Last night, I totally got dissed by Marshall. After I left, he said to Arthur "She thinks I'm stupid. Like I didn't catch on with that music." (I was listening to Lords of Acid and sexy stuph - just who I listen to, that's all). So, okay, he thought I was suggesting, well ya know, and he still dissed me. Kinda feel bad about that. But at least now I can concentrate on my work and not have to take cold showers at night. *laugh* Although, he's going to regret it after I lose all the weight and let my hair grow. I'm going to be totally sexy and he's going to be kicking himself. Because after I lose the weight, no one who dissed me while I was fat is getting a chance! I am not losing the weight for them, but for me! So they will be able to just go fuck themselves....hehehehehe - I'll be a skinny chick with confidence.

I got to talk to Kris today via Hotmail's Instant Messanger. He seems very unahppy. I also recognize that he is one who is going to care about me even if I am fat. And that makes me happy. No superficial shit there. I don't go for men who are shallow and shit. He's not shallow. He's rad. He makes me feel good about myself even when i want to change myself - it's like I want to change this not because I'm bad but because I would be better.