32  ways to confuse your roommate:

1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate
   eats meat.  Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on
   the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in.  If
   he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them.

2. Get some hair.  Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she
   is asleep.  Keep a pair of scissors by your bed.  Snicker at your
   roommate every morning. 

3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray!  You're back!" as
   loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes.
   Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you
   be going somewhere?"

4. Trash the room when your roommate's not around.  Then leave and wait
   for your roommate to come back.  When he/she does, walk in and act
   surprised.  Say, "Uh-oh, it looks like, THEY, were here again."

5. Every time you see your roommate yell, "You son of a..." and kick
   him/her in the stomach.  Then buy him/her some ice cream.

6. Set your roommate's bed on fire.  Apologize and explain that you've
   been watching too much "Beavis & Butthead."  Do it again.  Tell
   him/her that you're not sorry because this time, they deserved it.

7. Put your glasses on before you go to bed.  Take them off as soon as
   you wake up.  If your roommate asks, explain that they are Magic
   Dream Glasses.  Complain that you've been having terrible nightmares.

8. Eat lots of "Lucky Charms."  Pick out all the yellow moons and
   stockpile them in the closet.  If your roommate inquires, explain
   that visitors are coming, but you can't say anything more, or you'll
   have to face the consequences.

9. Set up meetings with your roommate's faculty advisor.  Inquire about
   his/her academic potential.  Take lots of notes, and then give your
   roommate a full report.  Insist that he/she do the same.

10. "Drink" a raw egg for breakfast every morning.  Explain that you
    are in training.  Eat a dozen donuts every night.

11. Every Thursday, pack up everything you own and tell your roommate
    you're going home.  Come back in an hour and explain that no one
    was home.  Unpack everything and go to sleep.

12. Every time you wake up, start yelling, "Oh, my God!  Where the hell
    am I?!" and run around the room for a few minutes.  Then go back to
    bed.  If your roommate asks, say you don't know what he/she is
    talking about.

13. Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm.  Make it bigger every day.
    Look at it and say, "It's spreading, it's spreading."

14. Buy a McDonald's "Happy Meal" for lunch every day.  Eat the straw
    and the napkin.  Throw everything else away.

15. Buy a plant.  Sleep with it at night.  Talk to it.  After a few
    weeks, start to argue with it loudly.  Then yell, "I can't live in
    the same room with you," storm out of the room and slam the door.
    Get rid of the plant, but keep the pot.  Refuse to discuss the
    plant ever again.

16. Buy a Jack-In-The-Box.  Every day, turn the handle until the clown
    pops out.  Scream continuously for twenty minutes.

17. Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room.  If your roommate
    eats eggs, yell at him/her and call him/her a cannibal.

18. Buy some knives.  Sharpen them every night.  While you're doing so,
    look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon...."

19. Lock the door while your roommate is out.  When he/she comes back
    and tries to unlock it, yell, "Don't come in, I'm naked!"  Keep
    this up for several hours.  When you finally let your roommate in,
    immediately take off all of your clothes, and ignore your roommate.

20. Bring in potential "new" roommates from around campus.  Give them
    tours of the room and the building.  Have them ask about your
    roommate in front of him/her, and reply, "Oh, him/her?  He/she
    won't be here much longer."

21. If your roommate comes home after midnight, hit him/her on the head
    with a rolling pin.  Immediately go to bed, muttering, "Ungrateful
    little..."

22. Pile dirty dishes in your roommate's bed.  Insist that you don't
    know how they got there.

23. Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room.
    Keep one pencil on the other side of the room.  Laugh at the pencil.

24. Feign a serious illness for two weeks.  Have a priest come to your
    room and visit you.  Write out a will, leaving everything to your
    roommate.  One day, miraculously "recover."  Insist that your
    roommate write out a will, leaving everything to you.  Every time
    he/she coughs, excitedly say, "Oooh, are you dying?"

25. Live in the hallway for a month.  Afterwards, bring all of your
    stuff back into the room and tell your roommate, "Okay, your turn."

26. Keep a tarantula in a jar for three days.  Then get rid of the
    tarantula.  If your roommate asks, say, "Oh, he's around here
    somewhere."

27. Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you."  Then
    pretend to faint.  When you recover, say you can't remember what
    the message was.  Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!"  Pretend
    to faint again.  Keep this up for several weeks.

28. Bowl inside the room.  Set up tournaments with other people in the
    building.  Award someone a trophy.  If your roommate wants to bowl
    too, explain that he/she needs bowling shoes.

29. Walk backwards all the time.  Then pretend to trip and hurt
    yourself.  Fake an injury and go through a long, painful recovery.
    Start walking backwards again.

30. While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling.  When
    your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

31. Explain to your roommate that you're going to be housing a
    prospective student in the near future.  One day, bring in a pig.
    If your roommate protests, hug the pig and tell your roommate that
    he/she hurt its feelings.  Watch T.V with the pig, eating lots of
    bacon.

32. Make a sandwich.  Don't eat it, leave it on the floor.  Ignore the
    sandwich.  Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say,
    "Hey, where the hell is my sandwich!?"  Complain loudly that you
    are hungry.


This was taken off a free humor site on the WWW.If there are any legitimate reasons why this should not be here pleas ewrite to me and let me know


















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