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In Memoriam

JOSHUA WALLIS HORIZON

The whole crew: Joe, Noel, Will, Josh and Sam in happier times


ON THE LIFE AND DEATH OF OUR SON, JOSHUA

Joshua Horizon was born 10 September 1982 in San Luis Obispo, California and died 20 April 2002 from injuries sustained in a motorbike accident on Auburn Folsom Road, in the mountains of rural Placer County. He was a student at American River College in East Sacramento and worked for The Gap in Citrus Heights and at MillGuard Windows.

Josh will be remembered for his beautiful smile and his ironic sense of humour. He loved the movie "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" and the films "Blazing Saddles" and "Snatch".

Joshua was athletic and lettered in wrestling at Foothill High School. He also was an accomplished snowboarder and inline skater. Josh enjoyed spending summers down at the Susan River with his dad and siblings, jumping from the second bridge and splashing his brothers Joe, Sam and William, and teasing his sister Noel.

He was also skilled at carving wood, and won two ribbons at the State Fair for his sculptures. He played clarinet, loved music (mainly Tool and Rammstein), and was always helping family and neighbours fix their motorcars (especially his dad, who can't even hold a spanner!).

When Josh wasn't installing an alternator or fixing a computer, he read constantly, his favorite authors being Brian Jacques ("Redwall"), Richard Feynman, and Stephen King.

At the memorial held Thursday 25 April 2002 over 370 friends and family recalled Joshua's love of family and love of the outdoors. He spent many hours tent camping with his mum and dad in Mendocino and Sonoma Counties; as a young adult, he camped at the lake with his best friends Mike H. and Tzonu Genov ("Bob") and long-time girlfriend Amanda Mitchell.

When Josh came home from college, the first thing he always did was hug and kiss his mum. And he never forgot, before hanging up on the phone, to say "I love you, Papa". Family and relationships always came first for him, and he came to work every day with a smile.

We will always love and cherish Joshua, and hold him dear to our hearts. We would like to thank all of our friends and neighbours for the flowers, cards, food and condolences we received during the weeks following Josh's passing.

We would also like to thank singer Kate Rusby for dedicating the song "Bold Riley" to Josh at her May 2002 concert in Chico, California. We miss you, our sweet, handsome son.

Godspeed, Joshua.


Josh Horizon: Montage of Joshua and family by mom Linda


His life was gentle,
and the elements
So mix'd in him
that Nature might stand up
And say to all the world
'This was a man!'



(On April 20, 2002 Joshua Horizon Zekas died of "multiple blunt force trauma". This is a letter sent to the Sacramento Warrior Nation Sportbike Club, of which Joshua was a founding member).

Hi, I am Josh's dad. I knew him, loved him, and cared about him for nineteen years. I am really happy that he had so many friends.When I was a young man, I rode motorbikes. Then I had a serious accident, and stopped riding... kind of like a "message from god". You are all adults. No one can tell you what to do. But, if you loved my son, and if you love your own parents, then you will stop riding sportbikes. Today, tomorrow, or in a couple of weeks, another one of you will be seriously injured, or perhaps killed. Maybe you don't care... after all, "It's my life!" you would say. But think about the broken hearts you leave behind. Imagine your parents mourning your death for weeks, or months, or even for years afterwards. Imagine Christmas morning, and you are not there, and your friends and folks are crying over you and missing you. Imagine the pain everyone else will feel, when you are gone. There are other sports that are fun and exciting, but that won't kill you. If you loved my son, if you really care about others, then give up riding motorcycles. Or else, someday, your parents will be writing your obituary, and grieving over their loss of you. Thank you for listening.

Respectfully,

Jeff (Horizon) Zekas,
Susanville, California


Over the past year that I have known Josh, I have been very fortunate to have spent hundreds of dollars riding thousands of miles with him. I will cherish these memories always. Josh was always fun to be with and always himself, never trying to be someone else. He always seemed happiest riding his 929. Josh will always be in my heart and in my prayers.

sincerely, Ron Gardener


Josh smiling for his kindergarten picture


Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
I feel you everywhere I go.
I see your smile, I see your face,
I hear you laughing in the rain.
I still can't believe you're gone.

And sometimes I wonder:
Who would you be today?
Would you see the world?
Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family?
I wonder what would you name your babies?

Some days the sky is so blue,
I feel like I can talk to you,
And I know it might sound crazy.
It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away.

