Spoons
I took some clients out to dinner last week, and I
noticed a spoon in the shirt pocket of our waiter
as handed us the menus. It seemed a little odd,
but I dismissed it as a random thing, until our
busboy came with water and tableware; he, too,
sported a spoon in his breast pocket.
I looked around the room, and all the waiters,
waitresses, busboys, etc. had spoons in their
pockets. When our waiter returned to take our
order, I just had to ask "Why the spoons?"
"Well", he explained, " our parent company
recently hired some Anderson Consulting efficiency
experts to review all our procedures, and after
months of statistical analyses, they concluded
that our patrons drop spoons on the floor 73% more
often than any other utensil; at a frequency of 3
spoons per hour per workstation. By preparing all
our workers for this contingency in advance, we
can cut our trips to the kitchen down and save
time.....nearly 1.5 extra man hours per shift."
Just as he finished, a "ch-ching" came from the
table behind him, and he quickly replaced a fallen
spoon with the one from his pocket. "I'll grab
another spoon the next time I'm in the kitchen
instead of making a special trip, " he proudly
explained.
I was impressed. " Thanks. I had to ask".
"No problem,", he answered, and then continued to
take our orders.
As the members of my dinner party took their
turns, my eyes darted back and forth from every
person ordering, and my menu. That' s when, out
of the corner of my eye, I spotted a think, black
thread protruding from our waiter's fly.
Again, I dismissed it; yet I had to scan the room
and, sure enough, there were other waiters and
busboys with strings hanging out of their
trousers. My curiosity overrode discretion at this
point, so before he could leave I had to ask.
"Excuse me, but...uh...why, or what...about that
string?"
"Oh, yeah", he began in a quieter tone, "Not many
people are that observant. That same Anderson
efficiency group found we could save time in the
Men's room, too."
"How's that?"
"You see, by tying a string to the end of our, eh,
selves, we can pull it out of the urinals
literally hand-free, and thereby eliminate the
need to wash our hands, cutting time spent in the
rest room by over 93%!"
"Oh, that makes sense", I said, but then thinking
through the process, I asked "Hey, wait a minute.
If the string helps you pull it out, how do you
get it back in?"
"Well", he whispered, "I don't know about the
other guys, but I use my spoon.
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