I stare at the phone,
That dead,
White plastic,
Taunting me with its silence.
I pick it up,
Check that the line is good,
Then slam it down,
What if you called-
What if you called that moment,
That second
And my ear was on the line,
Making sure it was good,
While you recieved a busy signal.
What if I missed hearing your voice
Because I didn't trust that you would call?
The alarm clock
Sitting on my bed,
Glares green evidence
That an hour has gone by,
That the day I felt waiting
Was a mere hour.
I pace between the phone
And the clock,
My hands kneading,
I crack my knuckles
More times than I should.
Grandma said I would get arthritis
If I kept cracking my knucles.
I place my hands behind my back,
And stare at the phone.
I pick it up again,
I just have to be sure,
Have faith that it is my phone,
That you do care
And are trying to reach me
As badly as I want to hear
Your voice,
Your reason for not calling,
You say you love me.
I want to run errands,
I'm out of milk,
I need to buy some chicken
For dinner tonight,
I need to get a new light bulb,
I'm out of laundry soap,
The car could use a washing,
I'm low on gas,
And I need to balance my checkbook.
I can't leave,
I can't,
I won't.
You might call,
You might decide
To surprise me,
To show up at my door,
With a dozen roses
And a card
And an "I love you."
If I leave,
I might miss you
And you would get the wrong idea,
The idea that you
Are not important to me,
That I don't love you enough
To wait for you to be late.
I look at those
Green evils,
It has only been 2 minutes
Since my last look,
The phone is still silent,
Defiant,
Hateful,
Meaningless.
I need to do some laundry,
But the laundry
Makes so much noise-
I might not hear the phone.
I need to take a shower-
But the phone
Doesn't reach into the bathroom-
And you might call while I'm in the shower.
God,
I need to pee.
It's been two hours since I went to the bathroom.
But you might call.
The phone doesn't understand,
I need you,
I need you to call,
I need to hear from you,
I have so much to do,
I need you to call,
I need to live my life!