N*E*W*S*L*E*T*T*E*R

Vol. 18 * November * 2000

INSIDE THIS NEWSLETTER

• Give Thanks
• Elections 2000 * Nov. 7th *
• NY Co-Parent Wins Visitation
• Boy Returned to Gay Dads
• Lesbian Sex, Health Risk Study
• Older Lesbians' Health Risks
• DeGeneres' New Show
• Short Time Topics
• Pet Of The Month
• Cat Advice column
• Poem Of The Month

Happy Thanksgiving

NY Co-Parent Wins Visitation

For the first time in New York state, a court on October 19 granted a lesbian co-parent permanent visitation rights with the two children her former partner bore by artificial insemination. The biological mother known as "Christine" went immediately to file an appeal of the ruling, but Westchester County State Family Court Judge Joan Cooney refused to delay the visits pending appeal. The co-parent known as "Janis" will see the children, a four-year-old boy and a two-year-old girl, on October 21 for the first time since the couple broke up in November 1999.

The ruling was not unexpected. Cooney had previously ordered temporary visitation for Janis at a hearing in July, but the Appellate Division in Brooklyn stayed that order until Cooney delivered her verdict. The appellate court could decide to stay the current order as well pending the outcome of the appeal. Cooney pronounced Janis a "psychological parent" based on her loving, lifelong commitment to them and Christine's encouragement of that relationship. Janis and Christine were a couple for nearly eight years before Christine broke off the relationship.

Christine vowed, "I will fight this all the way. She's not the parent. I'm the parent. It's cut and dried." Christine maintains that Janis was verbally and physically abusive to her and that was why she abruptly ended the relationship, fleeing with the children while Janis was getting a pizza. Christine went on to get a restraining order against Janis. Kernberg also testified that the boy is fearful of Janis kidnapping him and blames her for killing his fish, but Kernberg also seemed to imply that Christine had helped him to feel that way. Certainly Janis' witnesses portrayed her as an involved and loving parent. It was Kernberg's recommendation, agreed to by the judge, that the visits during the first few months should take place at a family support center where professionals could assist.

Janis' attorney Joan Iacono said in her closing that, that Christine and Janis were a couple is well documented. They held a commitment ceremony in 1993 and baptized the children with both their last names. After Christine gave birth to the boy, Janis worked to support the family, including setting up trust funds for the children, while Christine stayed home to care for the children. While the couple were together they had contracted a joint will in which Christine formally granted permission for Janis to adopt the children, although Christine retracted the will after breaking off the relationship.

Although several other states have refused to recognize parental status of lesbians who failed to formally adopt their partners' children, the U.S. Supreme Court has recently declined to take up appeals of rulings in New Jersey and Massachusetts that granted visitation to lesbian co-parents.

Boy Returned to Gay Dads

Police returned 10-year-old Miguel Washington late October 22 to the only family he's ever known: his uncle Paul Washington, Junior and Paul's partner Timothy Forrester of Cathedral City, California. On October 6, Miguel's grandfather Paul Washington, Senior was supposed to take him on a fishing trip, but instead sent him to a cousin in Pennsylvania. There Miguel was not allowed to use the phone and a letter he wrote to his "dads" was not mailed.

Washington, Sr. intends to continue his quest to remove his grandson from a home he seems to believe will make the boy gay, but will do so through the courts. Miguel's mother Angelena Washington has a mental disability that has made her a ward of the state, and she has been declared unfit to act as his parent. She was impregnated while in an assisted living facility by a man whose identity is unknown. When Miguel was eight days old, the family agreed he should go to Washington, Jr., and Angelena signed a letter approving Forrester to act as guardian. The whole family was aware of the men's relationship at the time.

For a decade, Washington, Sr. had little contact with the boy, nor did he make any contribution to his upkeep, but apparently this month he decided he knew better what was good for him than the men who have raised and loved him through those years. The problem for Washington, Jr. and Forrester is that because of the family arrangement, they never formally adopted Miguel, and had no papers to show for him until they sought and obtained a temporary joint custody order from a Riverside County Superior Court judge on October 10. Another hearing will be held December 4 to determine permanent custody. There may yet be charges filed against Washington, Sr. for the abduction, although that would be relatively unusual.

