After the 4th take in which the president said, "You blow Slovejo", the cameraman

told everybody to take five.

Although she is a devout Methadist, while visiting a mosce in Tonesha, Hilary Clinton

has to admit that any religion that makes young women cover up from head to toe and

punishs adultry with death is cannot be all bad.

As General Henry Shelton mumbles "Plane go boom boom" "Plane go boom boom" over

and over, Defense Secretary William Cowan assures reporters he'll snap out of it on his own.

When he wanted to easdrop on a conversation, Intearer Secretary Bruce Babit's method of

consealing himself with woufully inadquit.

Pennslyvania Govoner Tommy Rigges tour of Europe pretty much consisted of him angryly

shouting "How buys this SH**".

Monica Lewinsky suddenly realized that going on a book signing tour meant serval more

months of having things shoved in your face.

"What was Mr. Magoo's first name? It's on the tip of my tongue, augh man this goin' bug me

all day, MAGOO MAGOO?"

Russian President Boris Yeltsian angerily condemned the bombing of Serbia by Nato forces

this week calling it the most unforgivible violation of a sovern nation that he could ever overlook

for $50 bucks cash.

Yogoslavian U.N. Representative Latislave Yovanivich wishes he had used a fake name when

he called MTV's love line with Dr. Drew with his can a forskin be too long question.

Knowing the pained look on a visiting American's face well, Mexican President Arnesto Zedo

shakes hands with Pennslyvania Govoner Ridge, just hard enough to make 'em Sh** in his pants

a little.

Whenever Israilie President Benjamin Netin Yahoo makes a particarly aggressive statement, his

top aid Bert likes to renforce it by explaining by saying "Your God dam right" while pugnashly

adjusting his collar.

If you need Viagra and don't want to pay the retail prices, Discount Joe has something he says works about

the same as long as you don't mind going deaf in one ear.

Though now a wildly successful film director with a loving family, former Andy Griffith star Ron Howard often

flashes on a fant supressed memory of a seen where for some reason where he had to take a bath with Floyd

the barber.

Here Britain's Queen Elizabeth recieves a warm greeting from her second in command Lord Rim Job.

International observers say they have little faith in the effectiveness of the Bogita Columbia's Witness

Relocation Program.

AND FINALLY,

Kurt's neighbor's dog had shit on Kurt's lawn for the last time.