God knows how I miss you;
All the hell I've been through,
Just knowing no one could take your place.
And sometimes I wonder:
Who you'd be today?

(kenny chesney)


Mom, Sam, Josh and buddy Mike at Foothill High graduation, June 2000
(the medal is for academic honors)


Dear Jeff,

I was very saddened to hear about Josh's untimely passing. Although I did not know Josh very well, and was just an aquaintance and classmate of his, I could tell he was a very nice, polite gentleman. He always greeted me and every other person in the class with a smile.

One thing I vividly remember about him is that he was always humming something, and I recall turning around one day, and giving him a look of curiosity as to why he was humming. He smiled and said, "Oh, it's something that I always do; I'm always humming a tune of this or that."

I will miss his company in our corner of the room; I am glad to have had the pleasure to meet such a reserved and silently charismatic guy. I'm sure he made very many people happy. My heart and sympathy go out to you, your family, and friends.

My heartfelt condolences,

Samantha Morgan


Joshua and Papa-- like father, like son.


That best portion of a good man's life--
His little, nameless, unremembered acts
Of kindness and love.
(william wordsworth)

Whatever you do, don't tease him when he's grumpy!


Whenever life gets you down, Mrs Brown,
And things seem hard or tough
And people are stupid, obnoxious or daft,
and you feel that you've had quite enough...

Just remember...Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars.
It's a hundred thousand light years side to side.
It bulges in the middle, sixteen thousand light years thick,
But out by us, it's just three thousand light years wide.
We're thirty thousand light years from galactic central point.
We go 'round every two hundred million years,
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe...

So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth,
And pray that there's intelligent life
somewhere up in space,
'Cause there's bugger
all down here on Earth.


"In my opinion, there's nothing in this world, that beats a '52 Vincent and a redheaded girl..." Josh and Amanda were so in love, that all the world could see.


Don't you know I'm numb, man?
No, I can't feel a thing at all
'Cause it's all smiles and business these days
And I'm indifferent to the loss
And I think that there's a soul somewhere
that's leading me around
I wonder if she knows
which way is down?

Here I stand, sad and free
I can't cry, and I can't see
what I've done
Oh God, what have I done?...

I poured my heart out...
I poured my heart out...
It evaporated...
See?

(ben folds)


Driver's License photo, age sixteen, before he cut his hair


Dear Jeff,

The world came to a standstill, when Our Lord died on the cross, for all who knew and loved him. Three days later, when he rose from the dead, they were all stunned and were in disbelief! You are now immersed in the same reality of life- death-life, for the one you know and love-- Joshua. His song now is Alleluia, for he sees God face to face. We walk by faith, not by sight, so our song is Amen-- Yes, Lord, I believe-- help thou my unbelief. I share with you in your grief, over sure and certain hope of reunion in the Kingdom, revealed by Our Lord's rising from the dead.

Love, Father Jerry


Three Libras: School photos found in a frame, one behind the other


It's hard when the world loses a bright light. The potential Joshua had was beyond imagining. Wouldn't it have been amazing, if we could see what may have been? The humor Joshua had about the bad things (Cal Expo and Mike McCabe) could really put perspective to our troubles. He had the rare ability to find the humor, where others would see anger and hurt. Joshua touched all he saw, whether he knew it or not. I remember the close call he had at Cal Expo, with the lumber falling. He came so close to going to the Lord, then. God must have needed another angel to watch over the rest of us. He's not gone from our hearts, and will always be a part of each and every one of those he met.

love, Caree and Neal


To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;
to earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate the beauty; to find the best in others;
to leave the world a little bit better
whether by a healthy child, a garden patch
or a redeemed social condition;
to know even one life has breathed easier because
you have lived. This is to have succeeded.

(ralph waldo emerson)


At home during Christmas (note the ever-present "Tool" band tee-shirt)


As the anniversary of Josh's
death approaches, I am saddened
once again at the loss of your fine
young son. I remember exactly
where he sat in class. Josh signalled
in so many nonverbal ways that he
was PRESENT. His warmth, friendliness
and humor drew people to him even in a
class of strangers.

I hope you and your loved ones
find solace in your warm connections
with each other, and the knowlege of
how many lives were enriched from
being touched by Josh.