Washington, Senior's attorney Bill Hence has appeared to be making conflicting remarks about the role of sexual orientation in the case. The first letter that he sent to Washington, Jr., received October 7, said the men were "actively promoting or influencing a gay lifestyle for the minor," including sending him to "gay art class and ballet" instead of baseball. The letter also complained of Miguel's lack of exposure to "healthy relationships with heterosexual females." Yet Hence told reporters October 23 that, "This is an issue of what is an appropriate environment for a child. To make this a gay issue cheapens legitimate gay issues." Hence had previously denied to the court that sexual orientation was the issue, citing an "improper environment" instead. Washington, Jr. is completely convinced that sexual orientation is the key issue for his father, who wanted to see Miguel in a heterosexual home. Washington, Senior has also made allegations of physical abuse against his son and Forrester. A judge rejected those allegations as unproven at the October 10 and 13 hearings, and according to a deputy district attorney, even if they were true they did not reach a level to justify removing a child from his home. The men insist that Miguel has never been abused or molested. Other allegations cited "graphic" paintings and sculptures in the house, which the men also deny.

Lesbian Sex, Health Risk Study

Lesbians are having a lot of sex with a lot of partners -- many of them male -- and are experiencing a lot of sexually-transmitted diseases and abortions as a result. At least that's true for a group of some 1,400 women who visited a Sydney public sexual health clinic between 1991 and 1998 and told doctors they'd had sex with a woman at least once, compared to a like number of users of the same clinic who said they had never had sex with a woman. Analysis of the clinic records by a team led by Dr. Katherine Fethers was published October 24 in the journal "Sexually Transmitted Infections," with their conclusion that, "women who have sex with women may demonstrate considerable sexual and non-sexual risk-taking behaviors."

Of the 1,408 women who have sex with women (WSW) among the clinic visitors, only 7 percent had never had sex with a man. A gay or bisexual man was among the WSW's partners three times more often than those of their 1,423 exclusively heterosexual counterparts. While only 2 percent of the exclusively heterosexual women had more than 50 sex partners, 9 percent of the WSW did. Hence the perhaps unexpected finding that the WSW were actually more likely both to have been pregnant and to have had an abortion than the exclusively heterosexual ones.

"We demonstrated a higher prevalence of bacterial vaginosis, hepatitis C and HIV risk behaviors in WSW compared with controls," wrote Fethers. Both groups of clinic users had high rates of genital warts and herpes, and their rates of gonorrhea and chlamydia were comparable. But WSW were six times more likely to have injected drugs, contributing to their increased risk for hepatitis B and C. Among the women in the study, five WSW were HIV+ compared to three exclusively heterosexual women with HIV.

And indeed there has been a growing recognition over the last few years of the need for more research into lesbian health issues, with several significant studies already underway.

Older Lesbians' Health Risks

Lesbian and bisexual women over 50 drink, smoke, are overweight, don't eat right, and don't go to the doctor regularly -- why?

Older lesbian and bisexual women are not taking care of their health as well as older heterosexual women, according to a study in the American Medical Association's Archives of Family Medicine. That's despite the fact that as a group, the lesbians and bisexuals in the study had more access to health care, higher socioeconomic status and more education than heterosexual women. Lesbian health issues have received relatively little research attention, and those of older lesbians almost none.

Compared to the heterosexual women in the study, the lesbians and bisexuals were more likely to drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes and be categorized as obese. They ate less fruit and vegetables. They were less likely to obtain recommended health screenings (for example, regular Pap smears). They scored lower on measures of social support and mental health, showing higher rates of depression. All of these findings were consistent with those from studies with younger lesbians, the researchers said.

The team led by Barbara Valanis, DPH, analyzed data from the huge national Women's Health Initiative, which has collected information from 93,311 postmenopausal women, ages 50 - 79, who were recruited from forty centers all over the country. 97 percent (90,578) of those women identified as heterosexual and 1.5 percent (1,420) had never had sex as an adult. The remaining 1.4 percent (1,313) were divided into bisexuals (740), lifetime lesbians (264) and those who identified as lesbian after age 45 (309). 35 percent of the lesbians and 81 percent of the bisexuals had been pregnant.

DeGeneres' New Show

Ellen DeGeneres' new TV comedy series is getting some help from a former ``Seinfeld'' writer. Carol Leifer has been added as an executive producer to the new CBS show. CBS committed to the new DeGeneres show in 1999 and ordered six episodes. It originally was envisioned with a story line in which DeGeneres would play a television variety show host on camera and off.But Leifer created a new concept in which DeGeneres will play a big city woman who moves to a small town. It could begin airing next spring.

