within 10 minutes you will receive a million dollars tomorrow and an Acura Integra of course.

Send this to as many fellow azians possible...show your pride!!!!!!!

P.S. Thanx to Ate Len-Len (hehehe, see above in filipino) for mailing this to me!
For more Azn humor, click here