Disclaimer: I got the idea for this fanfic after a recent thread on the Thunderbolts Message Board. It's a parody of Reservoir Dogs and Thunderbolts, and in some cases is a blatant (or nearly blatant) rip-off of one or the other. The characters used are copyright Marvel Comics, and are used without permission. It is set around the time of issue #10 of Thunderbolts, with a few modifications to the Marvel storyline that will be made clear as the story progresses. And before anyone comments, yes, I realize that the Heroes' Return took place in 1997 well before certain events I reference probably took place, but heck, that's never stopped Marvel comics from doing the same, so get over it.
Oh, and it helps to envision Techno as being played by Steve Buscemi.
Chapter 1: I Dream of Christina