~~They were after you...after you...after you...~~ Shamal's voice echoed through her dreams. After Queen Cynthia had arrived and after the events surrounding Karen's 'blind' shot into the woods, Patti had asked to return to her quarters because she was exhausted. It had been true then, the stress and strain of having to appear brave was eating up her energy reserves like crazy. But when she finally lay down in bed, she found that she couldn't sleep.
~~They were after you...~~ that insistent voice echoed through her head again.
~~STOP IT!~~ Patti screamed in her head. Rising, she went out to the balcony attached to her room and started pacing restlessly. "Because of me, Cynthia almost died. Because of me. Its my fault..." Patti whispered to herself, tears streaming down her cheeks. "The others could get hurt too.... what must I do? What CAN I do?" She asked herself. She stopped pacing and leaned over the balcony railing. The balcony overlooked the very gardens that she and Shamal had kissed in. Sighing, she rolled over and looked up at the palace looming over her. ~~Shamal, I hope you know what kind of a dilemma you've put me in . . .~~ Patti thought to herself. If the Seakings found out that he and her were more than friends, Shamal would be the next on their list to hurt. ~~More than friends...~~ Patti thought to herself. ~~I can't possibly marry him! He's always been my friend! Almost like.... my little brother!~~ Patti's mind argued.
~~Your father was married and had 2 kids by the time he was 12~~ Patti's heart argued back.
~~My father told me to live life to the fullest before getting married. He told me not to marry or have kids until I'm ready, and I don't know if I'm ready!~~ Her mind shot back.
~~But you're 16, a perfectly acceptable age to get married!~~ Her heart retorted.
~~But he's 12!~~ A pause. Then the heart responded with a clincher,
~~But you love him.~~ There it was, the fact that Patti had been trying to deny ever since the scene when she fainted.
"But I love him...." Patti whispered, trying the words on for size. They fit remarkably well.
Returning to bed, Patti sat for a minute, considering the possibilities open to her. ~~I can't let anybody else get hurt, plain and simple. I could never forgive myself if somebody died because of me~~ Patti thought to herself.
~~Run away?~~ Her mind suggested to her.
~~No, no good. The Seakings would still attack them, because they wouldn't know I was gone. Try again~~ Patti thought back. The mind was silent. Apparently, it was as stumped as she was. Patti was just settling in to finally get some much-needed sleep, which was fast approaching, when the mind returned in a voice so small and quiet, it was almost unheard.
~~Turn yourself in?~~ Patti laid there in the darkness, considering this new line of thought. Any other day, any other time, she would have rejected it almost at once. But now.... now she was the focus of all the attacks, all the injuries upon innocent people. So far, they hadn't killed, but what if they started? What if they killed Karen?
"Her blood would be on my hands.." Patti whispered.
~~But you would be running away from your duty, from the people that love you!~~ Her heart protested, to which the mind replied,
~~One life, or one million lives? If you turn yourself in, how many lives would be saved? Karen's? Shamal's? Cynthia's? The whole population of Ruok? These people won't stop until they get what they want. And they want YOU~~ Patti fell asleep after that, dreaming uneasy dreams of Seakings taking her friends and killing them in a hundred different ways in front of her eyes.
