Joanne

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Since the lovely Joanne first appeared on the airwaves at the start of last season, thousands of of people across the country have been glued to the best soap opera since Joe Mangle left Neighbours. For weeks, this has been the talk of the internet, with rumours and red herrings in abundance. This is my attempt to bring together all the information that I have gathered from the Internet and from the shows themselves and have them all in one plaace. Read through it and draw your own conclusions (feel free to tell me them via E-Mail or the message board). And if there is anything here which I have done wrongly or missed out, then please tell me.

After a year of obscurity, this page has finaly been updated due mainly to some negative comments both here and on the unofficial Danny Baker site. However now that the updates are done I am proud to say that I can bring you some exclusive news on Joannes latest conquests. I have also been in communication with Danny Kelly on this subject. You can rest assured that any new information that I receive will be up on this site for you within six months!


The Prime Suspects

Manager : Brian Little

500 Manager : Walter Smith

Beau 1 : Simon Grayson

Beau 2 : Steve Walsh

Beau 3 : Robbie Savage

The Unofficially Titled Beau 4 : Duncan Ferguson

The Unofficially Titled Beau 5 : David Unsworth


The begining of the tale.


Joanne worked behind the bar at a Premiership club for two years. We do not know when, but can presume it to be inside the last five years.


During that time, she had a "relationship" with three members of the back four (all married) and a manager.


The name of the club included the letters "E" and "I". Therefore it is one of Charlton Athletic, Leicester City, Liverpool, Manchester United, Newcastle United, Nottingham Forest, Sheffield Wednesday, West Ham United or Wimbledon.


We know that it is a former manager who is involved, and that he now works outside the Premiership, (both bits of info thanks to Danny Kelly). This means that we can pretty much remove from the reckoning Charlton (unless it is Gritt), Liverpool (can't be Souness as Jo was driven to see him and Souness manages Benfica!), Man Utd, Forest, West Ham and Wimbledon. This leaves the only candidates as Leicester (Brian Little - not Mark Mcghee though as he is unemployed) and Newcastle (Kevin Keegan). Danny Baker originally thought the manager was someone other than who it is and was disappointed as the actually manager is not as high profile as the one he thought it was. This would seem to rule out Keegan (definatley high profile) and leave Little as the only candidate (Danny B probably thought the manager was Martin O'Neill). If we needed any more proof of Little's involvement then it came with the whole "brother" bombshell that Jo dropped (Brian Little's Stoke had played Alan Little's York that day and did anyone really believe the hasty backtracking that Danny K was making??)


So, we know the club is Leicester and the manager is Brian Little, so on to the players. Ths bit is a lot harder unfortunatly, and all I have is the clues:


Beau 1

A defender who now plays for a new club "only a car ride away". Some people think that this means from the Talk Radio studios in London, but I think this means from the old club (Leicester).


In her second call to the show, Jo says that she likes "the more mature man" whilst talking about Beau 1, although this doesn't really help much.


He isn't a first team regular but has been playing recently


Candidates : Spencer Prior (now at Derby), Simon Grayson (Aston Villa)


Beau 2


Still plays in defence for Leicester, and presumably when Beau 1 was there as they seem (intimatly) close.


Gave Jo 50 to "get something fluffy". (this gets us no nearer to finding his identity but is still a line which would make even Darren Anderton cringe.


Once scored at Wembley.


Candidates : Whoever out of Pontus Kaamark, Robbie Savage, Rob Ullathorne, Steve Walsh and Matt Elliot has scored at Wembley. I know that Walsh has, and that Danny K once said how Jo has missed out on the defender renowned for his "legandary masculinity" (rumoured to be Matt Elliot).


Beau 3


Very little is known about this player, except that Jo finds him gorgeous (doesn't mean too much though!) and he plays with Beau 2, who he has apparently fallen out with over her.


So what else do we know which can narrow down the search? Beau 1 is apparently on the verge of a move abroad. It seems unlikey to be Spencer Prior for two reasons. Firstly, I remember him playing for Southend. And secondly because he only just moved to Derby. This would make Beau 1 Simon Grayson. This would probably rule Ullathorne out as Beau 2 as I don't think they ever played together. If any further clarification were needed then we know that Beau's 1 & 2 played against each other on 24/10/98 (the day of Villa v Leicester).


A few further beans have been spilt over the weeks, not least the "coach" incident the day after Jo met Danny Baker. Leicester played West Ham at Upton Park that Saturday. Also, Jo was at the TFI Friday studios a few weeks later with one of the beaus. Incidently, Neil Ruddock was also there, sparking several rumours. However, I am sure that this isn't relevant.


The Inside Information


During the course of my investigations, I have come into contact with an eye witness who has been able to confirm the names of several of the guilty parties. I have been asked not to reveal her name but I will say that she used to work with Joanne (and Helen the dancer) at a Premiership Club. That club was Leicester City and the Manager was Brian Little. The relationship began with Little giving Jo a lift home one night and intially lasted for several months after Little left Leicester for Aston Villa, until Little's wife Heather found out (although it appears that this wasn't the end of things). Little apparently tried it on with quite a few of the barstaff although Jo got drunk one night and said that he was dull in bed! Jo's nickname for him is "The Great Bear"!!!


Beau 1 is confirmed as Simon Grayson. They first slept together in his car in the carpark at Filbert Street following Leicester's League Cup semi-final victory over Wimbledon a few years ago (earning both of them an official warning from the club)


Helen dances at a club near "Cream" in Liverpool where she has been dancing for Walter Smith at 500 a time. At some point in the last year Jo slept with Duncan Ferguson and now she has is involved with David Unsworth.

Email: anthony.cameron@virgin.net