Lamestain Records is an Orangeville based indie label specializing in the distribution of musical recordings by eccentric artists. In other words, we're a record from the crappy stink town of Orangeville that sells tapes by weird artists and bands. But that's not all, we also sell zines, stickers, and t-shirts, that we make ourselves. We've been around for two years, and we've really taken the local art community by storm. Some of our artists have even been featured in mainstream periodicals, actually the Toronto Star.
Up To The Minute (not really) Lamestain Records, Weener , & + Minus News
I Beat, You Beat, We All Beat For Teen Meat
Semi cute non-threating guys, weight loss tips, make-up tips and a Prom fashion guide. It's not Seventeen, IT'S TEEN MEAT. The retarded sibling of all girl magazines. The next print has been delayed because we can't steal photocopies from school anymore. But...Check out the Teen Meat internet funk-fest-o-rama at http://zip.to/teenmeat
"I'm Doing This To Pick Up Chicks"
That's what Theo Markou of T>T>M>X had to say about playing the Mayfield Secondary School "FUNNY SHO", the school's first (and probally last after Theo tells some jokes, and plays some songs) comedy show. He will be joined on bass guitar by Adam Earle from Smells Like A New House. "We're the funniest act on the bill. Actually, we're not as funny as the guy who has titties, and does impressions. HE'S A GUY WITH FLIPPIN' TITS, WHAT'S NOT FUNNY ABOUT THAT. Mayfield will become infamous with rock, and stupidity on May 15th 2000. BE THERE!!!
Acts On Lamestain Records, + Minus Records, & Weener Records
DJ Theo Extreme: Face it, there's a little part of us that's kind of queer. There's also a little part of us that's a techno fan. Where you're a hardcore rave-rump-shaker (or is that shaka), or you just wanna indulge the little techno junkie inside of you, Check out DJ Theo Extreme.The extreme means extremely extreme. **FEATURED IN THE TORONTO STAR**
Smells Like A New House: Smells Like A New House is the most innovative band since Abraham & The Butterchurn Goodtime, Fun Band. How ever, Abraham and his band of Amish rebels failed to brake into the mainstream because they never embrassed the process of recording music, or playing on TV or the radio. They just though all of those things where evil. SLANH however is far more innovative, with their catchy basslines, jumpy lyrics, and piss-knocker parodies. And hey, you can even buy tapes of SLANH tunes. These boys have released almost TWENTY albums, so you have to own at least one.
T>T>M>X: The days of the angry young male singer/songwriter with an acoustic guitar, or the angry lesbian singing about cutting off her former male lovers manhood are over. Make way for The Theo Markou Experience, a solo project with a difference, and an electric guitar. Mixing Folk, Punk, Rock, Ska, Jazz, New Wave, and Rap (but not together), and a killer live show, T>T>M>X will appeal to even most conservative of Clien Deon fans. And hey ladies, this guy does Backstreet Boys and Ricky Martin covers.
Skiff: Who says that Alternative rock is dead, or in "remission". If you ask us, it's alive and well in living in Brampton Ontario. Skiff doesn't just play alt-rock, THEY ARE ALT-ROCK!!!. If you dig Pavement, you'll love Skiff. And if you like Skiff, you'll love Pavement.
Damn This Nymphomania!!: We here at Lamestain LOVE NYMPHOMANIA!!. Sure, it's a diease of the mind. But without it, we would never get any chicks. We also love Damn This Nymphomania!!, a group on loan to us from Anal Log Records. These guys fit right in with the whole Weener/Lamestain vibe, and the kids love 'em because they've got a guy who does turntable stuff. Don't you remember when you where 10 and you did some scratching on your parent's turntable with a priceless Beatles record?. Remember the look one your dad's face?. Kids are so damn stupid.
The FuzzMen: They where kicked out of the humble home which is Lamestain Records, so we're not gonna say nice stuff about them. They are now on Terror Tone (a metal label out of Buffalo) and they won't pay us for the logos we designed for them, and they're selling dubs of our releases out there tour van and not paying us.
Slaughta Ya Otta: People say that rap today is fuel by violence, sex, money, power, and Puff Daddy's urine. They're right, and it's a damn a shame. But weep no more for the rap of yester-year, Slaughta Ya Otta are here to save the day with their new, old skool rap tunes. This threesome from the oxymoronic genre which is new old school are to wimpy, to ugly, to poor, and don't have geographic requirements to be hip hop stars. But they've got the hair cuts.
The Gat Totin Pimp Daddies: The second rap group to be signed to Lamestain Records. The Gat Totin Pimp Daddies are pure gangsta rap. These fellas have all the local bitchs and hoes either on their knees or backs because they live the gangsta rap lifestyle. They tote gats (those guns to us normal people) around, speak ebonics, and drink malt liquor out of a brown paper bag. They're lyrics are full of dirty words, and references to "the man", and the penis of Burt Reynolds. "I just wanna walk around with a 40 in one hand, a brown paper bag on my head, and cell phone in my back pocket, ten pagers clipped to pants, and my dick in my other hand", goes the lyrics to "I Just Wanna Around With A 40 In One Hand, A Brown Paper Bag On My Head, And A Cell Phone In My Back Pocket, Ten Pagers Clipped To pants, And My Dick In My Other Hand".
When We learned that money didn't grown on trees, We waged war on trees by using LOTS of paper. But when we learned that Apples, Rubber, and Root Beer come from trees we decided to save as many trees as we could. So if you want a catalog, e-mail our internet lackies at skankboy@tomgreenshow.zzn.com for a catalog until we post it on the page.
Other Lamestain & Weener Records Products and Services
Videos:
The World's Most Demented Home Videos: The Lamestain, + Minus, & Weener Records Video Collection (held back again)
Zines:
Fun Lamestain Records On-Line Features:
Lil' Picasso Photo Gallery
Lame-ssage Bored (message board)
The Wit & Wisdom Of Lamestain Boy
MP3's of Death
Copyright 1999 Lamestain Artists Resource Centre (LARC).
