Do Not Feed Monkeys

There are 2 kinds of people in this world: one, the kind that just takes what comes around, be it a fine piece of ass or a walking human-choad; and two, the kind that stays home the whole time watching TV complainin bout the world's problems and thinks that by being a flawless, stuckup (oh, the irony), and defensive little dipshit, their "mean world syndrome" will protect them from the evils of the world.

Still don't know who the hell I'm talkin bout? Read on. Last weekend, me and some friends ran into Jessica Simpson in a bar in Westwood...but would she talk to me or my friends? No, of course not, not because she already has tons of guys around her and has more than a First Union bank permanently lodged up her ass, nor because I'm Asian and have black pubic hair nestled comfortably above the shaft of my penis instead of the conventional brown or blonde color, but strictly because I'm not from her little circle of friends, and because of that she holds us outsiders in no regard...

I mean, Jesus Christ, I'd at least have to be like her brother to ride her photogenic ass, so what's the goddamn point? And lord, they dress so skanky--shirt with holes, pants showin ass (like they're askin for u to spank it), but do they want some real action---no, o'cose not, cuz they're not ready to and want to stay a preppy little virgin til their 25. She wouldn't give you head even if she was stuck in a desert with you and was bout to die of thirst. She wouldn't even chat with you, even if you looked gay and popular like that Titanic kid, only if you know her since like the time she was a kid before she had any breast-milk will you two ever have a chance at being together, and I'm afraid for like 4-billion-minus-20 people in this world, that's already too late.

Just letting the world know, for once, that rules and conventions don't matter with people like me. Rules and conventions are made to be broken. Lot of hungry monkeys out there.