QUALIA LIX: The Vicissitudes of Love and Reality, when Stepping Out Upon The Moon!
Exploring QUFD Principles,
from the QUFD website,
By Father Jerome
It seems to me, after a bit of reflection upon myself and my personal vicissitudes, in comparison to others, that there are two kinds of people in the world. [Referring only to those of a Positive, good-natured (i.e., 'naturally good'!) mind-set, and disregarding completely any persons of any form of Negative mind-set!] And it seems as though, for those of such a mind-set, that the choice, or chore, of picking one-or-the-other of these two kinds of persons-to-be, is one of the greatest and most significant 'choices' that one might make within their entire Lifetime!
Because, the Reality is, that one might consciously 'wish' to be both kinds-of-person at-the-same-time, but the 'mechanics' and Reality of the situation seem to bear otherwise, meaning that one can only be one or the other! So, inevitably, it 'boils down' to a choice... a most difficult choice, sometimes, because both the Heart and the Soul, of any individual, would prefer to have it both ways!
And let me tell you a secret! It IS POSSIBLE... to have it both ways, and to BE BOTH of those Wonderous 'Personalities' SIMULTANEOUSLY, but...
But, I'm getting ahead of myself here. Let me backtrack a bit here, and 'clue the Reader in' as to exactly what I am talking about here.
When I say there are two kinds of people in the world, I am referring to the following two types of 'Personalities':
First, there is the majority-type, which is the normal, nominal person, who wishes to, as an adult, have and enjoy a wonderful marriage, to a most wonderful spouse, with any number of wonderful children, and any number of wonderful relatives, or 'family', in the sense of the Traditional, Nuclear Family, that has, in Having-It-All, "A Wonderful Life", or at least some semblance of that Wonderful, Traditional 'Life' that Hollywood movies are made of!
Unfortunately, 'Reality' being what it is, many folks do not achieve a 'modicum' of such a Life, but settle for, and endure, something less! But, a goodly number of folks actually do come fairly close to such a 'realization', so this, or such a, Reality is yet a valid Listing here. (Of course, for many folks, this 'Reality' is such a Wonderful 'Ideal', as a mind-set, whether inherited or however 'programmed-therein', that many folks are even yet content to merely be continuously 'striving therefor', whether having achieved such a Reality or not!)
So, I will call this First Choice, a Choice for Home & Family! This means that one's 'mind-set', on a 24/7 basis, is predicated upon any and all of the 'requirements', possibilities, probabilities and such, that actually relate to the actual possibility of achieving such a Wonderful Life! And this includes such things as career/job/vocation, education therefor, Church and all of the further things that 'make up' the Home & Family of such a Wonderful Life!
The Second Choice here, is To Serve Humanity, or To Serve Others and All, or just "To Do Unto Others, As...". Here we find Dedicated People, whether in the Emergency Room, in the Ghettos, in the Newsrooms (or in the Field!), in the Classrooms, in the Ministry, or wherever and however, by their Words, Actions and Deeds, they have 'Chosen' to somehow, Be A Part of 'Making This A Better World', for One and All!
And we do have, in our World of today, many examples of both types of folks, and they are both needed and highly revered, for Who and What They Are! (Especially Fathers, by their Children, or Emergency-Room Doctors, by their Patients!)
But the 'Reality' that I want to address here, is that, within each one of these particular 'kinds' of People, there are many who also, vicariously or merely 'wishfully', would have liked to Have... the Other Type! In other words, they might Love-What-They-Do, and Who-They-Are, but... they 'miss' the intimacy, the romance, the family, the kids, the home, the sharing, and the 'Being-There'... with Others Who Have Meaning In Their Lives! OR... their Lives are bereft of the Challenges, the Quests, the "Doing Unto Others...", that comes only on a Grand-or-Individual-Scale, when One can 'Be' the Sole-Reality of Whatever-It-Is-That-Is-Being-Achieved-For-The-Good-Of-All (i.e., "This is one small step for man, but one Giant Step For Mankind!", Neil Armstrong).
I have felt it myself. I have 'Chosen' (with God's 'help'!), to suffer, to excel, and to do things that only I could have possibly Done, because it was my 'Destiny' to Do and to Be, THAT of Which I Am! And yet, I have also, almost my entire Lifetime, wished that I might also Be Enjoying the 'Realities' and Happiness of... the Other Life!
But, I have also realized that... as to such a 'realization', FOR THE INDIVIDUAL... one can only have 'one-or-the-other', and whichever one choses, comes at the expense of the other, UNLESS...
Unless... there are TWO PARTIES involved! In other words, one might say that, "You can have your cake and eat it too!"... IF you have a Soul Mate who LIKEWISE, can Enjoy the Same Reality... i.e., that he/she can also "Have their cake and eat it too!" Meaning that, BOTH individuals are the sole-progenitors of Whatever-It-Is-In-The-World, that it is their 'Destiny' to Be Doing, On-Behalf-Of 'Making This A Better World'! At the same time, having nothing to lose in doing so, EACH Person can 'Totally-Be-There', With and For, the Other Person, whenever and wherever such demands and such might be! In doing so, each Person grants 'Acceptance' and 'Respect' unto the Other, to Be and to Do, that of which it Is their Destiny to Be or to Do! In doing so, each Soul Mate shares each other's Life, in BOTH the Personal AND the Professional aspects, and there is no acrimony, no recriminations, no animosity and NOTHING, that would in any way, impinge upon that Love and Happiness that each One
'feels' for the Other!
The 'key' here is, as I have said, that 'It Takes Two To Tango!' And the 'Reality', for the individual, is that, on an individual basis, what usually happens is that One 'is Lost' In-The-Other! The Person who 'totally-dedicates' him/herself TO the Other, whether in 'Family' OR in 'the World', usually 'loses' him/herself, as to their own 'Destiny' and of what that individual might have Been or Done, for Others and the World! And that 'Loss' usually comes back to 'haunt' that Person in some way, whether Professionally or just in the Personal Relationship, where the Personal 'Reality' might become, that one of the pair has become less-than-the-other, whether Personally or Professionally.
In other words, the 'requirement', as most successful Hollywood relationships have long realized, is that it takes an 'EQUAL', in some way, to maintain a successful relationship and there can be no better Equal, than a Soul-Mate who KNOWS Who And What they 'Are', What their 'Destiny' Is, and What they are Doing/Being in the World, AND can willfully and fully SHARE that 'Responsibility' WITH One's Soul Mate! THAT is Love Supreme and Forever!