Thanks Klinton

THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES, KOMRADE KLINTON

The Legacy of the First King of the United States

First, thanks for showing us that SOCIALISM IS ALIVE 
AND WELL and that most Americans are asleep at the wheel.

Thank you for breeding diviseness between racial groups
and pitting those groups against one another so that 
the nation is more separated now than since the Civil 
War.

Thank you for taking the heat off your sorry ass by 
spending money stolen from hardworking Americans every 
April 15 so you can send Tomahawk missiles to Belgrade 
to kill innocent Serbs for the actions of their leader.

Thanks also for giving China the chance to "re-unify" 
with Taiwan. 

Thank you, Oh King Klinton, for showing us that 
obstructing justice and committing perjury are "OK" as 
long as you have an "OJ jury" full of socialists behind
you.

Thanks to King Bill for attempting to censor the 
internet and for trying to install a V-chip in all our
TVs.

Thanks to the King of the US for the highest rate of 
taxation since WW2 while managing to decimate all 
branches of our Armed Forces.

Thank you for reminding us that the government that 
gave us the Internal Revenue Service and The Welfare 
State also lusts for control of the greatest healthcare
system in the world. (You want a look at government 
healthcare? - go take a peek at your local VA or County
Hospital.)

Thanks to King Klinton for putting our soldiers in 
harm's way in over 140 countries while one still can 
not safely walk the streets of any major city. Oh yeah,
100,000 more cops? Ha-ha!

Thank you for reminding me that the FBI, which has 
files on millions of Americans, including myself, can 
give those files to Larry Flynt and other people 
powerful enough to demand them.

Thank you for giving us a King who supports 
partial-birth abortions.

Thank you for demonizing and disarming law-abiding 
gun-owners.

Thank you for introducing us to Gennifer Flowers, 
Paula Jones,Monica Lewinski, Juanita Broaddrick and 
about two dozen other names that we might not have met 
and known otherwise.

Thank you for leading the charge in the War on Tobacco 
- penalizing smokers and a legitimate industry so that 
Hillary's brother and other extortionists could make 
millions from these ridiculous lawsuits.

Thank you for allowing a war hero and the author of one
of the most successful military campaigns in history to
leave the presidency because, no matter how successful 
he was, we, in all our moral outrage, just wouldn't 
tolerate someone who would lie to the American people 
by promising "no new taxes" and then going back on his 
word. We certainly can't have a liar in the White House,
now can we?

Thank you for being a leader who discusses his choice 
of underwear with teenagers. We always wondered if 
presidents wore boxers or briefs.

Thanks for giving me a quick litmus test to see if 
someone's a complete and utter fucking moron:Did you 
vote for Klinton? 

Thanks for showing us that it's OK for YOU, the King, 
to get your salami smoked while on the job while we, 
the PEASANTS, can get fired for putting up a suggestive
picture in our cubicle at work.

Thank you for showing all the men and women in America 
that sexual harassment in the workplace, and on the job, 
is okay as long as it involves powerful middle-age 
executives and the young women half their age under 
their power. It is, after all, a "private matter."

Thank you for revealing that the agenda of the 
National Organization of Women only includes some women. 
Women like Anita Hill and not women like Paula Jones, 
Monica Lewinski, et. al.

Thank you for allowing us to come to the realization 
that "sexual relations" is not clearly defined. After 
all, "It all depends on what the meaning of the word 
IS is."

Thank you for re-introducing the concept of 
"impeachment" to a new generation that missed the 
discussion surrounding it the last time it was brought 
up.

Thank you for curing me of my addiction to network 
news, CNN, MSNBC, most major newspapers and all the 
other propaganda outlets.

Thanks for your supporters who have showed their true 
colors: Robert DeNiro, Alec Baldwin, Geraldo Rivera, 
Tim Robbins, Susan Sarandon, Dildo Dershowitz, 
Barbra Streisand, Whoopi Goldberg and all those other 
sickening ELITISTS.

Thank you for reminding us that, when all is said and 
done, "CHARACTER" really, really DOES matter.

Thank you, oh King, for blocking the mining of coal 
reserves in Utah so that the Indonesians and Lippo Bank
could bring their coal to the US and slip a few dollars
into your pocket.

Thank you, Komrade Bill, for allowing missile 
technology and other secrets to be sold to the ChiComs 
in exchange for influence in the Democratic Party. 

Thank you for making Jimmy Carter look competent. 
Thank you for making Richard Nixon look honest. Thank 
you for making Lyndon Johnson look truthful. Thank you 
for making John Kennedy look moral. Thank you for 
making Al Gore look positively presidential. Thank you 
for reminding us of the importance of term limits. And 
really, thank you not once, but twice! Why, if not for 
YOU, instead of the current interesting discussion all 
over the television networks and newspapers, we would 
be focused on a whole slew of trivial matters such as 
our national defense, nukes and the starvation deaths 
of at least 2 million people in North Korea, a civil 
war in Serbia, genocide in Africa, the containment of 
terrorism, and all those other boring topics.

Here's a few things that have happened during King 
Klinton's administration:

72 House and Senate witnesses have plead the fifth.
17 witnesses have fled the country to avoid testifying.
19 foreign witnesses that have refused to be interviewed 
   by US investigative bodies.
19 charges from Whitewater investigations.
14 convictions from Whitewater investigations.
8 imprisonments from Whitewater investigations.
55 total charges in all Klinton scandals.
32 total convictions (so far) in all Klinton scandals.
14 total imprisonments (so far) in all Klinton scandals.
938 overnight stays at the White House for Klinton 
    supporters.
$40 million - cost of Klinton's trip to China with 
    over 1100 members of the Royal Court.
$12 billion (yes billion) on the mission to Bosnia.
$2 billion for our military's Haiti vacation.
62 House of Representative seats that have changed from
   Demo- Socialist to Republican.
12 Senate seats that have changed from Demo-Socialist 
   to Republican.
13 Governorships that have changed from Demo-Socialist to Republican.
1,200 state legislative seats that have changed from 
   Demo- Socialist to Republican.
353 elected Demo-Socialists who have switched parties 
   since King Klinton took office.

Yes, it's been an interesting six years for "the most 
ethical administration in the history of the Republic."
But then everybody knows it's ALL the fault of the
"vast right-wing conspiracy." But look at the bright 
side - you flew around the world at your whim, bopped 
some chicks, played a lot of golf, destroyed the greatest 
country in the history of the planet and didn't even 
have to pick up the tab.

It's sad but the only positive thought your tenure 
leaves me is the pleasure I'll get when I join that 
long line of peasants waiting for you to drop dead of 
a painful disease so we can piss on your grave. 
See you in HELL Komrade Bill!