ABC canceled DeGeneres' ``Ellen'' sitcom in 1998, as ratings dropped in the year after the star's character came out as a lesbian. DeGeneres accused Disney-owned ABC of sabotaging the show.The lead character's sexual orientation on the new show has not been discussed.

In other tv show news, John Goodman plays a gay man in Normal Ohio which airs on Wednesdays. Included in the cast is Joely Fisher, Orson Bean, Cody Kasch and Anita Gillette.Premiering on Fox is the new comedy, “Normal, Ohio,” starring John Goodman. Goodman is William “Butch” Gamble, a gay man who had left his family and moved to Los Angeles after coming out. He has now returned, after four years, to his hometown to make amends with his family, specifically his son Charlie, played by Greg Pitts. Charlie doesn’t have a problem with his father’s new found life, he has a problem the fact that his father left him.

Short Time Topic's

Goddess give me strength… the leaves are falling on the old homestead and as fast as I rake them up the harder the old wind blows and the faster they fall and why cant we just leave them on the ground for mulch, speaking of which, I had all my shrubs mulched for the winter and some helpful non-gardener came along and carried the mulch away, and why didn’t this helpful person rake the whole yard? Some days one just can’t win.

This morning I made a list of all the things I had to do today. It was a perfect list. Too bad I can’t find the list, as I am sure there was some fun stuff on it some where between working at home and going to work. Getting older sure has its perks. For instance, if one forgets things you can always blame it on senility, and at my age, I have earned the right to use that word.

Last week, while Luv2much and I were "talking" on this computer, I came across the best house for My Sisters House. I had one advantage over her though. While she could only see it in picture form on the computer, Aprilmoon and I had seen it in one of our jaunts along the back roads of New England, coming back from Northampton, Massachusetts, (supposed lesbian capital of the world) after the June Pride Parade. Of course Luv2much, the sensible two feet on the ground, defender of the bank account woman that she is, put the brakes on this house real quick. I don’t know why as this house has it all, room for seventy eight live-in women, conference center, plenty of walking room, huge kitchen, dining room, tennis courts, stables, views of the reservoir, you name it, it is there. (It also needs a lot of TCL) Hang onto your hats ladies; never tell the Wolf that things are impossible as sometimes dreams do come true.

Ruth Ellis passed away at the age of 101. The icons of the lesbianation are slowly passing from our lives. Hopefully most of their stories and herstories are not all lost from us too. When I first met Ruth, she was a spry 97, dancing the night away with her friend at the Golden Thread celebration in Provincetown. Never once, whenever I saw her did she not have a smile on her face. She once told me being black and a lesbian was like a double row to hoe., but she never openly complained about her life. On October 5, 2000, Ruth passed on to a better life with God and joined with her one life partner in the hereafter. Long live your memory Ruth, it was a pleasure knowing you.

As the number of human rights complaints grows against Canadian mayors who won't issue proclamations of gay and lesbian pride days, the mayors of British Columbia have agreed on an answer: simply exempt proclamations from civil rights laws. On October 25 the mayors overwhelmingly approved a resolution asserting that proclamations do not constitute a "service" under the provincial Human Rights Code, with the implication that mayors can then choose to issue any given one or not at their own discretion, the Vancouver Sun reported. The mayors cited their personal rights to free speech and freedom of religion -- arguments which have failed in the human rights tribunals of other provinces -- and the desire to represent the opinion of their communities. The provincial Government, which did issue a pride proclamation, is not impressed.

Corey Kralewski, 21, was sentenced to life imprisonment for his role in the bashing murder of deaf gay Michael Hatch a year earlier in Barron County, Wisconsin. Kralewski pleaded guilty in August and will testify against Raymond Walton, 34, accused of the same murder, who has a hearing scheduled for November 21. Mary Reed, 34, who watched while the two men beat Hatch to death with a tire iron, has already been given a two-year sentence.

The three had spent an evening bar-hopping when they came across Hatch. Kralewski had gone to high school with Hatch and played pool with him at the bar. Kralewski said Walton had asked him to pretend to be gay to get Hatch to leave the bar with him, and that was probably the content of several notes Reed saw the men pass to Hatch. Ultimately all four rode together to a deserted area where the attack took place. Kralewski said that he, Walton and Reed had all shouted their hatred for gays during the bashing. Hatch's uncle Miles, citing Michael's vulnerability, urged that Kralewski should have to serve at least fifty years in prison, but in fact he will be eligible for parole after 13 years, seven months.

