bumper stickers...

“Procrastination-I’ll deal with it sooner or later.”

“If a woman’s place is in the home, why am I always in my car?”

“Guns don’t kill people. I do.”

“Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.”

“My kid had sex with your honor student.”

“If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.”

“Jesus loves you...everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.”

“I’m driving this way to piss you off.”

“Keep honking, I’m reloading.”

“Lord save me from your followers.”

“Friends don’t let friends drive naked.”

“Save the planet!(Kill yourself)”

“I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.”

“The gene pool could use a little chlorine.”

“I souport publik edekasion.”

“Hard work now has a future. Laziness pays off now.”

“I use to have a handle on life; then it broke.”

“As easy as 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841.”

“Don’t judge a book by it’s movie.”

“Smile it makes people wonder what you’re thinking.”

“If you can’t laugh at yourself, make fun of other people.”

“Heck was created for those who refuse to believe in Gosh.”

“You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever.”

“A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.”

“A good pun is its own reword.”

“All the world’s a stage...most of us are just stagehands.”

“If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all the evidence that you tried.”

“Monday is the root of all evil.”

“Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.”

“Join the army, meet interesting people, and kill them.”

“People who live in glass houses...shouldn’t.”

“Atheists have no invisible means of support.”

“Those who live in stone houses shouldn’t throw glass.”

“Gravity always wins.”

"Sucicide is a way of telling God 'you can't fire me, I QUIT!"

"Do I look like a hemroid? Then get off my ass."

"Of course you're faster, but I'm driving in front of you."

"Hang up and drive"

"I wonder how you'd drive with that car phone shoved up your ass?"

"Honk if you hate noise pollution"

Clap one hand if you love Budda"

"Honk if you love chesses."

"Honk if you're illiterate."

"Thank you for not breeding."

"Learn from your parent's mistakes - use birth control"

"Hit me, I need money."

"If you're rich, I'm single."

"Bright red meat is good for you. Fuzzy green meat is not good for you."

"Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter."

"Few women admit their age, few men act it"

"Men aren't pigs...pigs are gentle, cute creatures."

"Normal people worry me."

"Moody bitch seeks nice guy for love-hate relationship."

"Us blondes aren't dumb"

"Don't steal. The government hates competition."

"The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful"

"No radio. Already stolen."

I've run out of sick days, so I am calling in dead"

"Fleece on earth, good wool to ewe."

"If there is a tourist season, why can't we shot them?"

"Nonconformists are all alike."

"End racism...kill everyone."

"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."

"Next time you think you're perfect, try walking on water."

"My other car is a broom"

"Don't follow me. I'm lost"

"Why be difficult? Be impossible."

"Honk if you love me"