MY STORY......

I'd like to tell you a little bit about how this safe haven for De la' Resistance came about..... I am 36 years old. I am recently re-married to a wonderful man who is my partner, my best friend, and was my "sent from heaven" body guard. I was blessed with two wonderful children who are 15 years and 13 years old, and they are the lights of my life.

I grew up, like many people in a home with parents that had grown up with some abuse in their families. Being how the cycle worked, the pattern was shifted to my siblings and I growing up with abuse. My mother and real father were divorced when I was six years old. Although they loved each other very much, my father's addiction to drugs forced my mother to make a decision to leave him, with the hope that he would get some help. So my mother took me and my younger brother to live with my grandmother. By the time my father had decided to get help, my mother had met someone else who convinced her to marry him, that my real father would never be able to take care of us. Consequently, my mother re-married. She did love him, but did not realize that she was marrying a very controlling, selfish man. His abuse took the form of emotional/psychological control, and at this time my mother did not realize that she was a victim, and had set herself up for years of trying to make the realtionship work. She spent many years wondering why my step-father never seemed happy with her. Consequently, she began a pattern of emotional withdrawl, which she eventually was able to break-through.

Unbeknownst to my mother, until I revealed it many, many years later, I began to be sexually abused. This led to a pattern that was to follow for many, many years.....



I experienced may situations of sexual abuse througout my teenage years. I now know that in order to deal with it, I learned how to not"deal" with it. I married at 19years old. I had two beautiful children, they were my life. My marriage began to crumble, I felt so out of control. Eventually I left my husband. I lost custody of my children, and have fought for them ever since 1989. I have always had joint custody, until recently. The relationship with my ex-husband is volatile, if he could get away with it, he would kill me.

Enter husband number two. We met, and I fell in love right away. He was the most loving and attentive man I had ever met. We married soon after we met. After a very short time, may two months, he could no longer keep up the facade. He began to verbally and emotionally abuse me. He is very good at it, and I had not experienced this kind of abuse before. In no time he had me convinced that anything and everything was my fault. In 1995, Super Bowl Sunday, he beat me. The only reason that he stopped was because my 12yr old son burst in the room and he told my husband that if he did not stop that he was going to kill him. I know thatmy husband knew he meant it, and it scared him. We called the police, he was arrested. He moved to his parents house for a few months. He got convicted of spousal abuse. He did not have to do any time,but was ordered to go to two years of a class that was for abusive men. I stupidly, believed that he was changing. Once again, I trusted him. I let him back, and for a while he seemed to be getting better. But slowly, it started again, the only difference this time was he was even better at the abuse. The class had taught him how to abuse better. After about a year and a half, I left him. I was terrified. He had always told me that if he could not have me then neither could anyone else. The night that I told him it was over I was gang raped by people I knew. My husband was instrumental in having this done. I was drugged, raped and beaten for two days. I did remember anything. Slowly, I began to remember something. I told my only friend at that time, who is now my husband and my "guardian angel", that "I think T*** raped me...." Of course, my friend was shocked and he tried to get me to relate the details, but I could not. Needless to say, that was the beginning of the hardest journey. We went to the police. Nothing was done. These men were basically protected by the local police here. My new husband and I lost everything. My first husband used the rape as an excuse to gain custody. I was turned away from hospitals, even though I had become desparately ill from these men. My husband several times had to carry me in to the ER due to bleeding. I was told I had some kind of infection, and ovarian cysts. My records were lost, my Xrays were lost. I just about LOST my mind at that time.

I began to reach to God, because I knew He was the only one that could heal me, emotionally and physically. I began to know the love of Christ in a way that I had never known before. I knew that I had survived that rape for a reason. I began to ask God what I should do. These men were not going to go to jail for what they did to me, and they were going to do it over and over again to other women. That's when I knew that I had to help other victims. I had to find a way to help them get the support and the justice they deserved. Hence..."De la'Resistance".

God has done a miracle in my life. In a year and a half, I have become more whole and balanced than I ever have been. I have been able to let go of the hate for these men that wanted to invade my heart, my soul and my life. I know that my justice is in having A Safe Haven for De la'Resistance, a place for people who have been so tragically beaten down. A place to come and get valdidation, support and the help they need. A place that has been blessed by God to help others. That is my goal. I feel that I could get no better revenge than this.

I hope that you will find some peace and healing here. DLR is not up and running yet, but I am starting the leg work, and there is a lot. I would love to hear from you, to hear your story, offer you support, and I welcome any suggestions or help you might be able to offer. Remember, there is an abundance of faith, hope and healing for all victims of abuse. Thank you for taking the time to hear my story. Your support is a Godsend. God BLess and keep you.
WE ARE STILL UNDER CONSTRUCTION WE ARE STILL UNDER CONTRUCTION





My Hopes Are.....






Visit these other inspirational links

Holli's Story
Unbinding the Body Betrayed
Raelin's Recovery Page
Maya Angelou DedicationPage
Survivors Across America...a very important and informative web site..p
Stop the Silence...apage dedicated to stopping the abuse, please visit
Safeguarding our Children....a web site organized by the "United Mothers"
Lifting the Veil....Examing the System...please visit this site,very informative

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Email: epiphany62@excite.com