Police in Hurst, Texas are looking for two young men in connection with a suspected gay-bashing early October 21. The 17-year-old victim had just finished closing up CC's Coffee House on Grapevine Highway where he worked and was headed for his car in its parking lot when he was set upon; police believe from dents in the car that his head was slammed repeatedly against it. Police also believe an anti-gay slur scratched on the car may represent the assailants' motive for the attack. The victim was released from the hospital on October 24 after reconstructive surgery on his broken nose, but is known to have two blood clots on his brain which doctors are hoping will dissolve. He said the two being sought, strangers to him, had come into the shop earlier and invited him to go to a party after he got off. He remembers seeing them in the parking lot after he left the shop, but due to the trauma he remembers nothing more.

The police would like to question two males, both about 17 years old, in a white Mitsubishi Eclipse; one is 5'6", 120 pounds, and was wearing a cap or visor; the other is 5'8", 150 pounds, and was wearing a red baseball cap. Those with information may contact Hurst police at 817-788-7146.

The Society of Professional Journalists approved a resolution calling for news organizations to provide benefits for domestic partners of gay and lesbian employees.

The measure, approved 85 to 36 at the SPJ's national convention, was opposed by some members who said the professional organization should not be involved in employment matters such as benefits. ``It's not about employment from our perspective,'' said SPJ diversity chairwoman Sally Lehrman. ``It's about fairness and accuracy in content, which emerges in part from fairness in the newsroom.''<

Pet Of The Month

I dedicate this to my Cat Dickens.

She died 2 years ago of Kidney failure at age 8. As you can see she had quite the attitude

one of her best qualities. I love you Dicky, miss you, and god rest your soul my friend.

Your favorite chair is vacant now...

No eager purrs to greet me

No softly padded paws to run ecstatically to meet me

No coaxing rubs, no plaintive cry,

Will say it time for feeding

I've put away your bowl,

And all the things you won't be needing

But I will miss you little friend

For I could never measure

the happiness you brought me,

the comfort and the pleasure.

And since God put you here to share

In earthly joy and sorrow

I'm sure there'll be a place for you

in Heaven's bright tomorrow...

We are so glad to be hearing from women who want to show off their pets in our parent's new section of the newsletter. Keep those pictures and letters coming and tell us about your human "pets".

Frisky & Cuddles

Feline Staff

A CAT'S ADVICE COLUMN - HOW TO TRAIN YOUR HUMAN:

We cats are beautiful, sophisticated, intelligent creatures. And with a little love and caring, we can keep a human being alive for upwards of seventy to eighty years. If you follow these simple instructions, you too can have your human house trained in no time.

CLEANLINESS TIPS:

For some reason, humans seem to enjoy immersing themselves in running water. Attempts to get humans to lick themselves clean have proven interesting, if unproductive. Can't win them all!

COMMUNICATION TIPS:

Humans are unable to speak a proper language. Therefore, you should communicate a point loudly, repeatedly, and if at all possible, at about three in the morning. Any attempts at human-to-cat communication can be dealt with by simply ignoring it until it stops.

FEEDING TIPS:

Morning feeding should start promptly when your human is fast asleep, preferably three or four minutes before the alarm is supposed to go off. Recommended methods of waking your human include: sitting on its face, screaming in its ear, and biting its hair. MATING TIPS:

Human mating behavior is fascinating. Unfortunately, humans tend to get easily spooked by prolonged study of courtship rituals, and resort to shoe-throwing behavior. TOILET TRAINING TIP:

A human's natural tendency is to not change your litter box. Although experts in human behavior believe it can be attributed to the "laziness reflex," this can be easily corrected through what is called "shoe therapy." Just remember that a human shoe looks a lot like a human toilet, and you should be fine.

Following these simple tips is the first step towards a long and productive cat-human relationship.

Frisky & Cuddles

Poem Of The Month

I know you said good-bye,

thinking it would be easier

Even though you love me still

I can’t help but to miss you

I wish that you could have seen,

just how happy we could have been.

Yet despite the anger that I feel sometimes,

I still love you just the same.

We were happy once,

and I remember those times.

I remember how we smiled and laughed,

and how you held my hand next to your heart.

But still, somehow,

I miss you even more.

Luvie

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