These are Poems that I wrote:
Closure
He’s like a smile. But not a smile for me. I can only hope for a stolen moment of his thoughts. Pictures of eternally blown kisses curl upon my walls Memories lying flat in a sealed envelope, unsent, unframed, un... Call when you need a friend he said but please don’t call... I know I went by your window, and tried to find you in the small empty room. I looked down at the lonely mattress and tried to make you be there one last time. I’ve wanted to cry for you so many times. I tried once, and the tears fell slow and long. I quickly wiped them away and laughed away the silly things. While sifting through a box, I caught a whiff of his old cologne, and briefly wondered whose scent it’s mixing with now. My favorite ring went your way too. Soft Silver lying errant somewhere. Maybe stolen, maybe treasured, maybe worn. I wrote a poem about you that I expected to close the matter. Then I spent hours polishing it up, and found that all I had done was written a poem that I didn’t particularly like.
Walking by the memories The Meeting The friendship The fight (I hate you I never want to see you again) And I never did If I could only hit rewind Erase it and try again (Don’t leave Stay near Be careful Take care of yourself I love you) And most of all (Goodbye) The one word I never got to say I would take it all back in a heartbeat Just to say Goodbye (Goodbye Deena)
Care She sat there motionless. She had lost the will to move, well not unless she had to. The lights were dimmed, the curtains closed, the only sound in the room was that of the T.V. She was not watching it, but had left it on. Any sound was good company. She stared at the floor, and looked at everyone as if she didn’t care about anything. That was not true, she did care about other people. Just not enought about herself.
Lingering in the Past why am i so stuck on him? he shows no compassion or consideration for my feelings except every once in a while--- when he says he misses me and wishes i were there and i fall for it oh, the fool that I am i page him just so we can talk and i wait by the phone as though it were my lifetime why am i so excited or downtrodden by his every utterance? he isn’t the love of my life though he could have been i guess that’s why i keep hanging on... he still could be no! you couldn’t be that foolish you’ll never learn will you? YOU’RE SUCH A FOOL!
lately i allow myself too much love too strongly and with abiding passion. and I know all to well that nobody wants to be loved obsessively. we all want what we can’t have, and don’t want what we can right? so why do i have to love you? it’s not as if you’ve done anything for me lately, or as if i feel especially good about myself when i am with you. so i need you because why? it’s sort of like you are a life preserver or something i’m not whole without you. is this why i fear losing you, and waste time wanting what i can’t have, and feeling like the heroine of one of those ridiculous teen romance novels? my name ought to be cindy or brooke, and you ought to show up at my door one night with a bouquet of roses, and declare your undying love for me. but life isn’t a novel. not as if i hadn’t realized that long ago, but i never gave up hope. even now, i still hope kind of. i tell myself “why bother”, but then I think, what if it is true what they say, and you only get one chance. pretty pathetic at 17, but possible. so what if you’re my only chance for love, but i’m not yours? so then what? am i basically just screwed? it hurts to love so much. i push it to the back of my heart. the only way to deal with out exploding into a million tiny pieces. you’re in my heart. you’re also in my soul. and try as i might, i can’t get rid of you. love is a grand and glorious thing. yeah, whatever! anyone who believes that for a second is naive, or else lucky.
