Personal Stuff
Hello, my name is William Sam and I have the biggest ears on the face of the planet.
WHAT IT IS, JIVE TURKEY?!
Things that annoy me:
- Really nice sports cars with automatic transmission instead of manual.
- People holding drumsticks wrong.
- Telemarketers. Especially the ones who think my dad's name is Sam Richards.
- Uninformative away messages.
- My fortran teacher.
- Alex Wang. HAHA just kidding.
I'll think of more later.
Well this is the part of my site where I tell you a little about myself. So what do you wanna know?
HUH? I am a first year at UCLA, I am majoring in Materials Engineering, I have wonderful friends and I
have eaten scorpion. If you don't believe me about the friends, go look at my "Pictures" section. Well those
last two sentences right there pretty much sums up everything you need to know about me, but here are a few
more interesting facts about me:
- I play drums, piano, guitar, and pretty much every concert percussion instrument there is.
- I have eaten kangaroo, emu, crocodile, rabbit, ostrich, frog, deer, and scorpion.
- I have a sister and a brother-in-law! I'm OLD!
- I met Will Ferrell at UCLA!!
- I once had a TV show on cable access TV with my friends but then it was crushed by a pasty old man named ROB.
- I hate the East Coast
- The only things I won't eat: bittermelon, eggplant, and sea cucumbers.
- I have been to 14 different states, Indonesia, Hong Kong, the Bahamas, Thailand, Australia, China, Germany, Italy, Greece, and Turkey. And don't forget Canada, ay.
- I am a WACKO.
Okay, so lemme tell you all why I can't stand the East Coast...
The summer after junior year I went to Brown University for summer school. I HATED IT! Worst three
weeks of my life! I did not make any friends there, and pretty much everyone there was some stuck up
rich kid from New York. They are seriously way uptight around there. The kids were pretty much sent there
by their rediculously wealthy parents so they could party for 3 weeks. Well, NOT ME! Maybe if I had a fake
ID I could have gone out with some of them and gone clubbing or drinking or loitering. But I didn't. I had
a pair of drumsticks and 2 books by Rush Limbaugh to keep me company. Also, Providence is probably
the most boring city in America. There is nothing to do there. Seriously, people, why are they even part of
our nation? I think that entire coast should just leave. NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE! GO BACK TO ENGLAND!
...There are a couple other disclosed incidents that happened to me that added to my bitterness towards that
particular side of the country, but I won't go into that right now.
Iron Chef is simply amazing. If you have not watched it or you have no idea what I'm talking about,
watch the food network on Fridays and Saturdays at 10 PM. UH! There's nothing like seeing two
Japanese chefs going at it for an hour with terrible voice-overs.
Funny Story: Okay, so one of my friends, let's call him Jon Stein, occasionally does idiotic stuff
like eat disgusting things for money. I mean, this guy once ate a lemon wedge- rine, seeds and
all- for 5 dollars. He alse chugged an entire can of juice concentrate for 7 dollars. This guy is a
complete moron, and he's going to Harvard, people *shaking head in disgust*. Anyway, one time
Jon challenged me to eat something for money. That something was a cup of cold nacho
cheese, and I had to chug it while he was demonstrating a problem on the board in math class.
I figured that doing this would help me to understand what goes through Jon's oversized head
when he does that idiotic stuff, plus I'd be making a tidy little profit. So anyway, he goes up to
do his problem, but not before telling another friend across the room, we'll call him Sam "The
Flaming Homosexual" Wu, about our deal. Sam also agreed to put some money on the table to
see me eat the cheese. He also got everyone's attention on his side of the room, so they were all
looking at me. While Jon was doing his problem, I put the cup to my mouth, and tilted back. The
cheese didn't come down. It was cold, and therefore had turned into a stiffer, more gelatin-like
cheese product. I had to squeeze the cup to get the stuff into my mouth, and I ended up with half
of the gunk in my mouth, and the rest on my face. By now everyone was looking at me, including
my teacher- we'll call her "The Fraz"- who was standing DIRECTLY BEHIND ME THE ENTIRE TIME.
She had a worried/disgusted look on her face as she handed me a tissue. In a few moments I had
finished swallowing the cheese, and I had made two well-earned dollars.
I AM THE KING!
If you would like to know more about me you can go HERE.
You can email me too, if you want.
Instant messenger screen name: bongosRcool
...please don't bug me.
Wombats are cool.