Phil Hendrie's guests seem to go on forever. What they all have in common is a complete lack of sense and an ability to incense the listeners! But where would we be at night without them and the host, of course.
Roland dabbles in real estate and recently expressed his concern to Phil about the plight of the Albanian refugees. He had developed a plan to bring 8000 refugees to Orange County, specifically Newport Beach, Tustin and Irvine. Later he thought they could accept another 8000. As time went on though, it became apparent what Roland's real motives were. He wanted to evict a number of the tenants in his buildings, apartments and condos to be able to house three refugee families per residence. He was only getting about $1200 per tenant now but found out that the government would pay $2000 per refugee family. Another class guest on Phil's show.
Unfortunately, the band was all killed on April 27 when the equipment van they were travelling in went off a cliff near Big Sur. This ended Jeff's chance to play at Woodstock. Among the dead was Butter Bradley and Cliff Weaver. Also Bobby Thornton, Cat Watkins, Jocko Pastore and Findley Johnson also passed in the crash. So Jeff has decided to just be "The Darkhorse". He wrote a song calledWhen Things Go Bad in honor of his dead band mates. Now Jeff is going to open Dowder's Drum Dungeon, a school for drummers.
During the great Car Crash of 150 cars on the I 10 in Fontana, Jeff made all the stuck drivers feel much better when he let them all know they could live for three days by drinking their own urine.
During El Nino, he rode the LA River.
Last Christmas he became momentarily famous for thwarting a woman who was shoplifting a purse from a retail department store. He clotheslined her as she ran by him. He was later disappointed that the store manager did nothing to reward him for doing that. He had expected a $5000 reward.
Jeff is also a great roller coaster fan and belongs to a group called Coaster Mania. This group with over 5000 members looks for great coaster rides all over the world. Jeff felt that they found it in Columbus Ohio at Jubilee Park with a coaster called DefCon 1 which uses gravity boots and hangs you upside down.
Jeff is a great wresting fan and former professional wrestler named "Saddle Tramp" who wrestled in the SWA, Southwestern Wrestliing Association. Jeff spoke with Phil after Owen Hart of the WWF was killed in Kansas City. Doubter, true to his name, refused to believe that Hart had actually died. He said it was just another stunt or theatrics of the WWF. Wrestlers hit their heads on turnbuckles all the time and they are specially padded.
They had the seniors act as various presidents and other historical figures. One man who had Altzheimer's Disease played Ronald Reagan walking around totally lost. Another female senior who was extremely ugly played Eleanor Roosevelt. A man on crutches had his crutches taken away and played Gerald Ford falling down and bringing great laughs, according to Devore.
Perhaps what brought the most uproar from callers was the poor man who played Ben Franklin. He was a patient who frequently has electrical shock treatment. In order to make his portrayal realistic, Clara wired him up to a car battery and gave him a few jolts to "wig out his hair like Ben Franklin's after he discovered electricity." As Clara stated,"Since he was used to electric shock, this car battery thing was no big deal to him." Callers were appalled at such cruel treatment of seniors. Clara suggested to one shocked caller that the caller's father who had recently had a stroke might be able to play FDR next year in the pageant.
One caller pointed out that he thought Clara was a fake because she had called in several months ago with a similar scheme for retarded kids. This caller wanted to let Phil know because he knew Phil would never tolerate a fake caller or guest!! Clara smoothed over his accusations by saying that the Joyful Union Senior Facility also works with retarded kids. It is great knowing that Phil's listeners are so concerned over the possibility of such a scam!! It is what makes Phil's fans so great.
Lloyd was enfuriated that he was harassed during the Gas Boycott. As a Korean War Veteran, he did not feel any one had the right to tell him anything. Actually, Lloyd is always full of himself as a Korean War veteran who was injured when an ammo site blew up injuring his foot. Lloyd was very upset about the three POW's getting all this attention. Bonifi could not believe that they received the Purple Heart and five other medals just for not being able to read a map and getting captured. His constant referral to the three war heroes as "monkeys" caused an uproar among Phil's listeners.
Other things bother Lloyd also. He was recently cut off on the road by a car with one of those Christian fish metal things on the back of the car. He was so upset that he followed the car and when it parked pried the fish off. He started doing it to all the "fish monkeys" that did not act Christian.
Because of his outrage about the controversial Calvin Klein ads in New York, Lloyd organized protests against Klein's pornographic use of children. In February he asked people to come to Alhambra Youth Center and bring their Calvin Klein underwear. They held a bonfire to burn CK underwear in protest. To further protest Calvin Klein, Bonifi wanted all people to not wear any underwear . He directed all thirty of his employees to not wear underwear!! Lloyd told Phil that it was pretty obvious to tell if his male employees are complying. Lloyd used one of his five foot pipes to surreptiously lift the skirts of his female employees to ensure their compliance with the protest. You can imagine the calls!
Chris Norton is a 28 year old Redondo Beach pharmaceutical salesman who also has run a mobile DJ business. He truly believes that he is God's gift to women since he thinks he is extremely good looking. He has been with many, many women. As Chris says, women can't keep their hands off of him. Unfortunately, it may have cost him his job at the pharmaceutical company. He had been there three months when his boss fired him. Chris didn't understand why. He was making $6,000 a month and had brought in over $3000 worth of sales in those three months. Most salesmen who called in told him that could be a good reason to terminate him. Then Chris talked about being at a party at his boss' house and being in the boss' bedroom making a phone call when the boss' wife walked in from the shower with just a towel wrap. She was turned on with Chris and it seems Chris took advantage of the situation. He also was hitting on the females at the office or as he said they were hitting on him.