Sincerely, Nancy Miller


Josh celebrated his first birthday in Hawaii, playing in the sand with Papa


The life Joshua lived was everything one could have hoped for. He loved, he laughed, and he lived life to its fullest. I remember the first time we had a chance to talk after class. He immediately asked me about my family. He was so intent: that was how I knew that he loved and looked forward to a family of his own one day. Age was not an issue, neither was race... Joshua was able to see people for who they were as an individual. We should all be so lucky to love people for who they are, regardless of all circumstances. The thing I remember most about Josh is that he was vibrant. His smile and his eyes were enough to make others want to smile. I know that the loss is heavy on all of you, but be sure that Josh is with the angels. He was always one here on earth. Be thankful that each of you has someone watching over you everyday. Love and memories are the only things that last forever. Keep his memory alive today and always. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

With love and respect, Kristina Stanley


Joshua being kissed by Muhammad Ali at a scholarship benefit in San Luis Obispo, January 1983


I only knew Joshua for a brief time, but his essence of sweetness and caring were evident from the start. Sharing only our interactions in psychology class, I learned quickly that Joshua was a special soul. I am a mother of three (ages eighteen to twenty-five) and I knew immediately that Joshua was a "good kid". He was wise beyond his years. And I will always remember his sweet smile. I was comforted by his memorial service, which reinforced what I already knew. Your son was a gift to so many that he shared his life with. May all the wonderful memories of Joshua give you and your family comfort.

with love, Kathi Bignami


"Happy anniversary, Joshua. Hey there! I thought this (flowers) would be a little different, and I thought you would enjoy them. We made it to a year! I have loved every second with you. You have made me the happiest girl alive. I love you! love always, Amanda"


Josh at a construction site. His passion was working with his hands


Joshua would never take his hat off. I loved his room... it was really cool. Josh, I loved you like a brother, because you treated my like a sister.

love, Amberlee Talbot


Joshua excelled at sports, but he was SO nervous before a game! Age 13 and pitcher for the Larchmont Cardinals


"Joshua, you have made a huge impact on me, because you have let me explore more things about myself... You have made me stronger and want to be a better person... I also want to tell you why I have chosen you over anyone else: It is because you are a hottie, a goofball, (you are) interesting, sweet and sour, an intellectual, responsible, a care-taker, helpful, honest, and a fighter. All of these things make me want to be with you...love, Curly


"Photographs and memories, Christmas cards you sent to me, All that I have are these, to remember you..."


Josh, six years old, with Swedish exchange student Malin Gedda (nee Wranghult), celebrating Malin's eighteenth birthday, at the house in North Highlands, California


Josh, We love you and miss you with all our hearts.

love, Rachael


"It's fear of the unknown,
Unknown is what it is.
Accept that it's unknown,
and it's plain sailing."
(john lennon)


You follow your feelings,
You follow your dreams
You follow the leader
into the trees
And what's in there waiting?
neither one of us knows
You gotta keep one eye open
the further you go
You never dreamed
you'd go down on one knee,
but now,
Who could have seen?

(tom petty)



I remember the last day I got to give Joshua a hug.

He wanted to take Sam snowboarding as a late Christmas or birthday gift, I can't remember which. It was probably a combination of the two, as Sam's birthday is in December.

Jeff, William, Sam and I drove the two hours down to Truckee; Joshua and his girlfriend Amanda drove the two hours up, and we all met in the McDonald's parking lot in Truckee. We passed off Sam, so they could go to Squaw Valley for the day. William, Jeff and I then wandered the shops in old town Truckee, had lunch, and went skating at a local rink. I took a huge fall and, among other injuries, sustained bruised ribs, which left me barely able to move for weeks afterward.

Jeff and I didn't actually get to spend much time with Josh that day. We got a hug and kiss hello, and another quick hug and kiss goodbye, when we met back up to get Sam. Joshua wanted to get on the road (and home) before it got dark and icy.

What I mostly remember about that day was standing there in the parking lot, a step or two apart from the noisy confusion that my family always creates, deliberately drinking in the sight and sound of Joshua.

I remember that for some reason I couldn't explain (a blessing, that) I was adamant that all of us went to Truckee that day. There really hadn't been any logical reason for it. Normally, I would have happily left the long drive to my hubby, and stayed home and enjoyed the quiet. Still, I had been insistent, almost to the point of panic.

I think, on some level, I must have known this was my last chance to say goodbye.

