Sullivan Street
Poems A-F
Driving and You
Tall, dark, and self assured
son of a wealthy doctor
mostly left-lane driver as you
live your life of danger--
No turn signals as the rain pours
down to drench your anger.
Scared stiff and caged inside
these walls were built to hold you
keep you caged, downright enraged for
you have lost your vision.
Every night you cry yourself to
to sleep and wake up searching.
Another December Morning
(This poem is written about the death of John Lennon)
Another December morning.
My son is watching television, probably Sesame Street again.
I like the way he laughs when Bert and Ernie argue
over petty things
like who can count to 4.
1-2-3-4.
Imagine that.
Lifting my worn body out of bed
she softly breaths as I go to relieve myself.
"Water" she wrote, and it was love.
My boy looks me in the eye as I walk outside the kitchen door
to have a smoke before walking to the studio.
"I love you Sean, be good for your mother."
Another December morning.
Fishing Accident
Karen took my can of corn
and so I went off looking
for more from Father with my brother
all their fishes hooking.
When I found a place to sit
not to far from my father
I sat upon a stream-side rock
and dipped my feet in water.
Karen caught a wiggling fish
and so I stood to look.
A slip, a splash, and I was one
wtih water and my hook!
Empty Room Syndrome
Tuesday driving while
Midnight comes and goes
within a minute
and I'm letting you go because you
are to blame
and learning to adjust
will be difficult
but breathing in was never easy either
way you look at it
and you should have known by now that
you can't wash heaven out of an angel
even if she occasionally has
a pack of smokes
amazing how empty a house can get
after the party has left.
Amazing how empty it feels
because you were the party.
America's Youth:1999
White bred Cobain kids
Mercedes Benz with CD changers
children of the Power Rangers
pop open Prozac lids.
Emily
"Trying to be a good girl and give them what they want..."
---Counting Crows
Emily is driving
away from this place
as the drivers side window whistles
with the cold air coming in
cigarette seeps out
thoughts mixing all around...
Emily is wondering
just where she should go
to heaven then hell and back
again and again
until its time to turn around
go around
plan around
sleep around
and fight this with dignity.
Emily's been crying
again and again
living off raincoats
and boys that are friends.
Living in the past until
the headlights flicker off
in the parking lot stones
keep up the dreaming because
its sometimes all she has left.
Cheer up Karly
"In between the moon and you the angels get a better view of the crumbling differences between wrong and right."
---Counting Crows
Friday night brought
lawn gnomes and pink flamingos
dancing on your grandmothers front yard--
those alley pharmacuticals helped
you to feel better fast--
before kindergarten watching the buses of
big kids going by while candy wrappers fly out of
our pockets to land in the dust on the side of the
road where business men are rushing to get to work--
radios blast the 80's and talk shows
gabbing about affairs,
gabbing about last nights scores
gabbing about somebody else
to take the attention off of themselves--
the kickball game stopped early when
I fell and skinned my knee while
you pulled away the jumprope from a hispanic girl
who didnt belong--
you pulled away the water pipe
and kept it for your own--
you pulled away from reality
the day we walked the traintracks and you
fell sobbing to the ground
"The trees will attack me!" you cried
and I looked around, there were no trees,
no grass, no flowers,
just stones and ripped up railroad spikes
from where the Mafia kept their secrets--
and I try to make you smile but you never do.
Cheer up Karly,
cant you focus on the better parts
your hair is beautiful
and your shoes that cost 35$
have lasted the past three years--
purple rainclouds and My Little Ponys
Winnie the Pooh backpacks with erasers in the
front pocket shaped just like two Scottie Dogs
one black and one white--
making tunafish sandwhiches
out of catfood and salad dressing
disgustingly creative
in this imperfect world--
total conversation immersed
in "Yes's", "No's" and "Maybe So's"--
Karly, I keep hoping that
you'll come back around---
houses begin to look dimmer now from the van
blurry, shaded, even cardboard
as you fall down again--
cheer up Karly
it will be over soon.
Five Furies
"I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower, makes you talk a little lower about the things you could not show her."
---Counting Crows
I.
They were halfway to the mall when
a gust of wind mixed with the snow
and shoved the car off the road
like a toy
turned over---
It was almost forty-five minutes before
the ambulance arrived to find
the five of them in one mangled body
mixed with the heavy metal music
still playing from the stereo.
The dark featured paramedic shook her head
and wondered why anyone
would let their child drive
on a night like that.
II.
I pull the tea bags in and out
like marionettes they dance before me
jerked motions in the boiling water
jumping to escape their scorching.
This afternoon I walked a quarter of a mile in the snow to see him
and upon entering the bedroom
there he was, intertwined with a girl
that my Grandmother would have called "That kind".
Now I know exactly what she means
as I take a sip and burn my tongue
which once entered his mouth.
III.
On the bus ride home we sit in the back four seats
us "popular kids" are laughing and talking about last weekend---
Who got drunk, and who passed out
who likes who, and who hooked up with who
and who is throwing a party because their parents will be in Hawaii.
The ugly girl a few rows ahead stares out the window
remembering the swim meet and how the boys made fun
of her by yelling "Go Shamu!"
during her only race, in which she placed last.
I was watched by her as the boys flirted
and she wouldn't cry to show us
she was vulnerable.
IV.
The apartment smells of day-old pizza
and the drum-set in the corner sits apart from
garbage scattered around on the floor---
I tap the cymbal and he smacks my hand
with a rolled up car-parts magazine--
"Don't touch it, bitch, you'll break it!
Do you know how much that cost?"
Sulking in the corner like a dog
I listen to those boys talk---
"We need another drummer."
I nurse the top of my hand.
Swollen.
They plan the order of what to play
then yell at me to run to the supermarket
and get them more matches and Marlboro Lights.
V.
She stopped taking the pills they had purchased
the day he told her that
he would be leaving in August, unattached
and ready to play the field of girls
which he had been missing for over two years.
The next time that they made love
she knew what would happen
as she kept on rocking with his rhythm
and when they were done, she smiled to herself
for now there would be a reason for him to stay.
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