The Downfall of Conan O'Brien -- page 1
I have to warn you right now, this is not your usual lighthearted fan-fic story. I have the utmost respect for Conan O'Brien, but this is how I write........By the way, don't ask me about the end, I won't tell you. You have to decide for yourself.

Conan O'Brien had a great life. Sure, he pretended to complain, but all in all, he was happy. He had a house, a New York apartment, a beautiful girlfriend, great friends, quite possibly the worlds best fans, and, oh yeah, his own tv show. But naturally, he was a real person, with real problems. Except, right now Conan thought to himself, looking around his office, everything is oddly right.

Okay, so at the moment, he had a perfect life. He and Lynn had not fought. He had job security. He had fans screaming "Conan!!!" from Rockafeller Plaza below at this very moment....that was a little weird, but his fans were usually to be that way. Instead of just liking him, they tended to get rather obsessed with him, knowing almost every aspect of his life.

Technically, today wasn't a work day. Conan was just bored, he had just been sitting around the apartment staring at the walls all day. So he decided to come to the office, do something productive.

Like staring at the walls. He couldn't find it in him to work, for the first time in his life, so he did a rare thing, which was sit there and remind himself how good his life was, and secretly allow a little pride that he was still the same Conan. He was a little more irritable now in then, but this was apparently a common thing among celebrities.

Celebrity. Conan hated the word, but a while back he came to realize he was one, sort of. He learned to tolerate it, and words like Hip, breakthrough, and hot.

Hot. Conan was hot, especially to teenage girls and their likenesses. He hadn't the slightest idea why, when he was a teenager the girls definitely did not swoon. Someone once told him that it was a sensitivity thing, but he was pretty sure that wasn't it. As one girl so descriptively put it "Look at him! He's hot!"

Well, he didn't agree let them think what they wanted. He loved his fans, they were cool. A lot of them said that they though Conan would be "Just cool to hang out with." So he did that occasionally, on a good day he would be stopped by an adoring fan and offer to take them to lunch or something.

"COOOO-NAAN!!!!!!!" came the scream from outside.

Conan looked at his watch, seeing it was only 1, and peeked out the window. Standing there, with their hands cupped around their mouths, were two girls screaming his name. He laughed to himself, and quickly took the elevator to the ground floor. The girls were still screaming at his window, oblivious that he was standing next to them. He laughed "And I wasn't even planning on coming today...."

The 2 girls shut up and slowly turned around, looking up. One, a blonde haired girl, about 17, gasped. The other, a brunette, grinned. "We knew you would give in eventully."she said breathlessly, her eyes the size of frisbees.

The blonde just stood there, mouth gaping.

"Well, what is it you two want?" Conan asked teasingly.

They both looked at eachother blankly, then back at him. "I meet you....we didn't really plan that far ahead....." the brunette stuttered.

"Well, I hope you're hungry, 'cause I was planning to take you to lunch." Conan said, loving their reactions.

The brunette was speechless, then she tried to keep her cool and answer, but all that came out was "Ahhhhhh....." The blonde gasped again, whispered "Okay." and looked down.

"So, yes?" The girls nodded. "Okay, wait here." Conan quickly made his way into the building, the elevator, and the parking garage. He retrieved his Land Rover and went to pick them up.


As Conan O'Brien, The Conan O'Brien walked away from Marrissa and Tori, they looked at each other and shrieked. Tori smacked herself on the head, tousling her blonde bangs, "Why couldn't I talk? I was frozen!"

"You couldn't talk! I'm sure 'Ahhhhhhh' didn't sound very attractive." Marrissa exclaimed, checking her face in a dark window on the side of the building. It had been her idea. They had read somewhere that Conan sometimes came to work on Mondays, so they took their chances, being that every other day was a mob scene. At first, Tori was afraid they would get in trouble, so Marrissa had to turn on the charm for a young security guard to see if the man was even there. When they learned he was, Tori no longer cared about getting in trouble and started screaming in the general direction the guard had pointed.

In the back of their minds, they really did not expect him to come out. But they had hopes. And now, not only did he respond, but he offered them lunch....

