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'What Choice Is This?'

"They say I must make a choice to terminate and have you die now, or carry you and have you die later. What kind of choice is that?

If I really had a choice you would not die at all. I wish you could stay inside of me where it is safe and warm. That would be my choice for you. When I think of making choices for you, I think of piercing your ears or not. What color dress you will wear. What school I will put you in. Not die now or die later. Dying is not a choice. Who would willingly choose death?

If your death must be, it will not be by my actions. I will have no part in it! I love you and could not be the cause of your death.

Some say it would be easier to terminate. Easier for who? Not me and not you! For them, so that they don't have to look at us with my big belly and wait for death to knock on our door. I loved you before you were sick and your being sick hasn't changed that. Hold on, sweet baby, and fight for your life.

I made my choice before you were conceived when I asked God to give me a child. I promised to love and care for you. This I will do for as long as God lets me. A choice is usually something that has two different endings. So why does my choice have only one? Your death, either way. The only choice that I have left is that I will NEVER forget. I'll love you forever, Brittany Ann."

(Brittany Ann was diagnosed with anencephaly on 4/12/94 and was born to Marylynn & Dan Kalevich and five siblings on 6/1/94. She survived for 29 minutes.)

If you have received an anencephaly diagnosis, please visit the link below:

Anencephaly Support Foundation
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