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This is the ESL Joke Page

These are not a N.E.W. Joke. (But what are?)

Katherine's Bilingual Joke

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right". < FONT COLOR="#0f0f0f" BACK="#fffffe" SIZE=3 >

Marcia's Bilingual Joke

The baby mouse had been warned by her Mother to be careful whenever she left the safety of inside the wall. But the baby mouse did not always remember!

One day the baby mouse was too busy eating crumbs from the floor to notice the shadow approaching her slowly. Too late the baby mouse saw there was a large cat behnd the shadow. The baby mouse ran to the hole-in-the-wall but the cat kept gaining on her. The baby mouse ran her little heart out but the cat was only a pounce away when the mother mouse came out to see what her baby was up to.

Seeing that the baby mouse was not going to get to the safety of the hole-in-the-wall, the Mother Mouse opened her mouth and shouted, "Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!"

At the sound the cat pawsed (sic) to look where danger might lie and gave the baby mouse time to sprint into the hole-in-the-wall.

As the baby mouse lay out of breath in safety, the Mother mouse shook her finger in loving anger. "See what advantages there are to knowing a second language!"

Another of Katherine's ESL Jokes

Q: What's the difference between a large pizza and an ESL teacher?

A: The pizza can feed a family of four.

What! You don't like either of these? Do you know a better one? If so, email to address below.

Humour Links

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