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Welcome to Matt's Army Humor!
Barbed wire
DEPARTMENT OF THE STORK
Headquarters, U.S. Army Baby Brigade
Fort Obstetrics, Texas 76544

ORDERS 185-27                                                              15 February 1995

1. LASTNAME, Firstname, 000-01-BABY, Headquarters, U.S. Army Baby Brigade, Fort Hood, Texas 76544.

You will proceed on permanent change of station as indicated.

Assigned to: Rnk. Parents names, address, Fort Hood, Texas 76544 Alpha Company 20th Engineer Battalion.
Reporting Date: Birthdate
Additional Instructions:
(a) You are required to report to parents serving your new duty station before you make arrangements for renting, leasing, or purchasing any off-post housing.
(b) You will be raised as directed by parents IAW Army dependant traditions pending attainment of legal age. All references to nautical terms/customs are unnauthorized.
(c) You are not eligible to draw BAQ or BAS.
(d) You will refrain from drawing rations between the hours of 2330 through 0600 after six months at your new duty station.

FOR FAMILY USE:
Auth: Mother Nature                                               PMOS/PSSI: sex
Asgn to Mgt Deg: NA                                              Enl/Reenl Indic: NA
Acct Class: Dad's Paycheck                                     Ppd: NA
MDC: 1A08                                                             Proj Specialty: relation
Perm con co: RMETM 2006                                    Height:
Control Specialty: Water Supply                             Weight:
Format: 27002885

FOR THE COMMANDER:

B.B. MAKER
MAJ,  MSC
CHIEF OF DELIVERY

DISTRIBUTION:
1 ea Family
1 ea Friends