I've decided to restart my web page, and  this is the very first entry. To all those who know me and have stopped in to read about my life, I thank you for checking in and giving  a shit. To those who don't know who I am, check out my profile to get a quick summary. After the painful deletion process of my last website, it took me about a year, but I finally put back the pieces of my broken heart. With this, I would like to commence the first entry of my web page, attempt fourteen.


Wednesday, March 13, 2002

Ok then, where do I start? I think my mom made me destroy my last website back in March of 2001, so everyone's pretty much in the dark about what has been going on with me. I'm currently 17 1/2, go to high school, work at In-N-Out Burger, and am awaiting college acceptance letters.

All right, enough intro. My day: I actually got a full 5-hour night of sleep last night, and that's exciting. What would be more exciting, of course, would be a blissful 7 or 8. ::salivates at the thought:: Anyway, my day pretty much went all right today. They were playing Israeli pop music in the quad today...that was interesting. Not much really happened I guess. I got an 8 out of 15 on my math quiz, the one I thought I did really well on. I've got senioritis something bad. I don't understand it. We have 3 months until we graduate, and I'm already slacking off. I guess I should really start taking school more seriously.

The school talent show is coming up, and Nehal and I might finally put together our goth/electronica band. I'm excited about that. We could be really good together. Oh! I'd like to let everybody know that I'm on a new lifestyle. I realized that the way I lived was making me depressed. I resented my parents for things that I really should have let go of. I hated my dad and blamed all of my current problems on him and the way he treated me, but I realize now that I'm not depressed because of what he did to me, I'm depressed because I'm not letting it go. I'm more optimistic, sincere, forgiving. A lot of my subscribers might very well love the new version of me. I'm still gonna be dark and all that, but I'm not going to let my dad ruin my life. He doesn't deserve that kind of power over me anyway.

 End of transmission, 20:41.

website of the day: www.GothicPersonals.com

* * *


Friday, March 15, 2002

Transmission Deleted.

End of transmission, 20:16.

Friend of the Day: Noaa
Song of the Day: "Shame" by Stabbing Westward

* * *


Saturday, March 16, 2002

Transmission Deleted.

End of transmission, 16:23.

Unconventional Snack of the Day: Buddy Biscuits

* * *


Tuesday, March 19, 2002

Ah, let's see. I guess not much to talk about...i stayed up late last night online and fell asleep 3 times in the middle of writing my essay for my english class....i thought i did an okay job, but when i went to print it out during lunch i realized i must have been like 90% asleep when i wrote it because it made about 10% sense...it was horrible. Barry was really cool and changed it for me during his 7th period, and i got to turn it in at the end of the day. what a doll.

So the essay was supposed to be a comparison essay between Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and almost any film made since. Well, silly Amy chose a horrible movie called "Frankenstein Unbound," and it was probably the most painful movie i've ever had to watch. Here, a quick synopsis:

  • dr joe buchanan, new los angeles weapons testing enginner, gets zapped into the past by a big man on a purple horse coming out of a portal in the sky.
  • buchanan meets frankenstein in a pub in france
  • dr. frankenstein is interested in buchanan's watch
  • frankenstein's monster yells, "give me what i want" (female companion)
  • dr. buchanan has a dream, some demon guy shows up and buchanan asks, "who is responsible for this?" The demon replies, "who do you think?" before disappearing and sending buchanan back
  • buchanan buys hip, old-fashioned clothes to fit in
  • frankenstein's monster cries, yells, "give me what you promised or i will break him, Victor. i will crush everyone around you and i will crush you."
  • frankthreatens to murder elizabeth
  • monster pulls out watchman's heart through his chest
  • monster nearly rapes elizabeth, ends up ripping her chest cavity open instead
  • victor frankenstein re-animates elizabeth
  • they get zapped into some snowy void, they call it a "snowy tomorrow" to sound cool i guess
  • victor shoots elizabeth
  • monster cries, breaks victors spine or something
  • buchanan and monster get zapped back into future
  • loud zappy lasers
  • noise, lights
  • dr buchanan and monster fight
  • dr buchanan bludgeons monster in stomach with pipe, pipe leaks blood
  • dr buchanan attacks monster with zappy lasers
  • monster retorts, "you dont understand! you have not killed me!"
  • loud gurgle-y sounds
  • buchanan kills monster, returns to snowy void
  • the end.

But seriously, as Amy said it best during the closing credits, "i can't believe these people put their names on this." Horrible choice, Amy.

