Binky demonstrates her presidential bearing for throngs of admirers at an impromptu press conference.

In a move that stunned both the Democratic and Republican parties, Binky, a calico cat residing in Berkeley, California announced her write-in candidacy for President of the United States. Both President George Bush and Senator John Kerry were reportedly rendered speechless by the news. Ralph Nader is expected to withdraw from the race momentarily, reportedly saying “With the feline rights and catnip industry union vote locked up, Binky is unbeatable.”

A few reporters questioned Binky’s qualifications for the highest elected office in the land, asking how she could possibly be old enough and have resided in the United States long enough considering that she was born in 1998. She responded by pointing out that “…there is no doubt about my American birth and in kitty years I am forty five years old and have resided in the United States the entire time. The constitution is rather vague on the issue of kitty years vs. human years, so that is an issue the Supreme Court will clarify after my landslide victory.” She went on to outline her cogent and workable plans for world peace and an end to terrorism, but the details were drowned out by thunderous applause from her supporters.

After the applause died down, she demonstrated that she can pronounce the word “nuclear” clearly and correctly; an apparent reference to certain sitting presidents who mispronounce the word as “nucular.” Numerous Republicans in the crowd were observed hanging their heads in shame at this point. When asked about health care, Binky unveiled an amazing plan that will provide every American (human and cat alike) with cradle to grave health care, to be enacted within four hours of being sworn into office. This will be funded by a modest $2000 per can tax on dog food.

World stock markets responded positively to the amazing news of the Binky candidacy, and the US dollar promptly quintupled in value. Numerous world leaders immediately pledged to support any and all American Policy Directives originating from this remarkable cat. The UN will meet in an emergency session within hours to discuss a joint resolution calling for Binky to be sworn in as President of the World after her term of office expires in the United States.

In related stories, the Fast Food Industry announced that henceforth “freedom fries” would be called “Binky fries,” Microsoft was changing its’ name to Binkysoft, and the Eiffel Tower will be renamed the Binky Tower.