Chris is an aspiring adult film producer. Chris is proud to say that he has the largest adult video collection in Southern California. Chris also loves visiting web sites of naked mature women. He recently was run out of a cyber cafe for accessing these sites while at the public net cafe. Chris was particularly upset that they not only threw him out but did not give him back his money.
He is currently feuding with his roommate Craig. Chris likes the apartment to be at 80 degrees. Chris does most of his amorous activity with all these females on Craig's furniture to the disgust of the callers and Craig, of course!
Chris spoke on Phil's show recently on the subject of marrying foreigners allowing them to get into the United States. Chris had been asked to marry the sister of a British friend of his. He was willing but since he was forced to remain married for three years he felt he should hve marital rights during those three years. But he didn't feel he needed to inform the girl first of his beliefs. Both Phil and the callers gave Chris an earful but then that is par for the course when Chris is on.
Robert Green, restauranteur extraordinaire and owner of The Window Restaurant in Pasadena was a recent guest on Phil's show. Mr. Green automatically adds a 10% gratuity to every customer's bill, a practice he insists is legal in California. Green does not believe the customer is always right and believes the customer should pay what tip he tells them to pay. One recent customer's experiences resulted in his refusing to pay the gratuity. The restaurant had run out of his first few entree choices so Mr. Green took the liberty of ordering what he felt the customer should eat, a lean meat, because the customer was "way too overweight." When the customer complained about the slow service, Mr. Green told him, "Fat man...cool your jets, pal. You don't look like you have missed too many meals. You are not going to starve any time soon!" The customer was further demeaned when Mr. Green and his staff waved butter and a dish of sour cream under the customer's nose say, "It smells pretty good, doesn't it?" The customer later told police that he was further embarrassed when Mr. Green yelled to him across the room, "Unbutton your slacks, tubbo, and have a Tab!" and "There's always room for mousse and with your size you could keep the mousse in business for years!" and the final insult, "Yo, big guy, pudding, I got some pudding here."
As the disgruntled and demeaned customer left without paying his bill, Green and his employees rallied around the dessert table taunting the man with German chocolate cake! As is always the case on Phil's show, the listeners were enraged and expressed their feelings against Mr. Green.
Bob also works for a tax preparation company in Newport Beach and held a special show with Phil on April 14. You can guess his solid advice to the callers.
Green also dabbles in real estate. He is trying to sell a $350,000 home in Valencia but is having a hard time, he believes, because the little 8 year old girl next door draws in chalk all over the street. Bob says he is non-confrontational (actually a passive-aggressive) but one night after drinking a lot he urinated all over the drawings and erased them. Now he is shocked that the little girl is writing "Don't buy the house next door" on the street! A real classy guest!!
Bob Green has also gotten a group together in Santa Monica, The Pacific Coast Stadium Partnership. Their prime purpose is to compete against Ovitz and the LA Coliseum group to bring a professional football team to Santa Monica. He plans on getting funding by demanding $10 from the over 8 million people in Southern California. His demanding manner caused great furor with the listeners. The team will be called the Los Angeles Tan. He is also hoping to convince all the Hispanics who all presently support the Raiders to come over to his team. These racist beliefs created even more furor!!
Austin Amarca, a second generation American, is engaged to Susan Welton, who refuses to take his last name when they wed. He is demanding she sign a pre-nup to assume his name upon marriage. She wants to keep her last name to maintain her bloodline and name as she has no siblings. Amarca says his name is a very honorable name going back in Switzerland over 600 years. Although listeners suggested she hyphenate, Austin says he is totally opposed to hyphenation. He wants her to inherit his vast wealth in Europe including a big castle in Lucerne. But she won't without his name, pure and simple! After much conversation and many enraged callers, it became obvious that Amarca's fantasy is to take her virginity against the moss-covered walls of the castle.
Amarca owns a machine shop in Lancaster and since having a heart attack four years ago, has had a dream of canoeing across America. In March he will attempt to get into the Guinness Book of Records by doing just that in a one-man canoe from LA to NY. Although Amarca was able to handle all the callers who explained the impossibility of doing that based on available waterways, it was Phil's question about how he planned on urinating that caused him to lose it on the air.
Amarca also belongs to an organization that is proposing that the United States return to being a colony of Great Britain. He says that our country was much better off when we were a colony!!
Amarca's heritage is quite diversified. He is of Native American descent too. Back in 1996, Amarca was a heavy drinker ( bad for Indians) and heroin and meth abuser. One day in July of that year, Amarca was abducted by aliens who took him aboard their air craft from his car while he was on Highway 14 in Santa Clarita. He later sold the story to the Central California Reader and then had a book deal for which he received 10,000 dollars. The only problem is that several years later he discovered dental bills indicating that he really had been at the dentist for root canals on the day of his alleged abduction. The "aliens" he had seen were actually his USC educated dentist and his assistant. He was so high that he did not realize where he was. Of course now the publishers want their money back. Amarca did not think that was right.
Amarca, as a Native American, strongly favored the right of Indians to hunt whales as provided by federal law. The controversy was over the killing by Indians of a whale named JJ who had been released in to the wild by Sea World. Phil's approach to stopping this killing was to name every whale. Amarca was appalled with that approach by Phil.
Amarca is also the only known person to have Downs Syndrome as a child which went into remission when he turned 18.
Brass is constantly being harassed by LAPD, CHP and LA County Sheriff's for his truck, a Suzuki Samurai because he has it lower than legally allowed by the California Vehicle Code. He was stopped 6 times in the last month. Brass has his truck lowered to remind him of what it means to be a Latino male. The truck is 2 inches lower than legal limits. He claims it is essential to have a lowered truck as part of his cultural expression. He also has purple tail lights rather than red ones! As Brass says, "You must be close to the ground if you are brown!"
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