"See that phone booth on the corner? I got blown in there once."

"Say Buddy, Hilary's in Kirose, how's about we get ourselfs a couple

of bit**s this weekend?"

Describing work on his new presidental library, President Clinton says he has a file

of phone numbers from Woafull House waitresses yah big that hasn't even been put

on the microfish machine yet.

During his visit to the U.S. last week, Irish Prime Minister Burby Iahern was shocked

when President Clinton took him to a topliss Irish Pub and spent $200 dollars on lap jigs.

And this week President Clinton received a Honorary Night Hood from the little known

country of East Poon Tangea.

On a White House News Conference on friday, the President was slightly taken a back when

Paula Jones and Monica Lewinsky entered through a side door, kissed each other pationately

for 30 seconds, gave him the finger, and left.

Though known for his compassion, President Clinton has little patience for first time stripers

having second thoughts.

"Castrating bit**". "Cheating Bastard".

"So Rafic, your father was a metal crafter and his father before him too,

Why doesn't my husband find me attractive?"

Still the loyal Vice President, it's part of Al Gore's job to babysit the dozen or

so kids who come to the White House every day claiming Bill Clinton is there father.

Throwing out her prepared speech, Tipper Gore addressed the Naddow Led Peace Keepers

in Sariavo by saying "Man, this place is fu**ed up!"

Here we see Defense Secretary William Cowan who is addicted to Chinese brown harown.

As he is presented with the man of the decade award by the American Ireland Fund earlier this week,

Ted Kennedy wonders if he could trade for a shot of Kutty at the bar across the street.

Goreman was a rediscent man until they proposed cast changes on Babylon 5.

Looking into the fold at the air a top of Yoso Airphat's head dress, French President

Shac Shrok is startled to see a selection of freshly baked dinner rolls.

Benny was generally regarded as a bad Jew.

"ATTENTION LADIES, My name is Barry Skullnick and I love you".

Donald's wife often sent him e-mails that were less than suttle.

AND FINALLY,

Follow the horny brick road

Follow the horny brick road