Oh that reminds me...my mom told me yesterday that this friday we're leaving for LA....how random. Kelly has a tournament there, so we're gonna go hop in the car and go see her. Yay Kelly, good luck beavers.

Ooh, yesterday was fun. I went to a barbegue at Memorial Park...i think it was held by Dewey and Raj (no sites up for them, sorry guys), but there were a lot of people there. I'm notoriously bad at estimating, but i think at some points there were as much as 40 people there. fun. It ended up getting broken up by the cops because we didn't have a permit to use the picnic area, and we needed a *separate* permit to use the electricity...don't we all pay taxes?! damn them...and to think we were just having a barbeque in the park...I played football too, and got bruises. mmm. there's one on my face right above my eye that i can't keep myself from poking. ::poke,poke:: Oh, Mario left for Germany today...i envy him. I was supposed to go to Europe this summer but i really don't think its going to happen. I was supposed to go with Amy, Nehal, and my mom to visit Nina in Denmark and Nehal's friends in France...we were gonna go to England, Germany, Ireland, Scotland, Italy, Spain....and now i don't think i can go because i need the money...i may just work all summer, get a car, pay for college...i'll be all set. Oh! i was thinking of cutting my hair again, and im going to have a poll. Well, i don't know how to make a poll online and i'm really far too lazy to figure it out, so i'm just gonna ask you to tell me in person or via IM or e-mail. Here are the choices:

Short and choppy!
Like it was before...
(Choice A)

Smooth but spunky
I like this one
(Choice B)

Smooth and sleek
This one's Noaa's idea
(Choice C)

Long and smooth,
Like it was long ago...
(Choice D)

Ok, I'm depending on you guys. make a good choice.Well my webshell is pissing me off so i'm gonna call it a night. See ya.

End of transmission, 22:30.

Friend of the Day:Barry
Goal of the Day: sleep...

* * *


Tuesday, March 26, 2002

Ok, children. Here?s how it goes. I?m busy as hell so I?ll just post a quick update. I got back from Los Angeles Sunday night?I went to catch Kelly?s water polo tournament, so my mom, Andy, Amy, and I got into Andy?s car and just drove?we stayed with Andy?s friends. Anyway, not much happened that weekend, except that I saw Kelly and Andy let me drive his car in LA on the freeway in the middle of rush hour?I was going 70 miles an hour in the pouring rain?.it rocked, but it was really scary.

What else? This week, I?m busy as HELL. I have to write a 6-page essay on Hamlet, due Monday, on top of other things I?m not allowed to talk about. Plus, 3 of my college friends are in town this week and I barely have time for one of them....but Barry claimed me for Saturday. So either I hang out with Barry like I promised, or blow him off to hang out with Don, Matt, or John. I have to pick one?also Noaa?s cousin-types (family friends) from Israel are in town for a bit and I really want to meet them. Busy week! (I know it doesn?t sound that busy, but believe me, it is).

What else happened today? I met a midget. He was nice?Nothing else, I guess. I don?t want to go to work this Sunday, and I gotta give blood tomorrow. Fun...

Oh yea, yesterday I got 100% rejected financial aid from CalGrant and FAFSA...they say that we DO have too much money and the fact that my dad refuses to pay is considered a family problem, and it isn't their problem...they told my mom to "deal with it." The bitches. Also, yesterday I appologized to Matt Johnson for stereotyping him like i did...he's a football player and i guess a "jock," but i labelled him and associated him with all the rest of the jocks...i shouldn't have done that. Ok, i gotta go.

End of transmission, 20:02

Emotion of the Day: Stress
New Person of the Day: the midget (I forgot his name)

* * *


Thursday, March 28, 2002

Stress-free! Until Sunday anyway, when I get to panic about my 6-page essay that I will have not started yet. Yum. I turned in the last of my college stuff, so I have little worries left. Congratulations to Noaa, of course. I?ll let her tell you guys. So I met Tomer today, and yes, he is cute. Good job on that too, Noaa. I also saw Don today for the first time since he dumped me last June. I don?t know why I was stuck on him for so long?he really did treat me like shit, but I guess I like that. Also, he?s really attractive so there?s that. Speaking of attractive, last night Amy and my mom and I went to my mom?s friend Andy?s house for Passover, and Andy?s friend Kevin and Kevin?s 2 sons was there too. Russ was a little young, but Jim was cute. Heh. He?s gonna read this too. They must have all been so bored last night, Passover isn?t the most exciting holiday, but there was wine. Mmm. Ooh! Edward Norton is in Death to Smoochie! I gotta see that.

