Conan: Please welcome, Alyson Hannigan. [Aly walks out, shakes Andy's hand, then Conan's.] How are you?
Alyson: Great. How are you?
Conan: You look terrific.
Alyson: (cheerfully) Thank you!
Conan: Love that dress.
Alyson: I'm a little cold, but whatever.
Conan: For some reason, it's forty degrees here. I don't know why.
Alyson: [mumbles stuff]
Conan: I don't know why. How have you been? Everything good?
Alyson: Uh, yes! Now, I love the band, but I have to ask cause my boyfriend and I have a little debate going. We're a little concerned about the wearabouts of Max. Because I...
Conan: Max Weinberg.
Alyson: Right. I remember you saying he's going on tour, but my boyfriend--whose also a drummer--is very concerned that he has carple tunnel and can't play drums anymore.
Conan: No, no. He is on tour with Air Supply right now, in Europe. He was here, a month before he left, doing "I'm All Out of Love." Over and over again.
Alyson: I missed that!
Conan: Yeah, but he'll be back once that group breaks up again.
Alyson: Oh good.
Conan: We were talking...
Alyson: He's okay, right.
Conan: He's fine. He's coming back at some point, we just don't know when. And, he may not be a drummer when he comes back. He may be doing the maracas.
Alyson: Oh, perfect.
Conan: We were talking back stage and I've seen you of course, in Buffy and I've seen you in person. You're skin is very beautiful, extremely pale.
Conan: Now, on the show, you're really pale because you're a ghost. And I of course, and I have to talk about this because on TV I often look like I have no bone marrow. You know? I'm the sickliest person on television.
Alyson: I think I'm probably the whitest human alive. In fact, right now, this is tan for me which is pathetic.
Conan: This is tan?
Alyson: Yes, I'm like casper, basically. My skin is translucent and I have this fake tanning cream stuff, and that's sad because if you look at me and you're like...
Conan: Wait, this is with the tanning cream on?
Alyson: Yes! This is horrible.
Conan: Oh, you're dead.
Alyson: I know, I told you. I know this is bad.
Conan: Tell me abou this tanning cream. Cause, could I? How does it work?
Alyson: It's like a lotion and you put it on.
Conan: I like lotion.
Alyson: And you rub it on, you rub it in.
Conan: I'm liking this.
Alyson: And in like three to four ours, it...tans you.
Conan: What do you mean?
Alyson: It has to develop. It's like a cake. It has to rise...
Conan: Wait, so you put it on and it's clear, and then you go outside and it starts like hissing?
Alyson: Yes, but the clear problem, is what I have difficulties with because you miss spots and because I'm so white, if I put it on and I miss a spot, there's like a big old white spot on my leg.
Conan: I would spell things on my forhead. Sexy! Then it would develop and people would be like, "You're insane!"
Alyson: But if you miss spots, you tend ot look really dirty. It's digusting.
Conan: Right. I want this cream though, this balm, this lotion, this ointment.
Alyson: Well, come over to the hotel room and I'll give...
[Everyone cracks up and the guys start cheering.]
Conan: Calm down and continue interview. Now, I'm reading an article about you and you said you really like dophins? You're obssessed with dolphins.
Alyson: I love dolphins.
Conan: What is it that you love about dolphins.
Alyson: I've just always been intrigued by them, I guess. I desperately want to go swimming with the dolphins. That's my dream.
Conan: Everybody wants to do that. Do you think the dolphins get irritated?
Alyson: Actually, I've heard that they like to have sex with people. [Room pretty much goes quiet in shock.] Yeah. It's actually...
Conan: Let's roll that elephant clip again. No, I can't see it one more time.
Alyson: I think in Hawaii...
Conan: What do you mean? What are you talking about?
Alyson: No, listen, if you're in the ocean...
Conan: No you listen!
Alyson: If you're in the ocean and a dolphin comes up to you, you're not allowed to touch them because apparently people have had sex with the dolphins and so now they're...
Conan: What kind of people are doing this?
Alyson: Odd, odd people. But whose letting an elephant sit on their head.
Conan: He didn't let it happen.
Alyson: Well, he was there.
Conan: Alright, okay. It was his fault. So, wait. I've never heard that people were out there having sex with dolphins.
Alyson: You've never heard that?
Conan: This is a whole new thing that I'm not in on.
Alyson: Maybe my friends are messing with me.
Conan: I think someone's had a joke at your expense.
Alyson: Okay, well. I just want to swim with...I just love dolphins.
Conan: Everyone always says that dolphins are really nice and everything. I was reading an article in the New York Times, this week. Couple days ago it said that said that dolphins are actually kinda creeps. You know, they're very violent. They like to attack people.
Alyson: Well, I think they just went to the wrong part of the ocean. They interviewed the wrong...They went to the Jerry Springer section of the ocean.
Alyson: You know, there are a few bad seeds out here too. You can interview some people and think "Oh those humans, they just suck."
Conan: Yeah, never happen. Never met anyone I didn't like.
Conan: The chips still in there. [Refers to the back of his head.] This movie. Let's talk about this movie. American Pie. It's set in a high school, and these movies and I look at them and my own personal feelings about these movies is that I look at them and everyone is attractive and they've sort of got it together. It in no way resembles my high school experience. Does it resemble your high school experience?
Alyson: Well, this movie, is very real. It's pretty high school.
Conan: Yeah, but the people are attractive. We were all hideous gouls in my high school.
Alyson: Well, you know...yeah, maybe. But that's okay you can just sort of...Because they go through hideous adventures.
Conan: Well, I know they do. But you know I'm saying that whole "Beverly Hills 90210 snydrome where people are going to high school and they've filled out, their skins really clear and they're in their early forties.
Alyson: See, but in this movie. I mean I look like crap.
Conan: I didn't think so.
Alyson: I...well yeah, I did.
Alyson: That could be just me. I think there's a reality there.
Conan: What were you like in high school?
Alyson: I was like depressed and died my hair black. That went really well with my casper skin. [Stutters over words.]
Conan: Kinda one of the freaks.
Alyson: Yeah. Well...I, uh, yeah.
Conan: Well, I was one of the jocks. [Alyson laughs.] The fact that you laughed at that, hurt me. I'm not coming to the hotel now. [Alyson frowns.] But you know what? It's very cool to meet you and to have you on the show. And American Pie which I've heard is very funny, opens tomorrow.
Alyson: Now, I think it's very specific. The audience that American Pie is geared towards. It's basically anyone who's thought of, heard of, or maybe even had sex.
Conan: Can I see it too?
Alyson: (Sweetly) You've thought of sex, haven't you? [She touches his knee.]
Conan: Yeah, sometimes. Alyson Hannigan, thank you very much. Nice to have you here.
Alyson: Thank you.