Yes, I'm just full of it. Random comments that is. And now i'm sharing them with you. Now don't you feel special? Of course you do.
And now.. Deep Thoughts, by William
(Note: my newest comments and advice are at the TOP of the lists now. I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner.)
- It's only a matter of time before you realize you're just as stupid as everyone else.
- What I wanna know is, where did the come up with the word "shampoo"?? IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!
- They make you pay $11.50 for a bag of crap at Home Depot. That's pretty messed up.
- I think it's funny when they interview suspected killers on news magazine shows like Dateline and 20/20, and they ask the person if they committed the crime. I mean it's not like they're gonna come out and say, "You know, now that you mention it, YEA, I DID!" Oh, that Diane Sawyer.
- If there was a such thing as reincarnation, I think I'd want to come back as a wombat. Not just cuz of the cool name, but because of the glamorous lifestyle.
- TEENAGE? MUTANT? NINJA? TURTLES? WHO COMES UP WITH THESE THINGS??!!
- Hitler. Boy did he suck.
- What's so great about silicon? Why did they have to name a whole valley after it?
- Tofu is NOT a beef substitute.
- Why are big guys always nicknamed Tiny?
- In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey.
- Who in their right mind would EVER eat at a place named Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles?
- Flavor country isn't all that it's cracked up to be.
- I like to call lobsters sea chihuahuas. Don't ask me why, it just seems fitting.
- If Snapple is all natural, but contains only 5% juice, what natural stuff is in the other 95%? hmm...
- You're 2 beans short of a 3-bean chili.
- Maybe you're not an ugly human being, but a really good-looking ape!
- Sometimes I say to myself, "Man, what the heck was I thinking??" Then I usually say, "Man, shut up already," and slap myself a few times. Life can be stupid like that.
- That's MISTER coffee, to you!
- I think Gatorade is simply flavored sweat.
- We're in AMERICA. Speak ENGLISH. sheeeesh.
- Did you know that a banana is acidic? DID YOU?!?
And now.. a little advice.
- What- me worry?
- You know what would make the world a better place? If people were more like me.
- You are not as fat as you imagine.
- Never eat yellow snow.
- NEVER name anything after Monica Lewinsky. (like a certain Japanese restaurant...)
- In fact, let's just stop talking about her altogether.
- Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
- No one likes excessive sarcasm.
- Don't live in the past. Believe me, it sucks.
- Don't worry about it too much. There's ALWAYS tomorrow.
- Getting senioritis when you are a sophomore is NOT healthy
- Racists suck, so don't be one.
- In the pen of life, you are the ink. Like, write stuff, or something. Duuuuuuuude.
- Got a problem? THROW IT AT A TREE!!!
- One of these days you'll need to stop relying on your tube socks and start doing your taxes yourself.
- Instead of working out, why not try sitting on the couch and watching TV? I mean, really, why didn't we think of this sooner??
- Enough jibber jabbering! Drink school, stay in drugs, and don't do milk.
- Give a man a fish and he'll ask for a glass of milk. Teach a man to fish and he'll keep the doctor away.. or something like that.
- I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR EMOTIONAL CONSTIPATIONS!! -Tantor, from Disney's Tarzan