Witch Trial
Phoebe-Your single, your responsible, and way over due in the sex department. I say go for it.
Piper-I'm not way over due. (Pause) Ok, maybe just a little bit.
Piper-So much for being demon free.
Phoebe (about Dan)-I saw him first!
Stevie-All you have to do is connect.
Phoebe-What do we have to lose?
Piper- Well, apparently we have our clothes to lose.
(Grams)-The Power of Three
Phoebe- Did you just hear that? Grams?
Piper (naked)- Grams?? What?? Where??
Rob-Clubs are an extremely high risk business, Piper. You could lose your shirt.
Piper- Well, it wouldn't be the first time today.
Phoebe- AT&T and the Power of Three
Piper-He's fighting through my freezes. He's adjesting or something.
Jenny-It doesn't matter.
Phoebe-If it matters to you it matters.
Jenny- It's almost that time of the moneth, you knowm and I need some...
Phoebe- Tampons?
Jenny-Right, yeah...
Phoebe-And you don't want to talk to your uncle about it?
Jenny- Yeah, I did but he went out and got sanitary napkins. Liek that's gonna work.
Phoebe-When did the Woogie man come unvanquished?
Piper-A couple seconds ago.
Phoebe-We're screwed.
Piper-And we're out of wine
(Dan comes to door with wine)
Morris-And told me to tell you that if anything were to happen to him that it wouldn't be your fault. He didn't want to you to blame yourself.
Prue- Too late.
Phoebe (about Prue-) I knew you'd come around.
Piper-Excuse me?
Well, I knew deep down.
Phoebe-And we didn't even have to get naked.
Morality Bites
Piper-I wonder how I look.
Phoebe- Piper, you look great, but this is hardly the time...
Piper- Not now, I mean in the future.
Phoebe-Just because you don't understand something doesn't make it evil.
Piper-Want to tell me again how screwed we are?
Prue- Very screwed.
Piper- Thanks.
Piper-What are we going to do?
Leo-What we always do.
Piper-Talk about it later.
Piper- Don't people normally break out of prison?
Guard- Freeze!
Piper-Good idea.
Pratt-I love the smell of dead witch in the morning.
Phoebe-Wrong thing done for the right reason is still the wrong thing. Our job is to protect the innocent, not punish the guilty.
Piper-This guy still hasn't learned his lesson.
Phoebe-Apparently neither have we.
Phoebe-Once you break the small rules it's only time before the big ones are next
A very smart girl once told me we are supposed to protect the innocent, not punish the guilty.
(Leo comes to door)
Piper- Speak of the angel.
Leo-I'm willing to work on it.
Piper- Good, don't ever forget you said that.
The Painted World
Piper (About helping Jenny with her sex project)-Don't worry, I have plenty of experience.
Dan- With sex?
Piper-No, with talking about it.
Piper (about Phoebe)-She's a walking Einstein with clevage.
Phoebe-The human reproductive system? And your uncle wanted Piper to help you out with this?
Piper-If we get out of here I'll buy Phoebe a pair of shoes.
Prue-And I'll buy her the purse to match.
The Devil's Music
Leo-Look, I know your upset.
Piper-No, no. I skated past upset just after you came in the door. Right now I'm at furious.
Leo- We have to talk.
Piper-You bet your whiteliter ass we ahev to talk.