Until we meet again, I love you, Joshua.


"Who wants to live forever?"
(queen)


You and I will meet again
When we're least expecting it
Somewhere in some far off place
I will recognize your face
I won't say goodbye my friend
For you and I will meet again

I heard you singing to no one
I saw you dancing all alone
One day you belonged to me
Next day I just wouldn't know
One day all the rules will bend
And you and I will meet again


Josh's best friend, Tzonu Genov


I've got a feeling
I've got a feeling so strong
That maybe someday
our paths will cross

A red winged hawk is circling
The blacktop stretches out for days
How could I get so close to you
And still feel so far away?
I hear a voice come on the wind
Saying you and I will meet again
I don't know how, I don't know when
But you and I will meet again


I held you the moment you were born, and I shall always hold you in my heart... my dear, sweet, Joshua.


Jeff, Thank you for the message...it made me smile. Although I must admit, it's bittersweet. When I see I've received a message from Josh, it takes a split second for reality to catch up, and for just a flash, I actually think it's Josh... Although HE would probably send me a goofy comment, making me laugh about the whole experience. I knew that Josh had Cal Poly in his plans, for I was accepted via "early admissions", and knew for the majority of Senior year of my upcoming destination. We talked about how amazingly beautiful the scenery was in SLO, compared to our outlook of Sacramento, from our "Work Experience" class window.

Ahhh...to be 17 again, sitting next to Josh in an uncomfortable class chair, complaining about the day. If we'd only known that just a handful of years later we'd give anything to be sitting in those seats again. Life is hard... I hadn't realized until the past couple of years how truly harsh it can be. I really like routine, consistency, "Plan B", et cetera. And it has been really hard to have the whole foundation on which it was built-- not only "on" but "for"-- yanked right from under my feet. I'm definitely feeling like a "Castaway" (awesome movie). So yes, I'm working on gathering up all my pieces. However I'm still scared and unsure which pieces I should leave behind and how to fit the new ones together. I'm sure-- just like you-- I want the "hurt" to stop, knowing that it never will. That is a concept I'm still trying to accept. I've adopted a new motto: "It could always be worse". I must say it daily, just to remind myself of what I have, still with me, and not to be taken for granted. Thank you again for the note. I hope the family is doing well. Josh and I have birthdays coming up soon. I wish he was here... Big Hugs, Megs


St. Lucia Day, The Festival of Light, on December 13, 1987, with Josh as a "star boy", whilst Noel as attendant and Malin Wranghult (nee Gedda) as Lucia bring lussekatter, saffron bread, ginger biscuits and coffee.


MEET THE REST OF JOSH'S FAMILY:

Papa playing a favorite air-guitar (Walmart 998 Deluxe) with William Zekas in San Diego
"The expression of a people's hopes and dreams in song is the mark of a true culture."


Biography for Papa,
Jeff "Zeke" Zekas

Joshua's dad, Jeffrey Zekas was raised in California with his two brothers and one sister. Jeff's dad was a physician and his mom was a computer programmer for International Business Machines (IBM).

Jeff attended University of California where he received his Bachelor of Arts degree. Afterwards, he spent two months on holiday in the UK and Western Europe. Following his travels in Europe, Jeff attended teacher's college and graduate school. He then returned to work, first as a park ranger, then later as a social worker, teacher and state worker.


"If I had influence with the good fairy,
I should ask that her gift to each child
be a sense of wonder so indestructible
that it would last throughout life."


Joshua's brothers, Sam, Will and Joe camping in our dome tent at Patrick's Point, circa 1996. Joseph is now 27 years old; Samuel is 24 and a hardware store manager; William is 18 and graduates in June 2010 from Lassen High School.


"Biologically, adults produce children.
Spiritually, children produce adults.
Most of us do not grow up until
we have helped children do so.
Thus do the generations
produce a braided cord."
(george will)


The last time I saw my wonderful son; brother and sweet-soul, Joshua Horizon, aged 19 and still full of life.


"If someone loves a flower of which just
one example exists among all the millions and
millions of stars, that's enough to make him
happy when he looks at the stars."
(saint-exupery)


William, playing center for the Lassen Grizzlies


Josh's sister, Noel, 21 years old and married. She gave birth to our first grandson, "baby Josh", on August 6, 2004, and had her second child, Anastasia on April 14, 2006


"Love is the eyes we see with."


