LEO

Theeeey're GREAT!


Symbol: The Lion
Birthstones: Sardonyx, Amber, Ruby
Colors: Gold, Orange, Red

Leo the lion is a very prestigious sign. Leos are usually large, since they are so full of themselves. Leos hate it when they step on thorns and have to resort to asking mice to pull them out. I tell ya, if I had a nickle for every time that happened, I wouldn't be writing these idiotic horoscopes. Wait.. actually, I probably would, since sitting on the beach in Tahiti drinking martinis would eventually get boring... WHAT AM I SAYING?? Anyway, leos are always out lolligagging on yellow brick roads with floosies in blue jumpers looking for some wizard. Maybe if they quit whinin' and actually got out of the house, they could get their OWN courage, instead of relying on tin men and scarecrows. Sheesh. Those leos think they're so hot. You know they only got that job at K-Mart cuz their Uncle Marty is the stupid assistant manager. Grrrrr. Leos should stay away from wildabeast stampedes. Hakuna Matata.

JULY 7-
Are you livin' la vida loca? WELL STOP IT!

JAN 20-
Be all that you can be. But if your gay, well I'm sorry man you're just gonna have to join the Navy.

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