Where are the days going? (sigh) I'm getting old, and my life is passing
in front of my eyes...ah well.
What? Life is good??!? Why didn't anyone tell me? Yes, I must
say, life is good right now... except that I have to pee.. BRB, hang on
a min.
back. just an aside right now. I was thinking.... yes I do that sometimes...
but anyways, I was thinking how I believe that all ppl, females, esp. should
know about Bathroom Conduct in Mens' rooms. I could write an entire
thesis on this alone... I've observed thru my many years of being a male,
that there are a set of unwritten rules governing conduct in a Men's room.
I don't care who you are, you could be the most laid-back person in the
world, but once you go thru those doors, a certain amount of machoness
overcomes every male. NOTE: all of these rules apply only to crowded
public restrooms.
Overview. There is a certain amount of etiquitte regarding the
urinals. There are 2 types of urinals that exist: the kind you can hide
yourself with, and the free-viewing type. The difference depends on whether
there are walls included in the scenario. The brown Steelcase or Formica
walls that prevent others from viewing one's little friend can be an ego-saver.
Without the walls, the viewing or non-viewing depends on the shape of the
urinal. Restroom Etiquette also requires that one looks straight ahead,
either reading the name of the company (Swisher, Kohler, American Standard,
etc.) or read the grafitti, or should there be no grafitti, try to count
how many ceiling tiles are in the restroom. Never, ever glance left and
right, this will cause extreme agitation in the other patrons, and may
result in depression, depending on who feels the most insecure about themselves..
The 3 urinals and 1 toilet situation.Regardless of whether the
urinal is either of the above, should a male walk into a restroom of greater
than 3 urinals, the first male will always take either on the end. I have
hypothesized that this is to prevent the remote chance of another male
who should happen to walk in to notice the size of the man's unit. Now,
should another male come to urinate, he will either a) take the other end,
or b) use one of the toilet stalls. I have yet to figure out why the latter
is so. I'm assuming that this is the furthest that the male can move from
the other male as to prevent an accidental glimpse/comparison. This prevention
is not only to prevent the bruising of the subject's ego, but also as a
consideration for the other male, should the subject's soldier be slightly
more "worked out."
I have also come to reason that there is a remaining scent of homophopbia
that plays a role in the decision of which urinal to use. I believe that
it is on the downfall with the sexual revolution, but it does linger, particularly
in sporting event or sports bar environments.
The Greater than 3 urinals, 1 toilet, and 4 men phenomenon. In
the case of 3 urinals and 1 toilet, should 3 men happen to converge on
the same restroom, an interesting phenomenon occurs. Now with the case
of above, the 3rd man will use the urinal on the end becuz he has noticed
that the toilet stall is currently being used. Should a fourth and unsuspecting
male walk in to use the restroom, he will notice that there is only one
more urinal left. Regardless of his need to urinate, he will find some
way to stall the time to wait for one of the others to finish. He will
look in the mirror, or clean out his pockets of lint, or other change;
he will even wash his hands to remove some form of pseudo-dirt, but he
will never take the middle urinal. Public restroom etiquette governs that
if he does, he will forever be regarded as a) potential homosexual, or
b) a wuss who can't hold his pee in until one of the others are finished...
Well, i could go on, but i need to sleep, I have test tomorrow and Ich
muss' mehr Deutsch lernen.
Oh, skanking at The Living Room was fun, but it makes me uncomfortable
when 14 year olds hit on me.. (-8 j/k, The Living Room was full of them
tho, and they wanted me, oh yeah, they wanted me real bad... "I love
High School girls, I get older and they stay the same age...." -that
one guy on Dazed and Confused.. (-8
I never did finish my story, ah well. I'll save it for another date.
It involved Marie.
