ARIES

Polka Dot?
Symbol: Ram
Birthstones: Ruby, Diamond
Color: Red

Aries is known to be a noble sign. You can tell because the sign is a goat. The ram first appeared as a symbol in early Egypt, where it was believed to be the protector of the dirty dirty Nile- where people bathed and did their business. The goats were fed well, with banana peels and tin cans and so forth. Where did they get tin cans in early Egypt you say? Well, you'll find the answer to that in the capricorn section. An Aries will usually show strong ability in sports and outdoor activities, such as mountain climbing and kicking with their hind legs. An Aries can eat their own weight in tin. Remember: Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

JULY 7-
Beware of the Aquarius today. With their water and their cleanliness and their obsession with catnip. What's THAT all about??

JAN 3-
You will have your chance, then LOSE IT, you IDIOT!

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