Piper (about Leo)-The question is, where is the relationship? Morris-Right, and this where you say Daryll, and I say Prue and you say something like 'what are you doing here'. Dan (about Jenny)-She's just feeling a little... Piper-I wish we could just stick his head in a toilet and make him cough up the demon. Leo- I do, the timing always just... She's a Man, baby, a Man Piper to Phoebe-Sweet dreams, don't kill anyone. Alan-I'll call you. Phoebe-I mean Piper turned into a werewolf once. Darla to Prue-Oh, I can always tell the frustrated ones. You've been having man troubles lately, haven't you? Phoebe-Did you find anything in the book? Phoebe-I'm OK! (Prue's in bathroom) Prue-How can I save anyone? Ok, I look rediculous! I'm wearing clothes from the ex-boyfriend pile, I have hair in strange places, and I have a penis! Piper-All you have to do is visualive a man you admire and emulate him. The walk will follow. Manny-God, I would just hate to see her [Piper] with a guy who only seeing on the third date runs away. Don't you hate men like that? Jan-Ley me just say you are very in touch with your feminine side. Jan-What do you look for in a women? Phoeb (looking at dan out the window)- Nice body, great tan. Phoebe-Did Manny just check out that girl's butt? Darla-Tell me...you're not a man, you're a women. Piper-Looks like you learned something about being a man by being a man. That Old Black Magic Leo-The worst thing imaginable just happened. Piper-This is wrong. He should be battling acne at this age, not evil witches. Kyle-I'm not the chosen one. I'm no one. Dan-Don't you haev some other house to repair. (Twowatha uses her dust to disappear) Jenny to Kyle- Phoebe once told me that if it matters to you, it matters. Phoebe-Well, I did find one spell, but it requires a human heart, and unfortunatly we're all still using ours. Leo- Snake! Prue (about Jack)-It's business, not personal. Dan-I know that you and the handy-man, Leon. Piper-It's over. (Dan looks sad) Not you and me, him and me. They're Everywhere Piper (thinks)-Hey, she's wearing my lipstick. Piper (thinks)Yeah, next time just get your own damn lipstick. Phoebe (looks at Dan and thinks)-Nice butt. Phoebe-Wait, are you guys thinking something about me right now? (Phoebe is sitting on frozen Eric) Prue (about Eric)-Do we have to protect him? Piper to Dan- OK, I know what you are thinking. Dan (thinks)-Someday, someway, somehow, I'm gonna make it through that damn door. Eric-Are you sure you're not an angel. Phoebe- Did we do something good? P3 H2O Phoebe (about Dan and Piper)-You guys are killing me with cuteness over here. Jack-Hey, how's my favorite auctionette? Phoebe (in accent)-Be very, very quiet. We're hunting demons. Prue-I fell asleep, I woke up, and suddenly it's Thursday. Piper to Dan-I feel I can tell you anything. (closes the door) Except that there's a demon. Sam-What matters most was taken from me 20 years ago. Piper-Dan, wehy are you at the back door? Ms. Hellfire Phoebe-Hey, do you recognize that person? Piper-I don't even care that it's Friday... Prue_Who else would want to kill us? Piper-Freeze. Phoebe-Hey, you know, you can ask me anything you want about being a witch. Prue-Phoebe, I'm working. Dan-Is this not a good time? Piper-C'mon, we went to Duran Duran together. You stretched out my leg warmers. Phoebe (about Bane)-I am beginning to see you attraction to the dark side. Phoebe (about Barbus)-I never get used to kicking his butt. Prue-No Daryll, the ring is not hot. Heartbreak City Phoebe-Fifth wheel cutting in. Phoebe (Piper not in bedroom)-Prue guess who got lucky last night. Cindy-He just walked into traffic. Dumb ass. Is he going to die? Because he should you know. Drazi-Hiding behind witches skirts? Phoebe-What are you smiling at? Drazi-So, you can't kill love after all. But you sure can screw with it. Phoebe-I'm sorry, but did you do something specific to tick Drazi off or did he also find your honesty a complete pain in the ass? Cupid-Your heart is closed. Prue-Oh my god. I have to pee... Prue-Everyone's got , including Jack and Dan. Prue-Jack's scum. Phoebe-Hey, they don't call it "lover's leap" for nothing. Jack-This better be good. Piper-Oh that's really pathetic, paging yourself. Piper-What is going on? Reckless Abandon Phoebe (picks up Morris' butter knife)-Oh my god. I see blood, flesh. You had the sausage for breakfast, didn't you? Piper-I remember when Phoebe was a baby and it was hard on mom and with you [Prue] dropping her all the time... (Matthew pees while getting his diaper changed) Piper-Wow, you are like Migiver with estrogen. Dan-Such a good boy. Guard-Let me guess, your pschic friends? Dan-He really is beautiful. Just like his cousin [Piper]. Piper (about Matthew)-We should be grateful we have a little time off. Prue-Looks like we finally all fell for the same guy. Elias-There are many things worse than death. You taught me that Martha. Awakened Prue-This scares