A bum asked a man for $2. The man asked, "Will you buy booze?" The bum said, "No." The man asked, "Will you gamble it away?" The bum said, "No." Then the man asked, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"
· You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
· You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from
falling off the earth.
· Job interfering with your drinking.
· Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol
stream.
· Career won't progress beyond Senator of
Massachusetts.
· The back of your head keeps getting hit by the
toilet seat.
· Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th
food group.
· 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case -
coincidence?? - I think not!
· Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a
drinking problem!
· You can focus better with one eye closed.
· The parking lot seems to have moved while you were
in the bar.
· Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
· Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a
burger, screw dinner!
· Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you
· At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is...
uh..."
· Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
· You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in
the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmm.
· The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...
