1. You arrive to the party with a group of 10 or more other guys (in Honda's
of course!).
2. You are wearing Plaid or Flannel Shirt w/ a pair of jeans, Doc Martin's,
and a white shirt underneath.
3. The line at the door is short with mostly guys (approx 90% guys/ 10% girls).
4. You don't mind if any girl cuts in front of you even they are ugly. If
a guy cuts, you want to start a fight.
5. You hair contains two bottles of mousse, one tube of gel, and one can
of hair spray in case one strand gets out of place.
6. You are either bald or you have a 2 hour old fade.
7. Your pants are sagging, a pager is always in the right front pocket snapped
on backwards, and your car alarm remote is hanging out in the left front
pocket.
8. You stare at every girl at the party, but never approach any ofthem.
9. You hope the girl you've been looking at, knows one of your friends and
then you will say "Hook Me UP!".
10. Gets a woody if a cute girl happens to look at you and smile
11. As you come into the party, you say "what's up" to a guy friend with
some sort of hand shake and it always end with a finger snap.
12. You've smoked approx. 3 packs of Marlboro Lights before the night is
over.
13. You start to ask for cigarettes off of friends after your 3 packs cuz
you think it will kill off the buzz from drinking 1/2 cup of 8oz. beer.
14. You take about 2 hours to ask a girl to dance and by the time you get
enough nerves to go up to her, one of her guy friends beat you to it. And
you end up "Muggin" (that's the look of someone who wants to start a fight)
that guy for the rest of the night and you keep tellin your friends that
"she's dancin' with a chump".
15. You end up settling for dancin with one of your girlfriends who doesn't
look as good, have any kind of a body, or have any kind of rhythm (she's
just nice).
16. You come to the party all pumped up and by the time it's time to go home,
you say "that party was weak! there was hella ugly girls" just cuz you didn't
hook up with anybody even though there was some fine ass girls.
If you are a girl:
1. You try to arrive a little late cuz you know that you get to cut somewhere
in the lines as long as you look half decent and you reveal a little bit
of your "size A" breasts with your "Wonder Bra"
2. You never bring any money cuz you'll usually get in free by flirting with
the guys at the door and suckers always buy you drinks.
3. You order Midori Sours and Kamikaze's.
4. You are wearing baggy jeans with a black "bebe, Calvin Klein, Kenneth
Cole, or DKNY" baby doll shirt.
5. High heeled black boots and a mini black back pack always are a part of
your party attire.
6. Some article of clothing is always black.
7. You play with your hair when you try to get a cute guy's attention.
8. You introduce yourself in the following manner: Your Name, Some Greek
Alphabets, Your University, and "Nice to Meet You!".
9. You only acknowledge people who is also wearing articles of clothing with
some sort of Greek Alphabets.
10. Get very angry when you see your cute guy freakin (dancin very nastily
for those who needs the translation) with another girl who is wearing less
clothes and more revealing than you.
11. You go nuts when you hear "Bizarre Love Triangle" by New Order about
to come on. You start to move your hips to the song, as you smile and make
your self approachable. You wait 30 seconds as you look around and find out
everyone is out there dancin'. You get desperate, then you lower your standards
by asking the guy whom which you turned down 3 times that nite to dance.
12. When that guy turns you down cuz he thought you were a bitch for turning
him down 3 times, you get a few of your girl friends who also went through
#11, and you all dance together in a group.
The Party in General:
1. Ladies in free before 9:00, then when 9:00 comes around, it becomes free
before 10:00, til it's free all nite.
2. The guys at the door get a hard on (or a woody) when a group of girls
flirts with them to get in free.
3. The guys in line start to say "Damn, did you see that bitch, she was fine.
That's Me dogg, That's all ME!".......................and do nothing about
it!..........then, at the end of the nite he saids "she wasn't all dat, I
saw her close up and damn, it looks like someone stepped on her face and
kept walkin!" Cuz he didn't hook up wit her.
4. Male or female won't approach one another unless they know one of your
friends in your group.
5. The only rap songs you recognize are: Hip Hop Hooray and Baby Got Back.
6. Most of the people who are dancin have no rhythm. None what so ever.
7. Guys ask girls to dance in a group. 2 on 2, 3 on 3, 8 on 8... "hey, you
wanna dance? how many friends you got? We got 8 too!" "come on girl, stop
frontin!" "We just gonna dance".
8. The bar never makes any money.
9. The whole dance floor is doing the "Cha Cha" when "Bizarre Love Triangle"
is on.
10. Smokers be smokin up a storm.
11. Everyone looks like they are 16 if it's a 18 and over party; people look
17 if it's a 21 and over.
12. A few guys who actually finished the 8 oz beer are hugging the trash
can.
13. When the slow song comes on, it's a Que. for the single people to leave
and go outside. Like the outside scene would give you a better chance of
hooking up.
14. The pony keg is still half full.
How to prepare before going to an asian
party:
1. Buy hair products at Costco.
2. Buy cigarettes at Costco.
3. Go to the barber shop or a friend who really knows how to cut hair, exactly
two hours before the expected arrival time and ask for a "FADE".
4. Have plenty of flannels handy and washed cuz you don't want to be wearing
the same color plaid as your friends. (This way, there will be a variety
of plaids to choose from).
5. Practice the following at home: your attitude, do your hair, sag your
pants, try on every color of your plaid shirts, work on your alcohol tolerance
by drinking 1oz of beer and increasing one oz a week, go to "bebe" for a
$50 black tee shirt, learn how to do the "Cha Cha".
6. Practice to check out a girl or a guy without staring for an hour. (half
a second should be your goal).
7. Fix up your Honda's.
8. Don't forget your pager since it is a part of your party attire (remember
in the right front pocket backwards). Borrow one or just use one even if
it's turned off.
9. Cellular Phones goes in the right/left back pocket.
10. Learn the finger snap hand shake.
11. Finally, learn and know the Greek Alphabet by heart.