me. Dr. Williamson-Either Piper pulls out of the coma on her own or I'm afraid your sister isn't going to survive. Dan-She just looks like she's sleeping, but I can't wake her up. Piper-Then can I go, because no offense but I hate hospitals. Piper to Dan-And I know that you have been up for almost 24 hours by my side. I can't tell you how much that means to me, being there for me. (Piper speeding around room) Phoebe (about Dr. Williamson)-Well, his bedside mannors could use some work. Leo to Piper-I don't want to lose you. Jack-Are you out of your mind. Leo-Now that I'm a mortal I'm gonna fight for you. May the best man win. Animal Pragmatism Professor-The lions mated on average once an hour for a week straight. Phoebe-There's a party tommarrow night. You should come. Pigman (sees hotdogs)-How could you do this to him? (throws hotdogs) Run, run my brothers! Phoebe (about what Piper got Dan)-Oh honey. Is that what he got you? I mean it's nice and all, just a little impersonal. Piper-Why don't they make a card that says 'You used to be my whiteliter and now your wings are clipped and you're sleeping in my club.' Piper-Anbout tonight... Prue-How are we doing on that spell? Phoebe-The good news is the spell worked. Piper-I don't have a permit for this kind of party. Phoebe-Rome wasn't bulit in a day. Phoebe (to animals)-I would like you all to know that I am a vegetarian. I have never eaten any of you. Prue-Why do I have to carry the poisoness snake? Leo's card-Piper, when we first met you thought I was just a handy man. Well, I am a handy man again. The same guy you fell in love with. Same guy who fell in love with you for who you are. Remember that I'm not giving up. Pardon My Past (Dan Leaves) Phoebe-This is so embarressing. I haven't needed my big sister to walk me to school since the first grade. Dan-I hope I'm not interupting anything. Piper to Dan-Trust me, you don't need to worry about Leo; he's an angel. Phoebe (about past life)-I was bad. I was very, very bad. Phoebe (about past life)-Feeling very, very bad. (pause) OK, I liked it. It felt good to be respected and powerful. Phoebe (about old power)-That's too bad because it was hot. Literally. Piper-You saw Dan? Christina to Phoebe-You broke my dolly! Leo-Who strangled the evil witch? Phoebe (at retirement home)-Well, bright side-at least I'll never end up at a place like this in my golden years. Piper (about Christina)-Is she OK? Phoebe-Thanks you guys for saving my life. All of them. (Doorbell) Prue-It's just when you turn bad things tend to catch on fire. Phoebe-But it's ok to be bad sometimes, right? Give Me A Sign (Prue takes picture of herself in the mirror) (Phoebe in the bathroom writing spell) Phoebe-Uh...no...I'm in the bathroom. Who writes spells in the bathroom? Morris-I got bad news and I got worse news. Which do you want first? Delivery man-I got a sign here for Piper Halliwell. Piper-Delivery man said he got a sign. Leonardo's beautique in Bodega Bay. Leo short for Leonardo, Bodega Bay, where Dan is from. Lipvact-To find a mortal, all you need is to follow their heart. That is where they always escape to. Prue-You can either take your pants off on your own, or I can do it by force. TV reporter-The mariners lost to the Angels 8 to 7. Bane-It's been a long time since anyone has believed in me. Prue-I've been thinking that dreams are just that, dreams. Prue-This view is amazing. Prue-What are you doing here? Prue-Thank you for saving my life. Prue-He thanked me for changing his life. Prue-So, what was the outcome-Dan or Leo? Murphy's Luck Phoebe to Piper-Stop trying to redict the future, alright? That's my job. Piper-What would I do without you? Maggie-Two angels, wow. Maggie-I am able to give, I'm a able to help people. I haven't been able to that in a while. Maggie-It was like I was cursed. Dan (on the phone)-You miss me? Piper-We can find a way to make this work. Somehow, someway. How To Make A Quilt Out Of Americans Amanda-We've been chanting for 15 minutes. (Piper Complaining about being a witch) Prue-Have you contacted the police? Piper-Are you squinting? Gale-You must be really powerful witches. Prue-There is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing glasses. I wear them. Amanda-More tea girls? Phoebe-Just because he has our powers, it doesn't nessessarily mean he knows how to use them. Phoebe-Besides, do you have a better idea? Piper-I'm only doing this for you guys, and if I die I'm gonna haunt the both of you forever. Piper-Wanna see what does freeze? (Freezes Cryto) (Cryto explodes) Phoebe-Well, I'm always gonna wanna be a witch. Chick Flick Prue (Takes picture of Piper)-I think I'll call this women pretending not to look out the window. Piper-I know, I just feel like Dan got the short end of the stick. Prue-And the house is a mess, again. How come we can't fight the demon of clensliness, of the demon of house cleaning. Or even that big bald guy, Mr. Clean, I would so