During a press conference this week, President Clinton honored female

reporters requests that he keep his hands where they can see them at all times.

And on a visit to spring training, Clinton and Arizona's Diamond Backs Pitcher

Randy Johnson swop stories about being on the mound.

And at a presidental meeting with California Govoner Gray Davis, an interpreter had to

be hired who could translate dull into horny.

Meeting with President Clinton in the Oval Office this week, Senator Trent Loot suddenly

realizes that he forgot to put down a paper towel or something before he decided to sit down

on the couch.

And a joint news conferece this week, President Clinton could only go along with the joke when

the president of Gana, Jerry John Rollings kept referring to him as Mr. Push Push.

"Hey, your the president of Gana right ?, well guess who's gonna get a blow job tonight."

Senator Tom Doshal didn't know what U.N. Secratary General Coffe Anan was doing in

his office, only he knew was all of his paper clips were missing and there was the unmistakible

smell of marawana.

Senator Chris Dode likes to grab his listeners attention early by greeting them with a bombing

"Good evening bastards and hores".

"Well, if you ever do become citizens, just remember I'm Bill Bradley, I'd like your vote."

Oh, so that's what a beating heart feels like, thank you Mr. Chinese Guy.

Gang way        BLUB BLUB!!!!!!!!!!!

And German Chancleir Gerhard Shroder didn't know where the spit ball came from

but he suspected the grinning Rabi at the end of the table.

Hans swore that next time he would check references before getting a face lift.

Trying to be cool, officer Pete showed a high school class just where to tape the M80

on the turtle to do max damage before he was led away by the principal.

Dimetres was known as the Micheal Jackson of the cat world.

To Betty, if you ever ruthlissly kill a loved one and want to get out scott free,

call me Johnny Cockran.

No one goes quite as far as the Jenson family when it comes to picking up a

relative at the airport.

AND FINALLY,

"DON'T YOU GET IT ? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I NEED SOME HEAD".