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ISSUE TWO, 4/1/99
IS ANYBODY OUT THERE?
A thought came to me yesterday as I sacrificed another day updating this news page- "Does anybody actually read this stuff!?!" I'm just kind of curious, not curious enough to set up a hit counter or anything like that. However, if you are reading these words that I am typing now let me know.
Blah, blah, blah...if nobody's reading this...I'll stop typing now.
-DKN-
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!!
THE BOOTLEG CHRONICLES
!!!
Many people have asked me where I find the unique, bizarre and sometimes horrifying bootleg toys that I do. The question is innocent enough yet the answer is almost too terrible to tell…and yet I must! Herein is the first installment of the Bootleg Chronicles, an accurate account of how I became one of the foremost bootleg hunters. Be warned that these tales are not for the weak-hearted and are strictly for those who are 16 years old or over. These tales are copyright DKN so don’t go spreading them around without my permission. Some names, locations and events have been changed to protect the innocent.
CHAPTER 1: THE BEGINNING
I was not always a bootleg hunter. There was a time in my youth when I was beginning a promising career in the entertainment industry. It was the summer and I was in New York City studying at NYU under Peter Rea. I was optimistic about the future. I had completed 6 short films and Zambawatz, a prominent neo-noir filmmaker, had offered me a role in his next film. Little did I know that my life would soon spiral downward into the pit of oblivion.
I was on my way to the set of the film "The Gardener’s Revenge" when an event occurred that would forever change the course of history. Angela, a contemptible and devious rival of mine laid a trap for me. She wanted my part in the film rewritten for her. She tried to seduce me but when I resisted her ‘charms’ she used force tactics. I overpowered her but unfortunately she had an ace up her sleeve. She knew my predisposition for unique collectibles and mentioned that she had seen a MISB Transformer Targetmaster Springer in the heart of Chinatown.
Could I believe her? Was it a trap? And Chinatown! Every brain cell screamed at me not to go. Certainly I knew the danger but I was lead by a higher power that day. Before I knew it I was swimming through the thick fiery haze of Hades itself- Chinatown! My pores wept as I sought shade but neither building nor beast cast any shadows in this place.
Just as I was about to pass out I was dragged into a dark alley and found myself staring into the eye of an Old Chinese Man. I knew instantly that this man had been to the heart of darkness and spat over the edge. He told me that he knew what I sought and lead me to a tiny dirty shop. And there I saw IT!
It was the Transformer Defensor- but no, it was also Menasor…and Superion…and Bruticus! The union between good and evil- there it stood on a brittle card- Autobot and Decepticon insignias side by side in a cross-cultural/ideological diabolical orgy!
(I fear I have already revealed too much. Therefore I shall pause and continue this tale next Month.)
-DKN-
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