totally take him on. Piper-You can do your homework, pick the right resteraunt, the perfect wine, waiting and chilled but it helps if you show up. Dan (at resteraunt)-Amelia, this is Leo and Piper. (Accordian player starts playing) Piper-I just wanted tonight to be perfect. Prue (about Finley)-He just seems so giving and warm. Phoebe-Will someone please tell me what's up with guys? (Leo orbs in) Demon of Illusion (in movie)-I should have known the disappearing demon act wouldn't fool you for long. (Billy staring at Phoebe from in movie) Billy-Is there a point in this scene when someone explains my part to me? Billy-Where's the music? Prue-Phoebe, maybe you should do something with Billy. You know, ass a little techni-color to him. (Finly in door of manor) Demon-Now, ladies and gentlemen, let's make your PG lives rated R. Billy-It's ok, I like to hear what you think. Billy-I think you're swell, Phoebe. Phoebe (yells down to Prue, who is with Finly)-Oh, well, I really need to DEMONstrate something for you. Finly-I found what's wrong with your work, Halliwell. Absolutely no depth. Piper-It wasn't much of a date last night, wanna find some seats in the back and makeout before demon hunting? (Demon puts spell on audience) Phoebe-Wait a minute, this Paul Bunyon with a lobotomy, he's frm Axe Husband. I saw it last week. Piper-I'm being stalked by a psycho killer and I hide in the shower?! Phoebe-So, maybe, this is the only way the pyschos know how to die, is how they were killed on screen Phoebe (to Bloody Mary)-We have got to do something about that complextion. Piper (Looks at messy attic)-Does anyone else get sick of cleaning up after these guys? Billy-It's ok, the man is here to save the day. Piper-It's over. (Morris at door) Piper-You mean go into the movie? Can we even write a spell for that? Phoebe (in the black & white movie)-Check me out, I'm retro. Piper-Ewwww...it tastes like ass...(Billy gives her a look)...phault. Demon-So, these are the mighty Charmed Ones? Ooo...watch me run in fear! Prue-You can love the work but not the man. Piper-What if you love them both? Phoebe (to Billy)-Thank you for restoring my faith in the male species. Leo (about date)-I especially like the look on your face when the accordian player broke out in that song. Phoebe to Prue (about Finly)-Did you get to tell off the demon on crankiness today? Phoebe (very overjoyed about Prue's gift)-I love it! I'm going to go watch it right now! (Goes running off) Ex Libris (Leo orbs in) Leo (in shower)-Piper, could use pass me a towel? Prue?! Leo-Whiteliter pay sucks. Phoebe to Piper-How about you take this ghost, and I'll take the next two ghosts? Dan to Piper-You know, I'm still here for you; I'm still your frind. Phoebe-Prue, help me get my demon and I promise I'll do everything I can to help you get yours. Piper-Who's that? Charlene-Well, at least if I couldn't please my own father, I could please someone elses. Astral Monkey Phoebe to Piper-An angel brought you back to life, trust me, you're curred. Piper-Prue, you don't think Leo lives here, do you? Leo (to Phoebe, cleaning out Piper's closet)-Ever done it on a cloud? Phoebe-It don't know, does a feather bed count? (Prue Monkey astral projects to where Prue is photographing Evan) Prue-You are never going to believe what happened today. Phoebe-Are you going to tell me why he [Evan] sent you flowers? Prue-BOS. Leo-Dr. Williamson is cosmically screwed. Evan to Prue-You're working the bad boy image. Apocalypse, Not Phoebe-But I gotta hand it to those pesky little demons. They sure have brought us a lot closer together. Prue-I thought you guys went to dinner? Morris-In my professional opinion, the whole city has lost its fricken mind. Phoebe-What just happened? Death-A pentegram, our lucky sign. Strife-It's your standard chant to destroy the common witch. Clearly, you're no common witch. Phoebe-They'll all get to dance another day and what do we get? We saved the whole darn world. The least we could get is a thank you. Be Careful What You Witch For Piper-Phoebe! Piper to Prue-But you don't need Dick. Phoebe-Leave the genie with the cripple. I'm not really in a wishing mood. Prue-What's good? Genie-How about great fortune? Want that? Phoebe-Your job has its limitations. Phoebe (flying)-Piper! I can't get down! I don't know how I got up. Young Prue (Phoebe flying)-That is so totally cool! So, do I get that power when I get old, too? Piper-Are you sure you don't remember anything? About witches? Genies? Dick? (Prue sees Dragon yelling about stolen power) Phoebe-Flying's awesome. It's the landing part that's a bitch. Genie-You're probably a little bit upset? Dragon-Where the hell did you come from? Dan to Piper-Please, just go away. I don't want to know anymore. And I don't want to know anymore about you. Leo-Be careful what you wish for. Prue-And I'm going to work on finding Mr. Right. Not settling for...Dick. Piper to Leo-Take me to your leader.
