It's been six months since I started writing Not
My Aisle and as that's a nice round number (actually it's round with a pointy thing
sticking out of it), I thought I'd take an opportunity to reflect on some of the things
that have happened as a result of my...well, big mouth.
Recently, I had the opportunity of sitting in on a taping of Being Gay Today which,
since most people use Public Access as a cure for insomnia, is the Access Cable show on
Channel 73. While waiting for the show to begin the host, Joanna Cassese, came over and
talked to each person in the audience. When she got to me and I told her I wrote a column
for Mom...Guess What Newspaper, she paused a second and said "I hope it's
not that one, there's one guy that's usually on page three and he really bothers me."
...Well isn't that special?
So I asked her what it was that bothered her so much. It turned out to be the
fourth column I wrote called "Take Me To Your Leaders." She commented
(and since I didn't have a pen I am paraphrasing) that the leaders in our community
volunteer themselves to be put in the line of fire and instead of constantly having to put
up with personal attacks, they should be given the respect they deserve for sticking the
neck out for our community. (end paraphrasing here). Well, I agree. Joanna's 100% right.
But does that mean if they're corrupt, we're just supposed to look the other way because
it may reflect negatively on the community. The hard questions shouldn't be asked because
the het community may not buy our picture without the frame to cover those frayed edges.
A good example: on the episode of Being Gay Today that was being taped,
the topic was about Gay and Lesbian foster parents. In it, a question was asked "have
children ever had to be removed from a G/L household because of neglect or abuse" and
it was considered to be a hot potato question. No one wanted to ask, no one wanted to
tell. It's understandable since we're fighting the uphill battles of obtaining custody and
adoption rights. But what are we supposed to do - turn our heads and leave the kids in
question living in filth? Sweep them under the rug so we'll be able to say every G/L has a
perfect parenting record?
Moving on...my third column, "Advocate, Out, Genre: Can
You Say Irresponsible?" got to be quite the hot potato question itself as Out
and Genre Magazines were quite ticked off when I dared point out they may not be
as wonderful as they thought everyone thought they were. I set out merely to point out the
lack of safe sex and condom ads in their publications and suddenly found myself being
referred to as "Counter Productive", being lectured to about the history of gay
advertising and being pretty much talked down to like a naughty child.
Richard Settles, Founder/Publisher of Genre magazine had the nerve to say
"Advertisers choose us, we do not chose them." So I s'pose if NAMBLA came along
with a full page ad of a naked boy, Ol' Dick would say "well, they chose us, we
didn't chose them." That's a bullshit cop out and anyone with half a brain knows it.
No one had many comments about cloning or movies or Montel Williams - the term
preaching to the choir pops to mind. But one woman, a self-proclaimed Lesbian and Feminist
took great offense at a lowly gay boy, daring to ponder lesbian issues. If I knew what it
was I said that was so offensive...I'd say it again. Was I wrong? Did I lie? Do you have
penis envy? Instead of a personal attack on me, how about telling everyone the reason you
were so pissed? Have you actually read any of the columns you mention - aside from the
titles?
Who appointed me defender and spokes person of lesbian issues you ask? It happened
during the last meeting of A.L.F.A.L.F.A. (American Legion of Feminists And Lesbians For
Acceptance). I was nominated by Janet Reno (oops! The cat's out of the bag!) and seconded
by Judy Tenuda. The swearing in was quite lovely - you should have been there. I never
thought of using combat boots as decoratives.
And as far as my family being half wits...what's your point? If someone had told me
six months ago that Not My Aisle would have pissed so many people off in such a
short amount of time - I would have enjoyed it a little more.
Joanna Cassese told me she almost wrote a letter in response to "Take Me
To Your Leaders." I asked why she didn't and she listed several reasons
including how things come up that make you forget. Well, she may have forgotten to write,
but she remembered what I said. Out and Genre probably wouldn't know
where Sacramento was on a map of Northern California, much less MGW. But I bet
they remember that one column. And have you noticed the condom/safe sex ads that pop up
from time to time? And Alice Dorchester, Feminist and Lesbian spokes person elect (I'm
nominating you for Relations Minister in the Middle East,) spoke up...and while she may
not have actually said anything, she still took that action.
Now the question is...what are you doing? |