Jeff's wife and Josh's mum, Linda Jo Zekas...she still makes my heart skip a beat!!!


"Instead of getting married again,
I'm going to find a woman I don't like
and just give her a house."
(rod stewart)


Joe after boot camp, 2005


What my mind sees:
is little boys-- to break your heart
with the growing they have to do--
not these men. No wonder
I don't know their names--
(margery cavanagh)


All the kids with Papa-- but one is missing...


In sorrow we must go, but not in despair.
Behold! We are not bound forever to the circles of the world,
and beyond them is more than memory,
Farewell!


Sam at Joe's wedding


To live and not to breathe
Is to die in tragedy
To run,
To run away
To find what you believe


Papa and Mom, White Sands, October 1995


My shadow
is the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart
is the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone
out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...


(joe and lisa's wedding, 21 august 2004, ashland, oregon)


Always look on the bright side of life...
For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin-- give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.
(monty python)


Papa and Mom, Susanville, October 2005


Let him in, Peter
He is very tired
Give him couches where the angels sleep
And light those fires...

May his peace be deep
Remember where his broken body lies
God knows how young he was
To have to die

So give him things he likes
Let him make some noise
Give dance hall bands not golden harps
To this our boy

And let him love, Peter
For he had no time
He should have trees and bird songs
And hills to climb

The taste of summer in a ripened pear
And girls sweet as meadow wind
With flowing hair

And tell him how he is missed
But say not to fear
It's gonna be alright
With us down here

Let him in, Peter
Let him in...



At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are
Never coming home


"If you live life right
death is a joke
as far as fear is concerned"
(will rogers)


The moment was temporary, like everything is. Nothing in life really stays. And it's beautiful that they go. They have to go, in order for the next thing to come. You can almost add beauty to a thing, by accepting that it's temporary.
(paul mccartney)


Thig crioch air an t-saoghal ach mairidh ceol agus gaol.
(The world will come to an end, but music and love will endure).


I've watched the stars fall silent
from your eyes;
All the sights that I have seen.
I can't believe, that
I believed I wished that you could see;
There's a new planet in the solar system,
There is nothing up my sleeve.
I'm pushing an elephant up the stairs;
I'm tossing up punch lines that were never there.
Over my shoulder a piano falls,
Crashing to the ground.
In all this talk of time,
Talk is fine.


But I don't want to stay around...
Why can't we pantomime,
just close our eyes,
And sleep sweet dreams?
Me and you with wings on our feet...
I'm breaking through,
I'm bending spoons,
I'm keeping flowers in full bloom,
I'm looking for answers from the great beyond...
I want the hummingbirds,
the dancing bears,
Sweetest dreams of you.
I Look into the stars,
I Look into the moon...
I'm looking for answers
from the great beyond.



You're the only one who can hold your head up high,
Shake your fists at the gates saying:
"I have come home now!
Fetch me the spirit, the son, and the father.
Tell them their pillar of faith has ascended.
It's time now!
My time now!
Give me my wings!"
(tool)


A Mother's Lament For the Death of Her Son

Fate gave the word, the arrow sped,
And pierc'd my darling's heart;
And with him all the joys are fled
Life can to me impart.

By cruel hands the sapling drops,
In dust dishonour'd laid;
So fell the pride of all my hopes,
My age's future shade.

The mother-linnet in the brake
Bewails her ravish'd young;
So I, for my lost darling's sake,
Lament the live-day long.

Death, oft I've feared thy fatal blow.
Now, fond, I bare my breast;
O, do thou kindly lay me low
With him I love, at rest!


Hello, my name is Meghan Sheridan. I was a classmate and friend of Josh's... While doing a search, I came across Josh's page. I heard of Josh's tragic accident and was crushed. I tried to locate a cemetery to pay my respects, but haven't had any luck, so far. Perhaps someone from his family could give me some information? Also, as a sidenote: I was lucky enough to be on Josh's arm for graduation. My mom sent a bunch of pictures my way. I would be happy to forward you copies, if you're interested. I look forward to hearing from you, and again, I offer my deepest sympathy for your son. I now have a three year old of my own, and can't imagine imagine the pain of losing a child. My prayers are with you.
Big Hugs, Megs

(note: Joshua's ashes were laid to rest at Spooner's Cove in Montana de Oro State Park. His dad paddled out on his surfboard and, amid prayers and blessings, released Josh into the sea)


Joshua

My oldest son. My stepson, but those extra four letters (s-t-e-p) really didn't change how much I love him. All big ears and straight fly away hair and gorgeous eyes with this little mole just to one side, and a humor so dry that it would make your mouth pucker at the same time you were laughing. At nineteen, like a lot of nineteen year olds, he thought he was invincible. He was killed in a motorcycle accident. I miss him every day.