Season 1: Season 2: Just plain Charmed:
Phoebe-Somewhere between confusing and complicated.
Piper-Betrayed. It's OK, I know the feeling.
Phoebe-Honey, are you still upset with Leo?
Piper-I'm talking abotu Carlton.
Phoebe-I can't keep up.
Piper (sees Morris)-Seems to suck.
(Alan walks away)Prue-The kiss of death.
Morris-Speaking of deadly kisses...
Piper- A Wendigo.
Phoebe-What-ever!
(later)Prue-For your information I do not have man troubles, finacial ones now, but definetly not man troubles.
Piper (looking at Dan out window)-The book?
Prue-Or were you too busy looking at something else?
I was looking, you should see what I found.
Prue (looks out window at Dan)-Oh I see what you found all right.
Prue (in deep voice)-I'm not.
Phoebe-C'mon it's been over an hour. (Whispers to Piper)Do you think she's touching herself?
(Prue walks)
Piper- The man you admire is Richard Simmons?
Dan- I don't know any men like that.
Oh...uh...How about those niners?
Manny- You have no idea.
Dan- What do I look for? I don't know, I'm old fashioned I guess. I look for the girl next door. Someone with a good heart, good personality, and looks to match. The kind of girl that when I leave for work in the morning I wait, just a little but, 'til she leaves for work, too. Just to catch a glimpse of that long dark hair and great smile. Hoping that she'll one day notice that I'm watching and smile back at me.
Manny- Nice truck.
Piper-This is starting to get weird.
Phoebe-Starting to get weird? Where have you been?
Manny-I'm a woman.
Darla- What?!
(Piper and Dan walk in)
Phoebe- No kidding.
Leo-No.
Phoebe-Cool. Well, it was.
Piper-Well, take mine. All it does is gets me in trouble.
Piper- Oh, I'm the snake, but you're the one who...
Leo-No, SNAKE!
Phoebe-Where have I heard that before?
Piper-Leo.
Prue-What, I can't borrow your lipstick?
Piper- I didn't say that Prue, I thought it.
Prue (thinks)-Whatever just learn to share.
Piper- I heard that!
Prue (thinks)- I heard that.
Piper (thinks)- I love you.
Prue (thinks)- Bite me.
Piper- Hey!
Prue (thinks)- We have to go kill a warlock while she gets to sit on some guys...
Phoebe- Hey, hey, hey.
Prue- You heard that?
Phoebe-You think I need a hearing thoughts spell to know what you are thinking?
Piper- He is pissin' me off.
Phoebe (thinks)-Piper!
Phoebe-No, I'm no angel, but I could probably introduce you to one, though.
Prue-You did something incredible.
Piper-Don't you have somewhere to be, somewhere very far away?
Prue-Fine. How's my favorite auction ASS?
Leo-And that you're a witch. Sorry, that was..
Piper-The truth.
Prue-Then we have something in common.
Dan-When I knock at the front door I never seem to make it through the treshold.
