In case you didn't notice...Welpers, howdya like it? didn't take
me as long as thought it would.. I'm talking about modifying all my pages..
now they look semi-decent.. all I need is more grafix.. that would satiate
my tastes.
The hounds! I hear them coming forthward! Jack asked me why I
come to my work and what I do here.. I had to tell the truth (I have this
thing about lying, if I start, I can't stop) so I told him that I was working
on a web page.. I think that I surprised him in that he was probably expecting
me to say that I was downloading nudies, since we joke about it so often..
Using the designing web page excuse bought me enough time to get out so
that he couldn't ask me what it was about, or what I was putting on it..
I changed the URL so that it starts from a "journal index, but then
again, if you're reading this, you probably knew about that. I'm hoping
that doing this will buy me some time so that by the time that he finds
this URL, we'll already have moved out. It's not that I don't want him
to see what I've written about HIM, it's more about me not wanting him
to know what I wrote about others.
The God thing, oh yeah. I'd told myself to write about the God
thing, so that way it could be out in the open.
Proof. My reasons for not believing in God stem from my lack
of proof. I know, I know, there can never be any proof. And that's what
I've come to accept, just like xtians believe that there can never be any
proof about the existence of God, and how one must have FAITH. Well, I
have faith that there is no God. (I capitalize the G for respectful reasons,
there's no need to be rude about one's beliefs) I've found in my life that
it is really difficult for me to understand anything that I can't visualize..
and God is one of them. I can't see Him, therefore, I cannot believe in
Him, it's that simple for me.
Evolution. Evolution isn't perfect either.It's full of falsehoods,
assumptions, and imagination, but it's more concrete for me. I am able
to see that mutations making creatures either better/worse to adapt to
survive will pass their genes on to their offspring, and depending on whether
thegenes allow the offspring to make more offspring before they are killed,
than that is what will succeed. I believe that mutations can exist becuz
they're imperfections, and this is an imperfect world. There is not one
thing in this world that is perfect, and I don't believe that God is either.
What if? well, some ppl have asked me, what if there is a God?
I'm afraid that I must say that I was wrong, but I still don't think that
I would want to worship a God who allows such terrible things happen to
his followers. So far as I can tell, bad things happen to believers just
as often as they happen to non-believers, and by bad things I'm referring
to things that my insurance company would refer to as an "Act of God."
If I do meet God, there are a number of things that Iwould love to ask
Him. Things ranging from: "Why are you so conceited?" to "Don't
you know that you can never destroy Satan? It's impossible, there is no
way to have good and evil seperated." If I can't meet God, perhaps
I'll bribe St. Peter with a few nudie mags and some Tequila to let me talk
to Him, after all, Saints were human, and humans can't stop from sinning..
(-:
The Three. Not the Son, the Father and the Holy Ghost, no I'm
referring to: an explanation of where we came from, a set of moral codes
to live by, and a moral crutch when we need help.
The Explanation allows us to grasp (no offense, but in what I feel is
a primitive instinct) where we came from. I say that it's primitive in
that it's rather similar to the beliefs that Native American, and other
indigenous ppls believed in (The xtians called the Indians primitive, I
was merely using the word). They all believe that there's a God(s) that
created us, the world, and the universe... if you look at it from that
vantage point, the xtians seem similar to the ppls that they called "primitive
heathens." I don't think that this is coming our right, but I sense
a hypocrisy and a paradox in that they call other ppls primitive, yet practice
a similar worship. Same soda, different name.
a set of moral codes to live by refers basically to the Ten Commandments
and parts of the Bible. I agree that there are a lot of rules that are
good, but I'm also finding (never having been raised with Jesus) that I'm
able to come to the same conclusion, without learning from other ppl, nor
the Bible. I find thru my own analysis of my world just how I think things
are sposed to work. Not to say that I'm always right, but part of the intersting
thing of life is to figure it out yourself. I've always been that way,
and I'd have to say that's always been the most interesting part of my
life. I feel bad for ppl who have things spoon-fed about how they're sposed
to act, or think or love or whatever, they don't live life, they live what
other ppl have told them to live like. I know anumber of ppl like that,
and I pity them. there are xtians that I know that aren' t like that, don't
get me wrong, but of the pppl that I've met in general, they don't know
how to experiment, In my opinion. I could be wrong. I do feel that the
moral codes shouldn't completely govern your life, only provide guidance,
like lines painted on the street, you don't have to follow them _wherever_
they go, otherwise you'll end up somewhere you never expected.
The moral crutch reference is how I feel about some ppl that use God.
Mind you, I'vebeen taught all my life to be independent, to fight for what
you want, and not use anyone. I've taken that to heart, and I've carried
it into my beliefs of God. I don't need God to support me, I can do it
just fine. If I were to pray, I know I would feel like I'm leaving a message
on an answering machine, and God will get back to me whenever he damn well
feels like it. when I need answers, I need it now, and I've always been
there for me. So far as I can tell from what the general populace says,
no one has spoken to God since the Bible ended. There have been ppl who
say that they've talked to Jesus, but they are always laughed at by others..
how hypocritical can you get? You tell ppl that they can talk to God whenever
they want, but the one time that God feels like stretching his vocal cords,
his followers get laughed at.. maybe that's why he doesn't talk to ppl,
he doens't want to be laughed at.. dunno, just what I think.
I think I'm tired of talking about the whole God thing.. it was cool
for the first 5 years, but things got old after discussions with ppl turned
into arguments, and when we parted, nothing had been accomplished since
we'd both talked abou tthings that we'd heard before.. there was no new
information exchanged.. Now I avoid the conversation all together, I put
a defense, and I get really defensive when ppl start talking to me about
God.. that let's them know that I don't want to talk about it., and I let
them know exactly where I stand, and that nothing they say will change
my mind, and nothing I say will change theirs.
By the looks of it, it's time to go to bed.