What else is new? I went to give blood yesterday but they wouldn?t let me, because I?m anemic. It?s not like I didn?t know that. Eh, this isn?t going anywhere, I?ll just end it here. Plus ER is starting now.

End of transmission, 22:02

Blood Disorder of the Day: Anemia
Topic of the Day: boys...

* * *


Sunday, March 31, 2002

Ok this?ll be really quick because I haven?t finished my 6-page essay on Hamlet yet, but I haven?t written in days. Today Andy and Kevin and Russ came over and gave me a cable connection in my room and its *fun*. They also fixed my scanner so there should be a lot more media coming up in future days.

I had to work today, and that sucked. It's Easter, and I thought it wouldn?t be too busy today but oh my God?we were so swamped. Then it completely died and they made me do headset?I was pretty good today I think. It?s weird, all of a sudden my "love" life is picking up. Notice I said love like "this". I don?t believe in love. But anyway, recently a lot of boys have been entering or reentering my life. Cool, huh? I think I?ll let Don go though...it depends on him, really. There is this boy at my work named Chad whose really cute and he?s been hitting on me recently...today I flirted back though, so who knows what?s going to happen there. Then this new hire guy named Kirk was hitting on me too. I thought he was really attractive, but when I found out he was 22, I kissed that goodbye. I told Amy?s boyfriend Evan yesterday that I had it for his cousin?I bet he?s gonna tell him. Also, a lot of girls at my school tell me I should like jock Matt. Should I? They all agree that he?s cute, but I don?t know him?I?ll have to know him to like him, you know? Personality is everything. Well, not everything. It goes like this: about 70% personality, 10% looks, and 20% hygiene. I can?t stress this enough. I like my boys clean, except I have been known to like gutter punks?don?t ask me why.

So I woke up yesterday at 6:15 to my dad coming into my room. The first think out of my mouth was, "what the hell are you doing in here," quickly followed by a "get the hell out!" He came in to my room to sign me offline so he could sign on, but when I told him to get out and that I would do it myself, he told me to shut up. That angered me, because he is in no position to tell me to shut up, and I rightfully told him so. So this continued, my telling at him to get out and him telling me to shut up, but he eventually got out. I don?t remember what finally convinced him, but I think by the end I was screaming at him. You guys have to understand that he is the only being on this earth that I hate. He has wronged me, and not that many people know how. He?s evil. So before you pass judgement on me or my actions, maybe you should know why things are the way they are. I won?t get into them though. So anyway, Amy and Evan and I went to Davis later in the day to check out UC Davis...Well, we stopped by at Donovan?s house to pick him to take him there, and he ended up ditching us again (how uncharacteristic), but his dog barked at me a lot. His dog is funny, it?s a toy Chihuahua (yes, they exist) named Ratso. So anyway, I blew off my friends and my homework to go to Davis, and it was a huge waste of time. The car ride took forever, then when we got there it must have been 300 degrees and nobody was there and everything was locked. Also, Don wasn?t there so he couldn?t show us around. So we drove back home and I fell asleep as soon as we got home.

It?s Passover, by the way. It?s been driving me crazy. You don?t realize how much food has wheat in it until Passover comes and you can?t eat it. I can?t eat bread and pasta, obviously, but I also can?t eat those vegan meatballs I eat every day. I can?t eat cream of wheat for breakfast, or a sandwich at lunch. Today at work I couldn?t eat a burger, so I just had two slabs of beef instead?just 2 patties and a pile pickles. Yum.

Ooh! Dax said he?s paint my portrait! I?ve been getting interested in my acquaintances? artwork recently?I?m paying Liz from my art class to paint something for my room, and I think I asked somebody else too?why did I forget the second person? And why do I have the feeling that it?s someone from my PE class? Or my English class...that can?t be right.... Oh well. I?m paying 2 of the 3. Won?t that be cool? To have personalized (and really talented) art in my room? That would rock.

Ok, enough procrastination. I need to work on my essay. I thought that maybe after I graduate from high school I?d start posting my old essays on my web site. Is that a good or bad idea? Nevermind, that was a rhetorical question. See y?all.

End of transmission, 9:34

Topic of the Day: Boys, again...
Stressful Issue of the Day: 6-Page Essay on Hamlet, due Tomorrow
Not-So-Interesting Fact of the Day: I FINALLY finished Barry's mix tape!

* * *