Prue-I know, she looks vaugely familier, kind of like a sister we used to have. What was her name?
Prue and Phoebe-Pip? Pippy? Pipe? Pipper? No...
Phoebe-What ever happened to her?
Prue-I don't know. She fell in love with the next door neighbor, started spending all of her time there.
Phoebe-Sh...don't even say it.
Piper-The 13th. See, I said it and nothing happened.
(Bullets start flying through the window)
Phoebe-Well, you know, you were a little sharp to the mailman yesterday, and we all know how testy they can be.
Phoebe-Kick.
Prue-Send flying.
Morris- No thanks.
Phoebe-It's actually really cool. We have this book, it's called the Book of Shadows.
Morris-Too much information, Phoebe.
Phoebe-No, but it's...
Morris-Nothing I want to know about, I'm serious. I don't want to know anything.
Phoebe-C'mon. You don't even want to know if we fly or anything like that?
Morris-I don't even want to know if you own a damn broom, a skillet, a cauldren, a dust buster. I don't give a damn.
Phoebe-More like you're working it.
Phoebe-And then you gave them to me.
Prue-It wasn't just his dark side I was attracted to.
Piper-Stealing things that don't belong to you?
Cupid- You.
Phoebe-I'm picky.
Piper-Unless they are transvestite, Nazi, war criminals with great face lifts I think we got them beat.
Piper-Dan's scum.
Prue-Are you scum?
Piper-No, I'm not.
Cupid-Actually, lover's leap is a reference to suicide.
Piper-Am I supposed to know what you're talking about?
Dan-Don't buy the innocent act, she pulls it all the time.
Dan-Pathetic?
Piper-Oh, I'm sorry. I meant moronic.
Phoebe-Hate, and it's gotta stop.
Phoebe-What?
Dan-Boys will be boys.
Phoebe- (about Dan)-Yes, he is.
Morris-Let me guess, you want to be a meter man?
Phoebe-Absolutely. (pause) I miss him.
Phoebe-I think I found a consequence.
Prue-I don't know, maybe.
Ethan-Why?
Phoebe-Because I'll be there.
Phoebe-Or how about 'You snooze you lose and now I'm getting naked with the neighbor.'
Dan-Tell me you're kidding. Just tell me you're kidding. Let me guess it's something to do with your sisters or maybe you will be vague and say important has come up. Or my favorite of all time, it's a matter of life or death.
Piper-Actually, what I was going to say, if you'd let me, is that I'm running a little late and could you wait for me at the bar.
Phoebe-Youknow you keep throwing that 'we' word around but I don't see you doing anything.
Prue-And the bad news?
Phoebe-The spell worked on everyone.
Piper-But my club was ruined in the blink of an eye.
Piper-Cuz you're the oldest. You'ver lived a full life.
Prue-So, think that's their car over there?
Piper-What, you want me to ask them?
Prue-You know what, you're a smart ass.
Leo-Well, I thougt he would never leave.
Piper-No, we were just...
Leo-Finished.
Prue-That wasn't the only thing that was really hot.
Phoebe-Oh...yeah...Anton was hot, too. Oh, and he was such a good kisser and so good with his hands.
Phoebe-He was your husband. Sorry Leo.
Leo-That's ok. I'm hoping Piper learns from her past mistakes.
Christina-That was my favorite dolly!
Leo (just got punched out)-Yeah, I'm fine thanks for asking.
Leo-Saved by the bell (Dan at door) Or not.
Phoebe-And this is supposed to be making me feel better?
Prue-Oh yeah, a lot.
Prue-Portrait of a dreamer.
Piper-Phoebe, you aren't in there writing a spell for me are you?
Phoebe-Can I see that? LEONARDO's beautique.
Phoebe-Hmm...
Piper-Don't act blonde. You cast that spell didn't you??
Prue-Maybe it is because you stopped believing in yourself.
Bane-I don't believe that.
Bane (looking at Prue)-It's not as good as mine.
Phoebe-We're saving you from the tall dark and naked man!
Prue-I told you guys to stay away.
Phoebe-I see why. He is yummy.
Bane-Thank you for changing mine.
Phoebe-YOu must of been *really good*...
Piper-...Influence on him.
