"The whole truth and nothing but the truth, that's priceless,

read that to me again."

"Look me in the eye William, WILLIAM, look at me, up here,

come on, look me in the eye."

"Here's the church, here's the stepple, open the doors and see all the

people, my no good rat bastard husband has slept with."

"Oww, I hope you feel better now Hilary because that really hurt."

"Of course Mr. President, the new Swim Suit issue is in my bathroom,

go ahead and knock yourself out."

Sitting in the church with wife Tipper last sunday, Al Gore suddenly remembers

he left his President Al Gore name plate on Bill Clinton's desk last night.

"Psst.. Monica it's me Bill, don't mind the hat and the black face, it a disguise."

Amusing at first but soon growing werie some, is Senator John Broows habit of

responding to everything by saying "Your fu**i*g  sh*t**' me right?"

And here Senator Patrick Layhe sees Senator Jesse Helmes across the room and

greats him accordingly.

Senator Chris Dowds speaks to the press while Senator Byrin Dorgin swears there

is a little man in Dowds ear waving to him.

And here Senator Phil Gram shows reporters why he's never commited adultry.

And almost missing the vote this morning was Senotor Charles Shoemere who

waited for 3 hours before relizing it was a stair case and not an escalater.

Seen here finishing a round of golf, Dan Quail says one day he would like to shoot

his own IQ. Quail then began screaming and trying to run a way from the scary bunny

he thinks is crawling on his sweater.

The rest of the girls at the mosation parlier were in aww the way Gwen never gave up

on her elderly clients.

Though it's tipplicly a sommer British royal ceremony Prince Charles can't help but smile

during the dayly changing of the stick up his ass.

Philbert's motivational speeches always came to a grinding halt whenever he looked out

in the parking lot and saw his third wife Lean banging one of the ballas.

Pappy's solow of Vogner's Ride of the Valcarise was usually followed by requests for

fresh underwear.

And now boys and girls, smerin' of Vodca's proud to present Mr. Yeltson's Neighborhood.

Brent had absolutely, positively, no intension of even accidently getting laid.

AND FINALLY,

On tuesday Linda Trip tessified in the Clinton impeachment trial.