After telling President Clinton that his eldised daughter is pregnant, Nicarawgwa President

Arnoldo Alamon swears he heard Clinton say "Oh SH**".

Danton Ohio Mayor Skim Tatershaw was never prouder than when President Clinton proclaimed

his wife Mavis offically doible.

"Like is not a strong enough word, I love blowjobs, I want to marry blowjobs, I want to be

Mr. Bill Blowjob."

"Well Mrs. Clinton, I was just going to call it Snowman and Kitty Cat but we could call it

all men are lying, cheating bastards if you like."

In Miami this week, Vice President Al Gore's attempt to court the lateno vote was thworted

when he some how hired an interperter who's only words of Spanish were "How much for

a threeway?".

Whenever he visits his brother-in-law Teri in Scranton Pennyslvania, Defense Secretary

William Cowen always wonders what the fu**s his problem?

With a full dose of Viagra coursing through his body, and his wife Litta way on the

campaign trail, Bob Dole tries to convince Secretary of State Madiline Albright that

the view of the sunset while bent over the railing of his hotel balcony is truely spectacklur.

A former Men's Wear model for the JC Penney Catalog, Anthony now makes a comfertible

living doing photoups with white Republicans.

Senator Barbara Boxer can't get over how different Tom Doshal looks when he's not

wearing a leather mask and lapping water from a steel bowl at her feet.

"Ok, so that's four bigmacs, ten quarter pounders, (laughing)  You want fries with that bad lady?"

"Ah that's a great story sir, but I blew the President, do you want your book signed or not?"

From the minute he got to basic training, all Tram could think about was how his best friend

Kquang winked when he promised to take care of his girlfriend.

Struck by a rare fascial poralises in the middle of a yawn, Mr. Ling was forced to go through

life greeting people with the words," No, I'm not tired, I'm the victim of a rare fascial poralises.

Two blocks away from the bank and snarled in rush hour traffic, Roy knew the getaway bus

was a bad idea.

There were some at the funeral who thought San Joy was taking the death of his wife a little

to well.

"Darin, What are you doing down there in the basement? It's time for dinner hunny".

Clarissa didn't know who is was, but each day when she came to work, there was

more sperm in the culture dish than when she left the night before.

If you never receive your Burpies Seed Catalog, it's because Melba thinks there

for quiers and throws them away.

Rob dated a lot of women who didn't even know it.

AND FINALLY,

Whenever Bill Clinton sees a big breasted women from the podeam, he pulls his hand

out like a train wissel and yells WOOOOOHHHHH WOOOOOOHHHHHHH.