* Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
* If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP?
* Does fuzzy logic tickle?
* If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge it with battery?
* I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
* How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
* I don't have a solution, but I admire your problem.
* If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what, exactly, is a fog horn made out of?
* If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
* Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
* I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in the bathroom.
* Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
* What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
* What WAS the best thing before sliced bread?
* If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
* Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Orientals throw hamburgers?
* Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
* Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
* Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
* Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
* Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
* Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
* Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
* Whatever happened to Absorbine Senior?