"Where do you think he'll take us?" Tori wondered out loud.

"Hmmm.....a fancy place?" They looked at eachother. "Nawww....."

"Probably just some nice place that he likes....." Tori added.

"And may that be our favorite restaurant for the rest of our days." Marrissa vowed, only half kidding.

A car they didn't expect drove around the corner. Conan opened the door. "Hop in."

"Where's your Taurus?" Tori asked.

Conan blinked. It still surprised him that people knew that. "Uh, it's up at my house in Connecticut....I decided to treat myself with a new car."

The Girls excepted that, hopping in. "So what are your names?" Conan asked, pulling away from the curb.

Marrissa answered. "I'm Marrissa, she's Tori. We live in SoHo, not far from where you used to live, actually. But now you moved, so we couldn't track you down."

Conan grinned. "That's the way it's supposed to be."

They rode in silence for a moment, then began shooting question after question, everything from his childhood to his shoe size. He answered as much a he could. When it came time to order they became silent, staring at him. What would he get?

Conan scanned the menu, oblivious to their staring for a moment. He finally looked up from the menu and stared back. "What?"

They went on with lunch, the girls yapping with their mouths full, which was kind of grossing him out. They told him everything. They were stepsisters, Marrissa was 17, Tori was 21. Conan was finding Marrissa a little annoying, but he liked Tori, although she was a little quiet. When Marrissa left for the bathroom, Conan took the opportunity to talk to Tori "Talk much?"

Tori smiled. "Marrissa does a lot of the talking for me. It takes an army to shut her up........Sorry. I am a really big fan, Conan."

"Ugh.....why not get a better role model, like Tom Snyder or something...."

Tori cracked up. "So how's your girlfriend? Getting married yet?"

Conan wrinkled his nose "Marriage. What kind of husband would I make? I pick fights, I'm never there, I'm stressful....."

Tori cocked her head "You would make a great husband." she said, softly and seriously.

Conan held her gaze for a moment, unable to look away. Then Marrissa came back, yapping about something. Conan only paid half of his attention, the rest of the time he studied Tori without realizing it. She was......something. He admitted to himself that he was attracted to her, but she was only 21. She was staring back at him. Marrissa was yapping.

About an hour later, they all finished, he offered to bring them home. Marrissa, in a disappointed voice, admitted she had to be somewhere across town. But Tori excepted.


Conan had to admit he felt a connection with this girl, so when she started to get out he stopped her and guiltily scribbled out his private office number. "Call me sometime, Tori. We can talk."

She smiled. "Sure." she started to get out, and on second though leaned over and kissed him full on the lips. She ducked out and winked, closing the door.

Conan sat for a moment, a little surprised. In his typical worrisome, guilty Irish Catholic way, he wondered if that counted as cheating. He thought about Lynn, and how she reacted when he flirted on the show. She would get irritated, but she new he was kidding.

But he wasn't kidding now.

He sighed. There's one to take to the grave he thought, pulling away.

Tori watched from the lobby of her apartment building, still tingling from the kiss. She calmly went to her apartment, picked up the phone, and dialed the number scribbled on the paper. "Hi, this is Conan. I'm not in my office at the moment, so please leave a message on my Voice Mail." bleep bleep.

She spoke softly to Conan and hung up.

Conan listened to the message once again. The voice was almost scary, evil in a way, saying it will find him. It was a woman, he was fairly sure. But it was quiet. Conan stared at his own phone, unsure of what to think. So he shrugged it off, grabbed his jacket and headed out, Tori nearly forgotten. He had quite an ability to repress his feelings.

The next day, Conan got up before Lynn, around 8 am, and sat at his kitchen table. He noticed a piece of paper sitting on the table. He raised his eyebrows. That hadn't been there last night......he picked it up and opened it :

Conan Dearest,
I can do a lot more than you think.....

Conan's breath caught in his throat. "What the hell......" he murmured to himself. Somebody had gotten in his apartment. How? None of his fans had even figured out where he lived yet....but someone did. So what did he do? Call the police? No, nobody had broken in....

Conan looked around his own apartment in fear. What was going on?

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