Piper-I never needed a sign to tell me where my heart lies.(looks over at Leo)
Phoebe-Oh, suffer endlessly.
Phoebe-No, I'm just a student.
Phoebe-Maybe you were cursed.
Maggie-I'm sorry, what?
Piper to Leo-No.
Dan-Really?
Piper-Oh, I was talking to the cat.
Leo-I'll hold you that.
Gale-This is a seance, Amanda, not AT&T.
Phoebe-Wicca PMS?
Prue-I have a feeling it's much more than that.
Gale-And tell them what? That I think there's a demon running loose on our streets? They'd think I was crazy.
Piper-Try getting your boots cleaned.
Phoebe (Reading BOS)-No...
Piper-Ah, rub it in.
Phoebe-Yeah, well, you are older. (Piper Laughs) Well, you are.
Prue-You know, I really hope that the Demon of Vanity isn't after you because your soul would be toast.
Phoebe-No thanks. (Amanda pours it in her glass) I'd love some.
(Later Cryto flinging things around with Prue's power)
Piper-So much for him not knowing how to use our powers.
Piper (hopefully)-Go home and call it a day?
Phoebe-Ouch, that looked like it hurt.
Prue-Well, I hope it did for Gale's sake.
Prue-She's young.
Piper-How about girl about to pour hot tea on sister's head?
Prue-There are so many ways I could go with that, but I think I'll just...
Piper-Thank you.
Piper-Amelia, as in someone I just work with Amelia?
Dan-Well, here's your salt.
Leo-Well, at least he isn't pining away.
(Piper freezes restaraunt)
Piper-Is this some kind of test?? (Unfreezes Leo)
Piper-Ok, so, I'd like everything to be normal, but there's only so much a girl can take.
Leo-Well, it was, I was with you.
Finly (in very negative tone)-Can we get started, I'm on a schedule.
Prue-Hi, I'm...um...Mr. Beck, I'm...Prue Halliwell.
Finly (ignoring Prue)-So, when is this photographer blessing us with his presence?
Prue-That would be me.
Finly-You're 12.
Prue-Oh, I'm good.
I'll decide that...why don't you do something useful and get me some tea?
Piper-You don't really expect me to have an answer to that do you?
Phoebe-Ok, so, I have luch with this guy from lab, right? He is totally melotonan guy.
Piper-That bad?
Phoebe-I'm keeping his number in case I have trouble sleeping.
Phoebe-Here I am talking about the shortage of perfect men and in orbs yours.
Piper-I found one of the good guys.
Leo-Unfortunatly, I'm here to talk about the bad guys.
Phoebe-No shortage of those!
Prue-Yeah, all you really did was piss us off.
(Prue trys to use power on demon and it doesn't work)
Demon-Silly Wiccan, tricks are for kids.
Phoebe-I think he's staring at me!
Billy-Hi.
Phoebe-Hi!
Prue-I hate to put a damper on your little love connection here, sis, but we need to kick some ass.
Demon-Oh, is that what you are going to do? Any idea on how you intend to do that? Or are you just going to flirt me to death like your little tardy sister?
Billy-Watch your language in front of the ladies!
Demon-Oh, I'm sorry. Was it the word sister that bothered you? How about bitch? Does that go down easier?
Piper-Phoebe, you brought home the fictious charector as a play date, you tell him.
Phoebe-You're right, we should have left him at the movie theatre, he would have really blended in there.
Phoebe-What music?
Billy-This is around the third second act, right, when everything is about to be explained. Where's the music we're supposed to talk over to build suspense and hide the expostion? Don't you hate the exposition?
Phoebe-Don't even get me started...
Finly-Dark room would be where?
Piper-So, that's Finly?
Prue-My hero.
Finly-Don't mind me, I'm just wondering through your house.
Phoebe-Now, you have to be careful not to say that because every girl will know that you are not for real.
Prue-OK, what is it?
Phoebe-Once you finish your thing and I finish my thing then we really need to go meet Piper and Leo and finish the thing that we saw at the
Prue-Thing?
Phoebe-Yeah, exact-I love you!
Prue-Now would that be the technique or the subject?
Finly-Excuse me?
