While I was driving to work today, 94.1 was playing all of kd lang's album Ingenue. It made me think of Claudene (she would be pissed to hear that). It made me think of all of the times that I sat thinking about her, wanting her and listening to that album. It has been a few YEARS since I last heard from her. I realized that I will never be happy until I find her. I've tried everything I can. I will pay $50 to the person that can find her. I just want to appologize to her and tell her that I've always loved her and would do anything she asked me to do. And if she tells me that it's too late, that she doesn't love me anymore and I have no chance with her anymore, I will walk away, leave her alone. I just have to know. I can't go on not knowing.

I had a wierd dream last night. I dreamt that Don O'Regan was a C.I.A. secret agent - well, that he used to be and he was telling me that the Real Estate wasn't supporting his family well enough and he was going back into the C.I.A. I then told him it was my dream and he gave me some forms to fill out - almost like liscensing forms - and said that would allow me in the C.I.A. if they would have me. Then I was in the C.I.A. working on a case with some wierd woman whom I've never seen before. She was incredibly unintelligent. It was trippy.

I want to re-decorate my place. The bed is such the focal point and I have a LARGE studio, so I could easily change that. No one is really comfortable when they come to my place. I want to go for a whole coffee shop look. I want little tables and chairs and art and poetry. I want it to be a place where people are comfortable. If you got any suggestions, let me know.