Dildos (sung to Jordan Knight's "Take The Place")

only last june when her old man ran away
she bought herself a toy for herself to masturbate
10:35 on her lonely friday night
she was playing by the fire, ooh, she was horny alright
i asked her is she was feeling sick
and she said that all she wanted was a fake dick
and wanted to know
if i thought dildos are qualified

and i said
baby, don't waste my time, (you know)
fucking is on my mind
that may be qualified for a one night stand,
but it could never take the place of a man

it hurt her so bad, her eyes were filled with so many tears
he had scarred her so bad, and now she'll be doing this for years
he left her with a present, and it was shaking on her bed
she couldn't stop crying cause the battery gone dead

she asked me if i had a double-A
And I said, o honey baby i want you to say
me duck, and you fuck
and your dildos can't satisfy

and she said
baby, don't waste my time
fucking ain't on my mind
i could've been satified with a one night stand
but i would never sleep again with a man

won't sleep with a man...

baby, don't waste my mind
i don't really have the time...