Prue-I wish I could. Your work meant more to me than you will ever know and because of that I have carried around the illusion of what it would mean to me to meet you and that would make me appreciate your work even more. But now it is so hard to me to even look at your pictures because I think os the man who took them. And it is so devastating to me that the brillance of your eye is completly shattereted by the ignorance of your mouth.
(Photo starts to burn)
Finly-See, that's the thing about art, Ms. Halliwell. If you leave a subject under the light too long, it burns.
Piper-Well, I'm ok, you're ok. Magic perk.
Demon-Didn't you hear the management? Please refraim from talking.
Prue- We so need to monitor your viewing habits.
Piper-How am I supossed to know that? I'm a romantic comedy type. Why go to horror movies when they come to you?!
Prue-Billy, it's the 21st century, it's the women's job to save the day.
Phoebe-Don't ever say that. Everytime someone says that in the movies something always goes (door bell).
Piper-Serious face? It's ok, we're too tired for pleasentries.
Phoebe-I could probably whip up a spell or something.
Prue-Phoebe's pharmesuticals.
Piper-Prue, I don't know what else we can do.
Demon-And you're supposed to be the perky one. You should really try and not be so negative. How does it feel to finally know someone you can't defeat?
Prue-I don't know, you tell me. You know is you leave a subject under the light too long it burns.
Piper-Are you making fun of me?
Piper-Should we worry?
Prue-She's just saying goodbye, I think.
Prue (hugs Piper and whispers)-OK, and ni sex without safe sex.
Prue (enjoying this thoroughly)-Leo?...nice orbs...
Phoebe-My dead friend.
Prue-I know what you mean.
Prue-Well, I mean, yeah-of course he does. But, I mean it's fine. As long as you're happy that's all I really care about, not that I was unhappy when I saw Leo all naked in the shower and...wet...
Leo-Phoebe?! I thought you were Piper.
Prue-What a cute monkey.
Evan- Monkey? (Prue Monkey astral projects back to body) What are you talking about?
Phoebe-Yes, I will. I saw Notting Hill.
Prue-What are you talking about?
Phoebe (points to flowers)-They're from Evan. I hope you know you're stealing my dream man.
Prue-You know, I have no idea.
Phoebe-Huh, and they say the youngest is the most niave.
Piper-Prue, you're back early.
Prue- Yes, that's because a MONKEY astral projected to me on the set today.
Phoebe-A monkey?
Piper-Astral projected?
Prue-Yeah, and it waved at me like it knew me or something. I think it needed my help.
Phoebe-Honey, I think you're working way too hard.
Piper-Prue, honey, I don't think monkeys can astral project.
Phoebe-BOS? Oh! Book of Shadows...
Prue-Yeah, maybe you should write them a thank you note.
Piper-We did, and then for dessert we did some demon hunting.
Piper-I think we just vanquished our siser. Phoebe, we killed Prue.
Phoebe-Piper, stop it, ok? I don't want to hear that.
Piper-Do you think I want to say it? I'm the one who made the potion, Phoebe, it's my fault.
Phoebe-How about having a little faith, alright? Our magic has never let us down before.
Piper-Well, there's a first time for everything, isn't there?
Phoebe-Actually, a pentegram was a fign of good energy until your side stole it.
Phoebe-Thank you.
Phoebe-Why does everyone always Phoebe me?
Dick-Ceaser's fine. Pasta's fine. Fish is fine. Steak is...
Prue-Fine?
Dick-Yeah, actually, how did you know?
Prue-Wild...guess. What have I gotten myself into??
Phoebe-After taxes? Not worth it.
Genie-Yeah, well, so does yours. (Looks at injured ankle)
Phoebe-Occupational hazard.
Piper-All right, let's get some things straight. We are not old, we are just older than you for some reason.
Prue-No, but it sound totally bitchin'. (Flips through BOS). This is such a cool book. What is it?
Piper-I'll tell you when you're older.
Young Prue-Oh my God! Who's the hottie?!
Piper-No, I've moved past upset and right to PISSED OFF!
Genie-No, that's where you can from.
Phoebe-Oh, I am a reformed wish-a-holic.
The Book of Shadows/Episode Guide/ Quotes/Charmed Trivia/
Episode Guide/Quotes/The Book Of Shadows/Season Two Trivia
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