1. If the size ratio between housecats and humans were reversed, we would be their little snackies in a New York minute. This is why, although I like dogs better than I like cats, I respect cats more.
2. At a certain point, in order to really savor the relationship, you have to let go of the generational thing with your relatives. When you're all grown up, you can stop worrying about getting your parents' approval. Also, keep in mind that sibling rivalry is really, really unattractive among adults.
You can also lighten up on your grown kids. This way, you get to enjoy them as people with whom you have a true intimacy, but move away from functions that don't work any more, such as one adult telling another adult how to live her life. Cut the kid some slack, expect and offer the same level of respect as with your best friend, and you will be amazed at how much satisfaction living with this new outlook brings you.
3. I realize that the above item is about as hard to believe as, say, the possibility of getting through an afternoon in a Tijuana cafe without hearing the word "corazon" on the radio behind the counter, but you're really going to have to trust me. Been there (on both counts).
4. Everyone else has dark secrets too. You'd probably be amazed and entertained by what someone else thinks is shamefully weird about himself, but you probably won't find it out anyway, because he's taking the fact that he looks at his boogers to the grave.
5. In the long run, the size and shape of your body parts doesn't matter as much as you think it does. I had a next-door neighbor once whose severely crooked teeth and sweet personality were the first things I noticed about her.
Six months later, I said, "What crooked teeth?"
And if you're worried about being too fat or too thin or too tall or too short to find a mate, remember that everyone is someone else's sexual preference, it's just that sometimes people are too shy to tell you that till they get to know you better.
6. A corollary to that last one: on Talk Radio you are as good looking as what you have to say. This is the finest modern example of "Beauty Is As Beauty Does." Remember that the next time you're tempted to misinterpret the Bible and bash anyone over the airwaves.
7. You think you're limited by circumstance, you're too whatever to go for what you want? Yeah? Really?
Well, legless vets are learning to ski ~ no kidding, I saw it in the Readers Digest! And my very own Mom went back to college and got her RN, in her fifties. ...Me? I was a saucy cover girl for a national men's magazine at age 48 and 325 pounds. (I got some interesting ~ and very nice ~ letters out of that one, and I still think it was one of my greatest breakouts from self-prejudice.)
End of Pontification Section. On To The Links!
UNO........... Mike Hiller's Page. He made my toon, he's a wonderful storyteller, and I'm gonna marry him.
DOS.......... The BEST search engine on the Net, I am not kidding.
TRES......... Do you still say stuff like "What a pretty face, such a shame you're so fat!" Wow. OK, click here, somebody will thank you for it.
CINCO....... I'll take Link #5 for a thousand, Alex.
SEIS...........That movie, you know, with that guy...?
SIETE........ Having a little trouble translating these numbers?
OCHO....... Smartypants!
NUEVE..... Make something nice for Mom to stick on her cyber-refrigerator.
DIEZ.......... People seem to like collecting (and redesigning!) my old homepages... here's one of them.
