I just realized today that my life sucks and I suck ass. I'm always late on my bills, my friends don't like me, I don't like myself. My boyfriend is in love with another girl, I can't get a date otherwise. Men think I'm ugly. I think I'm ugly. My apartment is a pig sty, my sink is clogged beyond recognition. Most of my clothing is dirty. My sheets haven't been changed in ages. I live in a shitty neighborhood. I pay too much rent. My apartment is always hot. I don't like being at home but I don't like being alone outside of my house. I don't like my family. I don't like my friends. I am in love with unattainable people - god, I love a married man. I'm fat. I have a shitty complexion. I don't know shit about shit. My colleagues think I'm a bimbo. I can't even understand NT. I have the character traits of a serial killer. I can't get over my father's death. I fuck men I shouldn't. I fuck people to feel good. I can't hold a steady relationship. I am emotionally immature. I have a low IQ. I don't have the personal restraint to keep from eating too much. I don't have the discipline to go back to school. I over-indulge in food, alchohol, cigarettes and sex. I masturbate 2-3 times a fucking day! I get pissy when men don't want me. My own mother doesn't love me. My own mother threw me away. I look like a hippo when I dance. I just fucking suck!

So what is the solution to the problem? The problem is there is no solution. I've always been fucking pathetic. The only difference between now and my past is I can fake it better. I can laugh at comedy. I can make shitty jokes and I can pretend like everything is good. Like I have an awesome future, when in fact it's all fucking downhill. I can pretend people love me when they do shit that shows me they clearly don't love me and are just using me. I hate my life. I hate myself. I hate people. I hate my job. I hate my family. I hate my friends. I hate my lovers. I hate life. I hate God.

"My head hurts, my feet stink, and I don't love Jesus." --Jimmy Buffett