Female Male. Woman Man, Masculine feminine, Mannish Womanish. All these terms seem to connote the same meaning yet in reality they are quite different concepts. The first two terms represent genetic sexual identity. We will not live to see the day that we transverse these states in toto nor should we want to.
Yes that's right everybody. A male will not be changed into a genetic female nor will the opposite take place in the near future. By the time we reach the intellectual ability to do so we will also be able to circumvent gender dysphoria before birth so let's just put the idea aside that a transsexual will ever get pregnant or have her period.
That said we can move on to the rest of the gender and sexual spectrum and say that it is a wide open road. This is where the variety and eclectic nature of humankind becomes so fascinating. The idea that a man can feel like a woman inside even though he has no idea what being a woman feels like shows how interesting the gamut of human feeling are.
The problems seem to arise when there is a marked conflict between ones inner perception and outer projection. This especially holds true for the heterosexual transvestite. It is difficult to think of a more pronounced dichotomy than a man who wants to look like a woman but function sexually as a heterosexual man. Yet thousands of people are faced with this very situation. Some practice their craft secretly or with grudging acceptance. Others have been lucky enough to find understanding partners who fully participate. Whatever the situation, it is still difficult because society's perception is to be considered. There is still a problem about freedom of dress without stigma or at least a lot of staring.
As I ponder my own gender identity I realize that I have been a craven coward as far as being true to myself. I have chosen to fake being a man out of respect to my parents, then out of allegience to my friends, and finally out of love for my wife and son. My friends and family all know me as a man and my wife and son deserve for me to be a man. This was my feeling for a very long time. The idea of a sex change is very radical to me. Projecting my life as a woman would also be extreme, and yet remaining totally masculine at all times is equally abhorrent.
The answer has come to me over a long period of time. After the birth of my son I felt a strong sense that I wanted to project a more feminine image. Maybe it was because I had finally consumated my life by becoming a father. Whatever the reason, I have taken subtle steps in trying to merge the two genders into a whole person.
After years of studying the transgender phenomena I am ready to render my theory. I have decided that transgender and trans whatever does not quite cover the bases so I have coined a new term which I call AMBISEXUALITY. Defined bu me as favoring heither one sex nor the other but embracing both. Not to be confused with asexual who basically denies all sexuality.
I think that my term says it all. We don't necessarily have to "cross" over to another dress or sex but rather we integrate both and express ourselves as we see fit. If I want to wear a suit I can. If I want to wear a cocktail dress and makeup I can. If I want to wear pantyhose under my pants at work, I will.
This is the meaning of true gender freedom. Not being pidgeon-holed as someone who is man or woman or must always be dressed a certain way. As an ambisexual I am not required to remain static but can freely experience the joys and challenges of being myself in whatever gender role I choose. Whether it be rock climbing. Making love to my wife, or going out on the town in a silky black cocktail dress with evening makeup and a lovely hairstyle.(and if you actually read this far then click on the girl for a surprise!)