On good days, I hold onto his life, well lived. On bad days, I mourn our loss, and try to remember that our time here is finite, but life remains eternal. The loss can be crushing, at times, but the pain is eased when I hear him speaking to my soul, reminding me that all is well... love, Kate


Sam coaching William for U-12 Soccer


Somewhere in the woods: Josh, Joe, Noel, Sam and Papa... tired but happy



Dear Zekas family, our dear friends: We are so very sorry for your loss of Joshua. You are all in our most heartfelt thoughts and prayers. We can only imagine how you must miss him. Joshua's gentle eyes and smile lives on in us-- he has helped shape a part of who we are. We are blessed by how he has touched others and us. We love you, Chris, Tom, Geoff, Jane and Matt


(will and linda at stonehenge, may 2006)

We shall not cease exploration.
And at the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
(t.s. eliot)


william sawyer zekas, somewhere in england, summer 2006


There is but one freedom: to put oneself right with death. After that, everything is possible. I cannot force you to believe in God. Believing in God amounts to coming to terms with death. When you have accepted death, the problem of God will be solved-- and not the reverse. (albert camus)


To the outside world we all grow old.
But not to brothers and sisters.
We know each other as we always were.
We know each other's hearts.
We share private family jokes.
We remember family feuds and secrets,
family griefs and joys.
We live outside the touch of time.
(clara ortega)


noel's daughter, anastasia faye o'laughlin, born 14 April 2006 in citrus heights, california


WITHOUT

the silence
of nature
within.
the power within.
the power
without.
the path is whatever passes-- no
end in itself.
the end is,
grace-- ease--
healing,
not saving.
singing
the proof
the proof of the power within.

--gary snyder


Noel's wedding, 1 October 2006: William Zekas, Linda Zekas, Jeffrey Zekas, bride Noel Horizon O'Laughlin with groom Richard O'Laughlin, and their oldest son, Joshua Layne Day


William being taught lessons with the longbow, Conwy Castle, near the town of Conwy, Aberconwy & Colwyn, north Wales, may 2006


If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you
into the dark



"Xxxx-actly" was Joshua's trademark comment.
I still get a little jolt when someone
else uses the term with just the right emphasis.


Life is a game that must be played:
This truth, at least, good friend, we know;
So live and laugh, nor be dismayed
As one by one the phantoms go.



My life is still rich and full. But it's too late for some things. Every time I make a choice now, I realize it's no longer a choice between now or later. It's very often a choice between now or never. There are only so many years, only so many seasons, only so many chances. When I was younger, I could always tell myself that anything I wanted, but didn't pursue then, could be returned to, at a later time in life. NOW is that "later time".


What a doll! Joli Dawson, born 6 December 2006


I remember the first Valentine's Day after Joshua died. I was trying not to think about what day it was, I wasn't in the mood for happy or lovey or sweet. Life didn't seem particularly sweet just yet. Mostly I was trying to keep busy and get through the day without thinking at all and for that purpose I decided to sort out a stack of old books that had been sitting around for awhile. Holding one book up, none too carefully, something fell out from inside it and dropped to my lap. It was an old Valentine's card of construction paper and crayon that had laid forgotten inside the pages for a decade and a half. Strange shapes that might have been hearts were drawn on it, clustered around the words "HapPy VaLentiNEs dAy". I opened it up and inside it read "I LovE YoU - JOsHua".


Just being quiet. Papa put up some pics and a friend mentioned something about "some angels walk amongst us for a short time" - and I was thinking of how he would smile that sort of half smile of his, like most of it was hidden, at the thought of passing as an angel. Quite the sneaky angel then. I'm so grateful for all the memories we all hold together. I love you all bunches and bunches and bunches and...(from Mom 4-20-13)

Joshua Horizon Memorial Website last edited on 20 April 2013. Please contact webmaster if you have any questions or comments at jeffreyzekas@yahoo.com or visit Josh's Myspace Site