"Pssst..... Bill, it's me Monica, I had to see you".

As he leaves Palm Sunday Mass holding this symbolice palm franze, President Clinton can't help

wondering what they would feel like being whiped across his ass.

As the meeting went on, President Clinton made a mentle note to tell Madline Albright to buy a

pair of fu**ing pants.

And as Bill playfully whispers "Hey little guy, how did ya get out of the barn?" Secratary Estate Albright

realizes she now owes Paula Jones a sincere apology.

Speaking to reporters about the Kosovo situation this week, Defense Secretary William Cowan was

unaware that during his entire speech Joint Chief's Chairman Henry Shelton was behind him watching

two pigeons fight over a french frie.

This week Senator Slate Gordon asked Congress for more money to put meat on his skull.

In a moment of reflection, National Security Advisor Sandy Burger wonders why no one ever

came up with a way for you to eat while your sleeping.

As his new minister of Agriculture wips his nose on the sleeve of Boris Yeltsin's jacket for the 5th

time, Yeltsin reminds himself to stop giving out cabinet posts to guys he mets in bars.

Once a year only, select share holders get to met the founder of General Electric, General Danny Electric.

Taking a break from disussing how much they hate the United States, Russian Prime Minister

Yuvgimmy Premicaff and Serbian President Serobidon Lamosivige do a surprisingly good impression of

Archy and Edith Bunker.

The State Depart Inishly Scoffed at there offer, but with very few diplomatic auctions open to them,

they finally agreed to let ZeZe Top try to talk sense into Malosivige.

Man she is hot, now where they hell did I put that toppee?

While the rest of the class learned about aquadic life, little Artero was busy making sweet

sweet love to the camera.

As unbelieveable as it might seem, here we see the winner of Tiland's Annual Miss Tansvestite Contest on

sunday, to the left is Miss Congeneality and to right, Miss Biggest Cock.

The conditions had to be just right for Sally to reach orgasm.

Employees at the old Navy store in the Beverly Center were surprised this week when Jesus Christ

came in, tried over a hundred pair of jeans on, and left without buying anything.

"Hey kids, Mr. and Mrs. Easter Bunny have to take the 50 stinkin' bucks we got paid for this sh** gig and

go get drunk now, see you next year."

AND FINALLY,

"Come on everybody now, BLOWJOBS BLOWJOBS BLOWJOBS BLOWJOBS.